ok so im thiiiiiis close to getting out of ljbf with this chick, im doin everything right, but there is one problem. she has been cheated on by most of her boyfriends and she cleary has alot of trouble trusting guys. does anyone know what i can do to let her know she can really trust me?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
how to get her over her trust issues?
- Thread starter lil devun
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
cactus3178
Senior Don Juan
All you can do is let her know that not all guys cheat and that trust is important to you. Trust takes time to build-just don't screw up.
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
Yeah bro I'm kinda in the same boat as you. Remember that your need to make her feel emotionally connected to you. So rather than plead your case to her, like a desperate soul, just take the time to SHOW HER, that you care and that she should't worry about you cheating. I see it so much on this site, where guys beg and plead their case to girls and all that does is turn them off more or make insecure girls worse.
Like I said once you've got her emotionally connected to you, she'll open up and trust you.
PIMP
Like I said once you've got her emotionally connected to you, she'll open up and trust you.
PIMP
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
biker_gixxer
Master Don Juan
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- May 3, 2004
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Something else you may want to remember this that girls LOVE drama. This may be a way for her to keep your attention by keeping the issue burning. Maybe I'm wrong, who knows, but it's def. something I would think about.
This is the way I see it...
If she has trust issues, then that's 'her' problem, those are her demons to battle, not yours. By going out of you way to prove your not 'that' guy, your giving her control of the situation and yourself.
I would say
"this conversation is getting old and i'm bored with it, let me know when you have your **** together".
This is the way I see it...
If she has trust issues, then that's 'her' problem, those are her demons to battle, not yours. By going out of you way to prove your not 'that' guy, your giving her control of the situation and yourself.
I would say
"this conversation is getting old and i'm bored with it, let me know when you have your **** together".
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
The best you can do for anyone is inspire them to make the change for themselves. You will never be able to make anyone change and make it stick without the person wanting to do it for themselves and not only for you. If she doesn't want to change, why should she do what you say?
squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,620
- Reaction score
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- Age
- 47
OK, stop right there.
1) How long have you been "LJBF" with this chick?
2) In what way has she indicated her trust issues to you? Be specific.
The reason I'm asking these questions is because I get the impression that you're nowhere CLOSE to being "out of LJBF" and that she's trying not to hurt your feelings by acting like you have a chance and she's using her "trust issues" as an excuse not to date you.
If that's not the case, you're going to have to be more specific.