"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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how to end a relationship

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iliketennis

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girl i saw for about a month and a half. when we first met she had a boyfriend, they broke up and I thought we'd be together. I was wrong but it was some fun times... tomorrow when she comes to get her stuff this is what i'm gonna say in person, more or less. lemme know what you think. anything i should add or take out. i'm good at speeches :)

_____________________

Well it was a lot of fun. I was probably too dramatic when you ended things with me. I mean, in a few weeks you'll be another girl I've dated. I guess it's that you were cute and in law school, and I'd been waiting for that...and I thought that was a big deal at the time. Oh, and you were a girl in law school who knew how to act in bed, haha. I got addicted to that...I hope we can stay in touch.

You made me realize that I need to be thinking bigger. It'd be silly for me to stay in in this town over some girl who may not feel the same next week! I have great opportunities in D.C. and Atlanta that I'm going to look into now. And you were right a few weeks ago when you said if we stayed together we might get resentful... I've always felt really sorry for your boyfriend but I never wanted to tell you. I think what you did to him is terrible but I was too selfish to say anything.

I'm gonna be a better person because of you and I wanted to say thanks. After you ended things with me, I finally beat Tim in tennis, too :). First time ever after three months of playing... thanks again
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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scribblec

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its just all wrong. im no expert but thats a **** way to end a relationship sounds like ur groveling
 
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iliketennis

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no it's letting her know i'm better off without her. i'm not asking for anything.. what makes you think i am?
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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scribblec

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tobylikestennis said:
girl i saw for about a month and a half. when we first met she had a boyfriend, they broke up and I thought we'd be together. I was wrong but it was some fun times... tomorrow when she comes to get her stuff this is what i'm gonna say in person, more or less. lemme know what you think. anything i should add or take out. i'm good at speeches :)

_____________________

Well it was a lot of fun. I was probably too dramatic when you ended things with me. I mean, in a few weeks you'll be another girl I've dated. I guess it's that you were cute and in law school, and I'd been waiting for that...and I thought that was a big deal at the time. Oh, and you were a girl in law school who knew how to act in bed, haha. I got addicted to that...I hope we can stay in touch.

You made me realize that I need to be thinking bigger. It'd be silly for me to stay in in this town over some girl who may not feel the same next week! I have great opportunities in D.C. and Atlanta that I'm going to look into now. And you were right a few weeks ago when you said if we stayed together we might get resentful... I've always felt really sorry for your boyfriend but I never wanted to tell you. I think what you did to him is terrible but I was too selfish to say anything.

I'm gonna be a better person because of you and I wanted to say thanks. After you ended things with me, I finally beat Tim in tennis, too :). First time ever after three months of playing... thanks again
Click to expand...
bolc
 
I

iliketennis

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yeah i'm telling her i pretty much just wanted her for sex and that i have more confidence on the tennis court without her...

how else would that be interpreted?
 
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jophil28

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Toby, if she was the one who dumped you, then she could care less about how you feel, and anything you say is gonna be water off a duck...
Save what is left of your dignity and just say nothing except 'goodbye'.
 
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Pierce

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Just say see ya wit a smile. Don't give no damn speech. Have sum pride
 
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boomerick

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The fact that you took the time to think this whole scheme up for her will tell her that you are still messed up about her. This kind of defeats the whole purpose of the 'I'm over you' speech. If it were me I'd box up her stuff, stack it right in front of the entrance way, and when she comes over, if I had to be there I'd be civil, let her in etc, then I'd watch tv or something like she's not even there. No big deal. If I thought I could trust her not to be a psyco I wouldn't bother to be there. I'd leave a note saying 'send me the key in the mail when you can'. Then I'd change the locks anyway and it's done. Thats what I'd do.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Ease

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The best way to tell her you dont need her, is to smile and say goodbye.

Saying less is more. Saying nothing is the most.

No emotion, just smile. Then go replace her.
 
J

jophil28

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boomerick said:
The fact that you took the time to think this whole scheme up for her will tell her that you are still messed up about her. This kind of defeats the whole purpose of the 'I'm over you' speech.
Click to expand...
Indeed that is true.

Paradoxically, the most effective way to tell a woman that you are over her is NOT to tell her that you are "over her".
Furthermore, even if you find yourself rehearsing your 'polished silence' then you are not truly over her at all.

(Toby, your 'speech' was cringeworthy...tear it up, flush it, and do what Clint Eastwood would do. )
 
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