How to get a girl in your apartment building

[SH03C]

Hey fellow DJs,

I’d like to know if anyone has experience or strategy for setting up with a girl who lives in your apartment building.

I recently moved to a moderately upscale building in May and have seen this girl every now and then, I’ve also talked with her briefly a few times including the day I moved in but it was mostly small talk. She’s very low key, about 23 and lives across the hall from me.

I’ve always had a bit of an issue with escalating so any advice would be helpful in my case.

Thanks

 

[member160292]

Wouldn't advise you to do anything with neighbors, but if you're up for it...

Make a dish and give her some of it, no chit chat just say thanks for being a good neighbor. If she doesn't return the favor, you'll know where you stand.

 

[SH03C]

Wouldn't advise you to do anything with neighbors, but if you're up for it...

Make a dish and give her some of it, no chit chat just say thanks for being a good neighbor. If she doesn't return the favor, you'll know where you stand.

Appreciate the recommendation. I’ve heard people not to get involved with others in your apartment building but I’m not too concerned here. I have a private entry way so it’s easy to avoid others when needed. She’s also quite reserved and I don’t think any bs would go down.

Im a little unsure of the dish idea. That’s not quite my style and I’m no chef.

 

[jimwho]

The odds of her turning into a fairy tale hot sexy fun neighbor are a Billion to one. Eventually it will be awkward
Annoying and shty. Guaranteed. When you said across the hall I blew Pepsi out my nose.

 

[SW15]

There's an expression to not shiit in your own backyard. Dating a woman in your own apartment complex is shiiting in your own backyard, especially when she lives on the same floor as you and down the hall. That's too close. When things go bad, and they often will, you'll still have to see this woman. That's uncomfortable.

In larger apartment communities (I would call that 200+ units), you might be able to justify dating someone in the complex under one of 2 scenarios.

• If you are in a mid-rise or high rise building (4+ stories), the woman lives on a different floor as you do, and you're not likely to ever go to that floor. It's still possible you might run into her in common areas, but some men are comfortable with that risk level, especially if you're only seeing her 1-2 times a month at best.
• If you are in a complex of garden style buildings (multiple 1-3 story buildings), the woman lives a few buildings away and you're not likely to see her walking to/from your car. Like the last scenario, it's still possible to see her in common areas but the risk is mitigated if her building is not close to yours.

Some men would prefer not to date within their own community even if they live in a 200+ unit community and one of the two scenarios above applies to them.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Not if she lives ACROSS THE HALL, op. Might as well have a live-in girlfriend who you aren't banging and who isn't helping with the rent. Even if you have your private entry as you say, she can still tell when you're home.

That being said, you can bang a relatively distant neighbor in the same complex if she's hot enough. Just don't make her your GF.

 

[SH03C]

There's an expression to not shiit in your own backyard. Dating a woman in your own apartment complex is shiiting in your own backyard, especially when she lives on the same floor as you and down the hall. That's too close. When things go bad, and they often will, you'll still have to see this woman. That's uncomfortable.

In larger apartment communities (I would call that 200+ units), you might be able to justify dating someone in the complex under one of 2 scenarios.

• If you are in a mid-rise or high rise building (4+ stories), the woman lives on a different floor as you do, and you're not likely to ever go to that floor. It's still possible you might run into her in common areas, but some men are comfortable with that risk level, especially if you're only seeing her 1-2 times a month at best.
• If you are in a complex of garden style buildings (multiple 1-3 story buildings), the woman lives a few buildings away and you're not likely to see her walking to/from your car. Like the last scenario, it's still possible to see her in common areas but the risk is mitigated if her building is not close to yours.

Some men would prefer not to date within their own community even if they live in a 200+ unit community and one of the two scenarios above applies to them.

Nice cut and paste

 

[Chronocidal]

I'll be a bit contrarian here: Maybe just ask her the exact same way you might ask anyone else (e.g. just asking her to whatever first date you normally might ask someone on)?

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I wouldn't talk to her on a personal level.
If she is gonna be fair game on some neighbor sh!t let her gravitate more to you.
Instead bring a hot azz chick over so she can see that.
.
If you do bump heads with her in the hall again just a cordial nod with a "hey" lookin her in the eyes type of sh!t and get going. no more small talk unless she is horny in which she will let you know with her body language and words. Do what a real mack does and pick up the signals.

Be mysterious. Be that guy who just pulled up to her turf with no fvcks given.

If you carry yourself with enough essence and masculine energy I put $100 on the table right now that you will bang her before the year ends.
tread lightly though.

 

[member160292]

And I’ll take that $100

 

[SH03C]

I have considered getting a bottle of wine and asking her if she’d like to help me drink the bottle, pretty much just saying it was gifted to me and I’m not a big wine guy.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Just chat her up when you see her and casually invite her to stop buy some time, or just say something like "I was just getting ready to do x...did you want to join me?"

Casual, no big deal, and of she says no, don't act disappointed just be like "cool...maybe some other time." And go about your business.

Just come across as a cool, fun guy that is not needy or desperate and probably a good chance she takes you up on your offer at some point.

In short, there is no "secret method". It's the same as any other interaction, this just makes it more likely you will see her with some frequency.

And honestly even if you just remain on good terms with her, you might be able to meet some of her friends which would be ideal because they would be one level away from you in terms of being around constantly to deal with drama if things don't work out.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Don’t.

Be cordial with her and see if she has any hot friends or hosts any parties.

 

[SH03C]

Don’t.

Be cordial with her and see if she has any hot friends or hosts any parties.

Yeah, will pass on that idea. FWIW she’s pretty low key, could probably even say a bit recluse. Doesn’t host parties and doesn’t seem to be the party type. Haven’t ever seen her with others and I know she went to an honors school at penn state. Kind of a nerd perhaps

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Don’t.

Be cordial casual with her and see if she has any hot friends or hosts any parties.

FIFY

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

This is the dumbest most desperate move I've ever heard of.

Are there not ladies outside your apartment building?

 

[SH03C]

This is the dumbest most desperate move I've ever heard of.

Are there not ladies outside your apartment building?

Hahahha sure, bud. This is simply unchartered territory for me here. Take your negativity elsewhere.

 

[jimwho]

Hahahha sure, bud. This is simply unchartered territory for me here. Take your negativity elsewhere.

I have considered getting a bottle of wine and asking her if she’d like to help me drink the bottle, pretty much just saying it was gifted to me and I’m not a big wine guy.

Clearly you are going to do what your peepee tells you. Why even make a post? Tell us all how it turns out in three months when you check your peep-hole every time you want to go out for sandwich. Or sneaking out the back.