"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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how to end a relationship

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iliketennis

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girl i saw for about a month and a half. when we first met she had a boyfriend, they broke up and I thought we'd be together. I was wrong but it was some fun times... tomorrow when she comes to get her stuff this is what i'm gonna say in person, more or less. lemme know what you think. anything i should add or take out. i'm good at speeches :)

_____________________

Well it was a lot of fun. I was probably too dramatic when you ended things with me. I mean, in a few weeks you'll be another girl I've dated. I guess it's that you were cute and in law school, and I'd been waiting for that...and I thought that was a big deal at the time. Oh, and you were a girl in law school who knew how to act in bed, haha. I got addicted to that...I hope we can stay in touch.

You made me realize that I need to be thinking bigger. It'd be silly for me to stay in in this town over some girl who may not feel the same next week! I have great opportunities in D.C. and Atlanta that I'm going to look into now. And you were right a few weeks ago when you said if we stayed together we might get resentful... I've always felt really sorry for your boyfriend but I never wanted to tell you. I think what you did to him is terrible but I was too selfish to say anything.

I'm gonna be a better person because of you and I wanted to say thanks. After you ended things with me, I finally beat Tim in tennis, too :). First time ever after three months of playing... thanks again
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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scribblec

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its just all wrong. im no expert but thats a **** way to end a relationship sounds like ur groveling
 
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iliketennis

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no it's letting her know i'm better off without her. i'm not asking for anything.. what makes you think i am?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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scribblec

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tobylikestennis said:
girl i saw for about a month and a half. when we first met she had a boyfriend, they broke up and I thought we'd be together. I was wrong but it was some fun times... tomorrow when she comes to get her stuff this is what i'm gonna say in person, more or less. lemme know what you think. anything i should add or take out. i'm good at speeches :)

_____________________

Well it was a lot of fun. I was probably too dramatic when you ended things with me. I mean, in a few weeks you'll be another girl I've dated. I guess it's that you were cute and in law school, and I'd been waiting for that...and I thought that was a big deal at the time. Oh, and you were a girl in law school who knew how to act in bed, haha. I got addicted to that...I hope we can stay in touch.

You made me realize that I need to be thinking bigger. It'd be silly for me to stay in in this town over some girl who may not feel the same next week! I have great opportunities in D.C. and Atlanta that I'm going to look into now. And you were right a few weeks ago when you said if we stayed together we might get resentful... I've always felt really sorry for your boyfriend but I never wanted to tell you. I think what you did to him is terrible but I was too selfish to say anything.

I'm gonna be a better person because of you and I wanted to say thanks. After you ended things with me, I finally beat Tim in tennis, too :). First time ever after three months of playing... thanks again
Click to expand...
bolc
 
I

iliketennis

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yeah i'm telling her i pretty much just wanted her for sex and that i have more confidence on the tennis court without her...

how else would that be interpreted?
 
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jophil28

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Toby, if she was the one who dumped you, then she could care less about how you feel, and anything you say is gonna be water off a duck...
Save what is left of your dignity and just say nothing except 'goodbye'.
 
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Pierce

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Just say see ya wit a smile. Don't give no damn speech. Have sum pride
 
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boomerick

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The fact that you took the time to think this whole scheme up for her will tell her that you are still messed up about her. This kind of defeats the whole purpose of the 'I'm over you' speech. If it were me I'd box up her stuff, stack it right in front of the entrance way, and when she comes over, if I had to be there I'd be civil, let her in etc, then I'd watch tv or something like she's not even there. No big deal. If I thought I could trust her not to be a psyco I wouldn't bother to be there. I'd leave a note saying 'send me the key in the mail when you can'. Then I'd change the locks anyway and it's done. Thats what I'd do.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Ease

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The best way to tell her you dont need her, is to smile and say goodbye.

Saying less is more. Saying nothing is the most.

No emotion, just smile. Then go replace her.
 
J

jophil28

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boomerick said:
The fact that you took the time to think this whole scheme up for her will tell her that you are still messed up about her. This kind of defeats the whole purpose of the 'I'm over you' speech.
Click to expand...
Indeed that is true.

Paradoxically, the most effective way to tell a woman that you are over her is NOT to tell her that you are "over her".
Furthermore, even if you find yourself rehearsing your 'polished silence' then you are not truly over her at all.

(Toby, your 'speech' was cringeworthy...tear it up, flush it, and do what Clint Eastwood would do. )
 
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