How to handle the Ex

[kim]

Hey guys need some help dealing with a chick and her ex, recently hes trying to get into her life. they broke up 8 months ago and ive been keeping her company for about 2 months now. but every time things start looking up for a ltr, he makes an appearance. shes adamant that its over but i know how easy it is to get back with an ex just for a quickie. should i cut her loose or play along ????

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I don't get why girls feel the need to keep exes around. I've purposefully never stayed friends with exes, and the one girl i dated who was friends with her ex I ended up dumping. Personally, I wouldn't play along, but I wouldn't force her to leave him alone either. I'd just wait til she brings up the "what are we" convo, then say "well, that depends- you still hanging out with any exes?" And if she said yes I'd say "oh, ok, cool- let's just keep things the way they are then." And that's it. Since you're not bf/gf officially yet (I'm assuming) this is the best way to play it.

 

[kim]

thanks harry, the ex thing kinda pisses me off and i dont want to get caught in the friend zone.

 

[[email protected]]

You know, im in the game 7 years and in my last relationship something like that happened. Trust me on this one buddy, you must draw a line and show her you dont like it if she hangs out with him and if she cares about you then she will listen. When I was in relationships I was not in contact with my exes, and tell her that she wouldnt feel nice either.

The sooner you draw a line, the better. Ask her "with whom you wanna hang out with... me or him?" I know it sounds maybe needy, but get rid of obstacles sooner then later... trust me

 

[QuadDeuces]

Keep in mind you might be just only be the rebound or the guy to make the ex jealous.

 

[asa_don]

I wouldn't be with a girl that has an ex lurking around. That is never any good. That means she isn't over him yet. If she didn't want him around she would make that clear to him. He still has a thing for her and she has him available. If she really wanted an LTR with you she would be in one with you. I would keep her around for the sex while you find another girl and then get rid of this one. She can always go back to the ex anytime and they have history. She doesn't with you.

 

[joe henny]

Why are you not talking to multiple women? Women always will remain loyal to their ex's for an unreasonable amount of time.

 

[GotED?]

You need to learn the basic principle in establishing your FRAME in the beginning of a relationship.

This is the ONLY thing you need to be seriously in charge of as an Alpha male. If you do not establish your frame (set the rules, boundaries, making her known that you have options and will walk if she misbehaves) in the beginning, you will have a VERY DIFFICULT time doing so later down the line.

You can only establish your FRAME properly in the beginning. If she does not comply, then she is a testosteroned modern man in a female body - move on to another better choice: a feminine woman.

Good luck.

Exodus

 

[Cremasta]

I've never had any problems with gf's still being in contact with their exes.
I've just never been the jealous type, and if they really want to be in contact, they'll do it anyway, with or without your blessing.

I DO have a problem if they want to spend time with the ex instead of me. That is not acceptable and they get put back in their box real fast!

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

Depends how SHE is handling the ex.

Does she brush him off in a freindly way? Does he innitiate most of the contact?

If she is innitiating and contacting regulary you may have a problem. As Cremasta pointed out, if she is spending time with him or seeing each other in person get out of their now.

 

[kim]

thanks guys for the help, i didnt set any limits from the start any way that plate crashed recently, good thing i was spinning a couple more so i didnt feel it