"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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how to deal with this?

derby1

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But what @deesade means is you dont actually tell people to **** off, .

Cause I can actually see you texting that Ryan.

You show them with your actions , if they text after 6pm you reply mid morning after etc etc
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Ryan Adams

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I gotta it man like I said I come on here to vent because if not I'd be way worse lol. I did some thinking I'm not even gonna reach out to her. I mean I know she likes me when were drunk at a bar she acts like she is in love with me. but afterwords I get not much of anything. I mean she will text me but its nothing to go off of just kinda messes with my head.
 

derby1

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Mate you do exactly what I said and you word it exactly like I said no kisses no hi babe no good morning good night faggot ****,

No good saying "I'm gonna drop this chick"

Because as soon as she contacts ya, your mind will go into desperation mode , we all know you ain't gonna drop this chick

However if you start listening to the advice and words ive took the time to assist you with and others have, theres a high possibly you can reattract her and some power...then bang

Or you can keep doing it your cherry picking way
 

Ryan Adams

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I know I know. just declined an invitation to a bar she's at so thats a step...
 

derby1

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Good so shes messaged counter offer her tomm about 3pm

"Couldn't make last night had other plans, how about me and you go out X day X time to X place (your idea the place not hers)"

Anything other than "great" ....ignore no reply no time to **** about
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Ryan Adams

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I just declined the offer. it wasn't even directed towards only me it was in the group chat and at me and my buddy tommy. I just didn't respond.
 

derby1

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OK remain nc till you hear from her direct and reread the last 20 comments in this thread and keep rereading them

I think we've covered every scenario, what to do and what not to do

If ive told you a text word the text exactly how ive put, theres reasons for this

I personally wouldn't be in a group chat its an orbiter move not a chairman of the board move
 

Ryan Adams

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yeah I was added against my will I had nothing to do with it lol
 

Ryan Adams

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ok she reached out to me and sent me a pic of her wearing my hat and said umm excuse me are you missing something. I said "not gonna lie you look good in my hat. any chance chance I'm gonna get it anytime this week" she said I will def get your hat to you this week. i said ok meet me somewhere were gonna get food then you can give it to me then. she said "just let me know what your up to during this week. I work during the day and my bday is Wednesday" " I said you let me know what your up to this week I work from 7-5 etc. then small chit chat about her bday plans. so it's I mean a small step forward I feel like.
 

derby1

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thats good leave it a day text her tomm and make deffo plans that are your idea DONT ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO, apart from obviously being courteous over time and day etc.........

also keep texts to 5 text max and clarify its just you and her!! anything else you say "maybe another time, keep in touch"
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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marmel75

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Why are you rewarding this chick with food? Unless you are making her pay for it.
 

Ryan Adams

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im not planning on paying for her... she said to let her know what I'm up to this week. I told her how about you let ME know what your up to this week. she said I work during the day and my birthday is Wednesday.we made small chat about her bday plans and convo was done
 

QuadDeuces

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Don't chase those hoes, unless you want to become a low value beta orbiter.
You ask her once if she wants to come to your place to Netflix and Chill, tell her to bring the weed.
She declines, makes excuses, flakes, whatever.
You do nothing, you ghost, you forget about her.
You don't lecture her, you don't chase, you don't block her on social media, you do nothing but smile to yourself and she never hears from you again.
If she comes back a month later with a counter offer fine, if she doesn't also fine.

Spin plates, all the time.
 

Roober

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Work on yourself, and you won't need to ask silly questions like this...

After being here over a year, you should have the answer to this already...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Ryan Adams

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ok update: she invited me to her bday and I went. at this point I don't care I went because I was bored and I had nothing to do. we talked etc etc nothing crazy then when she got more and more drunk she kept wanting to be near me I could tell. she was intentionally touching me etc. I don't even give 2 fvkz any more but goddamn when she's drunk she is all up in my space. it's a mind fvck she naturally had a flirty personality but when she's drunk her attention is directed towards me at all times.
 

ohrein

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This girl is into you. Just man up and escalate! ****, it's not that hard. She's gonna think you're not interested in about two weeks ago. You're gonna drop the ball on this one. Ask her out or isolate and kiss her. Forget texting game and what to do, be clear and direct. "Come hang out". When you hang out with her, kiss her immediately! Done deal.
 

Ryan Adams

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we've kissed before drunk.... I've mentioned food and she has never said no but never said yes either. I feel like she is playing the same game I am...holding back waiting to see if I text first etc... her friend is a huge thorn in my side also massive cvckblock. like I said this chick is a bar girl but I feel like her flirting is very harmless with everyone like she just has a very cutesy girly innocent personality. she was an ugly girl a few years ago I saw some old pics lol. so her personality is very innocent in a way. when I saw her last night I treated her like my little sister teased her talked to other Chicks in front of her. then after she had a few shots in her she had to sit right next to me basically touching me. if I stood up she stood up when I said I'm quitting drinking for a weeks she said she was doing the same thing even though I know she wasnt...i just for the life of me can't get her alone her and her friend are inseparable. I know this is a long and lame post but I gotta vent on here.
 

ohrein

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we've kissed before drunk.... I've mentioned food and she has never said no but never said yes either. I feel like she is playing the same game I am...holding back waiting to see if I text first etc... her friend is a huge thorn in my side also massive cvckblock. like I said this chick is a bar girl but I feel like her flirting is very harmless with everyone like she just has a very cutesy girly innocent personality. she was an ugly girl a few years ago I saw some old pics lol. so her personality is very innocent in a way. when I saw her last night I treated her like my little sister teased her talked to other Chicks in front of her. then after she had a few shots in her she had to sit right next to me basically touching me. if I stood up she stood up when I said I'm quitting drinking for a weeks she said she was doing the same thing even though I know she wasnt...i just for the life of me can't get her alone her and her friend are inseparable. I know this is a long and lame post but I gotta vent on here.
I don't understand how hard it is to get her contact details and ask to see her away from the friend....
 

marmel75

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I don't understand how hard it is to get her contact details and ask to see her away from the friend....
Really hard because she doesnt want that
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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