"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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how to end a relationship

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iliketennis

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girl i saw for about a month and a half. when we first met she had a boyfriend, they broke up and I thought we'd be together. I was wrong but it was some fun times... tomorrow when she comes to get her stuff this is what i'm gonna say in person, more or less. lemme know what you think. anything i should add or take out. i'm good at speeches :)

_____________________

Well it was a lot of fun. I was probably too dramatic when you ended things with me. I mean, in a few weeks you'll be another girl I've dated. I guess it's that you were cute and in law school, and I'd been waiting for that...and I thought that was a big deal at the time. Oh, and you were a girl in law school who knew how to act in bed, haha. I got addicted to that...I hope we can stay in touch.

You made me realize that I need to be thinking bigger. It'd be silly for me to stay in in this town over some girl who may not feel the same next week! I have great opportunities in D.C. and Atlanta that I'm going to look into now. And you were right a few weeks ago when you said if we stayed together we might get resentful... I've always felt really sorry for your boyfriend but I never wanted to tell you. I think what you did to him is terrible but I was too selfish to say anything.

I'm gonna be a better person because of you and I wanted to say thanks. After you ended things with me, I finally beat Tim in tennis, too :). First time ever after three months of playing... thanks again
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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scribblec

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its just all wrong. im no expert but thats a **** way to end a relationship sounds like ur groveling
 
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iliketennis

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no it's letting her know i'm better off without her. i'm not asking for anything.. what makes you think i am?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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scribblec

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tobylikestennis said:
girl i saw for about a month and a half. when we first met she had a boyfriend, they broke up and I thought we'd be together. I was wrong but it was some fun times... tomorrow when she comes to get her stuff this is what i'm gonna say in person, more or less. lemme know what you think. anything i should add or take out. i'm good at speeches :)

_____________________

Well it was a lot of fun. I was probably too dramatic when you ended things with me. I mean, in a few weeks you'll be another girl I've dated. I guess it's that you were cute and in law school, and I'd been waiting for that...and I thought that was a big deal at the time. Oh, and you were a girl in law school who knew how to act in bed, haha. I got addicted to that...I hope we can stay in touch.

You made me realize that I need to be thinking bigger. It'd be silly for me to stay in in this town over some girl who may not feel the same next week! I have great opportunities in D.C. and Atlanta that I'm going to look into now. And you were right a few weeks ago when you said if we stayed together we might get resentful... I've always felt really sorry for your boyfriend but I never wanted to tell you. I think what you did to him is terrible but I was too selfish to say anything.

I'm gonna be a better person because of you and I wanted to say thanks. After you ended things with me, I finally beat Tim in tennis, too :). First time ever after three months of playing... thanks again
Click to expand...
bolc
 
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iliketennis

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yeah i'm telling her i pretty much just wanted her for sex and that i have more confidence on the tennis court without her...

how else would that be interpreted?
 
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jophil28

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Toby, if she was the one who dumped you, then she could care less about how you feel, and anything you say is gonna be water off a duck...
Save what is left of your dignity and just say nothing except 'goodbye'.
 
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Pierce

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Just say see ya wit a smile. Don't give no damn speech. Have sum pride
 
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boomerick

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The fact that you took the time to think this whole scheme up for her will tell her that you are still messed up about her. This kind of defeats the whole purpose of the 'I'm over you' speech. If it were me I'd box up her stuff, stack it right in front of the entrance way, and when she comes over, if I had to be there I'd be civil, let her in etc, then I'd watch tv or something like she's not even there. No big deal. If I thought I could trust her not to be a psyco I wouldn't bother to be there. I'd leave a note saying 'send me the key in the mail when you can'. Then I'd change the locks anyway and it's done. Thats what I'd do.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Ease

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The best way to tell her you dont need her, is to smile and say goodbye.

Saying less is more. Saying nothing is the most.

No emotion, just smile. Then go replace her.
 
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jophil28

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boomerick said:
The fact that you took the time to think this whole scheme up for her will tell her that you are still messed up about her. This kind of defeats the whole purpose of the 'I'm over you' speech.
Click to expand...
Indeed that is true.

Paradoxically, the most effective way to tell a woman that you are over her is NOT to tell her that you are "over her".
Furthermore, even if you find yourself rehearsing your 'polished silence' then you are not truly over her at all.

(Toby, your 'speech' was cringeworthy...tear it up, flush it, and do what Clint Eastwood would do. )
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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