How to handle this Flake?

[Sdives]

I know this girl, I know that I am interested in her and she likely is interested in me. I was conversing with her and I told her I was going to a movie with a couple guys (Her coworkers). They invited me out of nowhere like randomly. I said "sure" then I walked over to her and I told her.

I didn't get to finish the sentence and she said, "I'm going". Then said" I don't care I'm going" again. Now I wasn't inviting her or anything at all. I was just telling her that literally seconds before they asked me to come out with them and I said I would.She totally without hesitation said she's going and was firm about it.

I know she didn't know about this event, as they just asked me out of the blue, and she was too far away to hear our conversation of the guys inviting me. She basically invited herself. No problems. I had no intent to invite her, but I would anyways. I was telling her this just to spark conversation.

But at the day of, she flaked. Now nothing was confirmed and I told her to check with them as they are coworkers and I would not be around do so. When is see her again, How do I handle this?

The point is she jumped at the chance. I wasn't even asking her to the movie. Then she didn't show

 

[Urbanyst]

She sounds a little nutty.

There is really nothing to handle. What you are talking about is in the past. Focus on the future.

 

[Sdives]

She sounds a little nutty.

There is really nothing to handle. What you are talking about is in the past. Focus on the future.

Why nutty? I asked about the future how. should I handle seeing her again. I saw this as her saying of a way getting to know each other better.Like before a real date. That's why was excited to come along. I didn't even finish the sentence before she said "I'm coming"

 

[Glassguy]

It really wasn't a "date". It was a group of people who were going to a movie.


Therefore, she really didn't flake. She just decided not to go.

Either ask her out on a real date or ignore.

 

[Sdives]

It really wasn't a "date". It was a group of people who were going to a movie.


Therefore, she really didn't flake. She just decided not to go.

Either ask her out on a real date or ignore.

Well she was pretty firm about going I could not finish the sentence before she wanted to go. I wasn't eve asking. I do think she saw this as an opportunity to get to know each other hence the enthusiasm. Like I can't do a real date yet, her comfort levels aren't there, but she will do a group date. Its an opportunity to talk and then bails?

 

[Roober]

It really wasn't a "date". It was a group of people who were going to a movie.


Therefore, she really didn't flake. She just decided not to go.

Either ask her out on a real date or ignore.

This! Ask her out on a real date and you will have your answer

 

[bigneil]

Why nutty? I asked about the future how. should I handle seeing her again. I saw this as her saying of a way getting to know each other better.Like before a real date. That's why was excited to come along. I didn't even finish the sentence before she said "I'm coming"

Wow, you must have seemed like her dream guy when you told her you were going to see a movie with two other men. Were their names Lance and Bruce?

 

[bigneil]

Well she was pretty firm about going I could not finish the sentence before she wanted to go. I wasn't eve asking.

Of course not. You were too afraid to actually ask her to go out with you. You thought maybe if she hung out with you, Lance and Bruce she would have decided that you were just a really, really nice man who is clearly popular in your gender studies class.

 

[Sdives]

This! Ask her out on a real date and you will have your answer

I cant do that yet. Her comfort levels aren't there. But she will jump at the chance to do a group thing.

 

[ubercat]

Her comfort levels or yours? Anyways doesn't sound like yr up for a sassy girl yet. Y not practice on one who s a bit quieter.

 

[Roober]

I cant do that yet. Her comfort levels aren't there. But she will jump at the chance to do a group thing.

comfort levels? What the h3ll does that even mean? Well, work it a little bit, then get her out... do not do the group thing.

 

[Glassguy]

There are legit questions and opinions in the plate spinning world and then there is common sense.

I laugh that this is what the forum has come to.

Sdives- you have a lot of posts. Do you really need someone to explain how to ask a girl out? Just in case you do....

You: Hey I am thinking of grabbing a drink Tuesday night at 8pm. I would like you to join me.
Her: Are you asking me out?
You: Yes, for a drink.

Then she gives you your answer.

They cant flake if its not a date and you cant escalate if its not a date.

So far you've said nothing to show this chick has high interest, or really any interest in you. Ask her out to find out.

 

[Sdives]

There are legit questions and opinions in the plate spinning world and then there is common sense.

I laugh that this is what the forum has come to.

Sdives- you have a lot of posts. Do you really need someone to explain how to ask a girl out? Just in case you do....

You: Hey I am thinking of grabbing a drink Tuesday night at 8pm. I would like you to join me.
Her: Are you asking me out?
You: Yes, for a drink.

Then she gives you your answer.

They cant flake if its not a date and you cant escalate if its not a date.

So far you've said nothing to show this chick has high interest, or really any interest in you. Ask her out to find out.

I'll get to it, but first this situation. I guess I can only act like nothing ever happened. And thats its not a big deal, which it isn't

 

[marmel75]

I cant do that yet. Her comfort levels aren't there. But she will jump at the chance to do a group thing.

Replace comfort with interest and this is a true statement.

 

[Sdives]

Replace comfort with interest and this is a true statement.

No Im confident that she does infact like me. I cant ask her out yet, but she was adamant about coming out.

But I see what you guys mean about it isn't really a flake.

 

[Glassguy]

No Im confident that she does infact like me. I cant ask her out yet, but she was adamant about coming out.

But I see what you guys mean about it isn't really a flake.

I'm utterly confused.

You think that she is interested but you can't ask her out yet. Why is that?

 

[Sdives]

I'm utterly confused.

You think that she is interested but you can't ask her out yet. Why is that?

She's not totally sold yet.

 

[Glassguy]

Isnt that the reason that you get her out on a date dude?

 

[Urbanyst]

Why nutty? I asked about the future how. should I handle seeing her again. I saw this as her saying of a way getting to know each other better.Like before a real date. That's why was excited to come along. I didn't even finish the sentence before she said "I'm coming"

Stop focusing on this. It's not important at all. That's what I was trying to say.

 

[Sdives]

Isnt that the reason that you get her out on a date dude?

I havent bothered just yet, she invited herself out with us. I didn't invite her. She cut me off mid sentence saying she was coming