"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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How to destroy my nervousness

antidonjuan

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Next week is school counsil election week and I need to have a speech in front of all the students in my school.

In normal classes, since it's small I have no anxiety speaking in front of the class at all. But when it comes down to speaking to the whole school, my hands shake and my heart pumps up like crazy. This is the like the first public speaking and I am damn hell nervous even right now.

How should I destroy this anxiety during and before the actual speech?


antidonjuan -------- donjuan
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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The Bat

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Choke the chicken...

Seriously, practice it in front of a mirror. Record yourself and then watch it over and over until you are desensitized.

Sometimes with a tough crowd, I like to pick out a few audience members who are attentive, friendly, and happy. I completely focus all of my attention and energy on them until I'm desensitized enough to focus on the rest. Try that. That trick has worked wonders for many people.

And don't picture them naked or something stupid. The worst it will do is it won't work and make you lose your composure.

And remember, if your speech is powerful, nobody will care how you look or talk or walk, etc.
 

Desert Fox

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I have been in your position and honestly, I thought I'd be nervous but didn't really dwell on it. I'm not great public orator if you saw me on the street, but when the time comes THE WORDS JUST FLOW.

Anyways, when you're on stage mostly I saw PITCH BLACK and maybe some people in the few first rows because the goddamn LIGHTS are beating on your head hahaha and the contrast makes everything look pitch black...well not pitch black but you can't make out people's faces at all. Might have to do w/my bad vision haha, but whatever.

What helps me is I picture myself as a ****in CEO or something out there to make a speech because these people just gave me a big ass prize and I'm there to accept it by giving a little speech to show that yes, I accept all this ****in money.

If you have a God complex, on stage is the time to turn it on. Don't worry man, and guess what, I've ****ed up big time on stage before...I introduced the wrong guy to speak when it was supposed to be the principal.

I forgot about that incident and honestly I don't even remember because it HAPPENED SO FAST. But after the speech my buddies who are used to be being the quiet guy were like "dude you smoothed over that really well. I was shocked...I thought you'd lose it or something."

I basically said, "Now ladies sand gentleman here is Mr. XXXXXX. - I start walking to my chair and I look over to see confused faces on stage. I walk back - Actually, my mistake The principal will now give his regards. -clap clap clap."

No sweat you're gonna be fine man :)
 

antidonjuan

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I'm planning to throw jokes at the audience, but alot of them don't even know me, will they get the joke and laugh? If I don't make them laugh, I would make myself look stupid, right? The speech has to be less than 1 minute



antidonjuan-----------------donjuan
 

TheEdgeOf

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dude. wtf? seriously. I didn't know people still had trouble with public speaking.

If you really want to get over public speaking or if you're just shy in general, then there's one very simple thing you can do to fix that problem. It's a one time thing that will fix this problem for the rest of your life;

Embarrass yourself in front of a bunch of people. Go ahead, don't be a wuss, it's not as bad as you think. It's actually pretty fun. Once you embarrass yourself in front of other people, public speaking will not make you nervous at all.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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theunflushables

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Take a shot of the liquid courage before hand. Loosens you up.
 

Desert Fox

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You need to get used to it man. Use jokes if you want but #1 is BE CONFIDENT.

Be so goddamn confident on stage. If you're not they will not vote for you.
 

antidonjuan

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How do I express my body language on the stage? When I talk, should my eyes be glancing everyone to the audience and move my hands?




antidonjuan----------donjuan
 

theunflushables

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Look straight ahead. Bang on the pulpit with your fists. Wave your arms in the air. Talk about destroying the schools enemies. lol
 

antidonjuan

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tweeked... no one is gonna be that crazy for me... banging on the pulpit, what affect does that make??



antidonjuan-------------donjuan
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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MooseGod

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Pretend you're Bill Clinton. Or a news anchor. Pretend you flew in on a Learjet and you've got more white girls backstage than the first lifeboat on the Titanic.

In other words, get out of your own head. Be focused on your message instead of worrying about yourself so much.
 

jt the azn

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appraoch a lot of sets until then. pickup is just like public speaking
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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