You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Yes, with no respect, there is no love.Have I done the right thing letting her go??
I,m full doubts, but i don't understand why
Man i feel i wasted so much of my life here.. my biggest problem with her is, when she does fuk up, there is never an apology afterwards.. this makes me very angry.Yes, with no respect, there is no love.
You've invested enough time already, better to cut your losses.Man i feel i wasted so much of my life here.. my biggest problem with her is, when she does fuk up, there is never an apology afterwards.. this makes me very angry.
She has made some lame excuses of how she misses, her house back in her city, thats why she finds it difficult to live with me..
Then why the hell move in with me.. I keep kidding myself into believing if try to communicate better, it could work out.. but it never does..
I can't change who she is.. i just need to accept she is not good for or right for me.. i certainly cannot depend on this relationship with her
Yes. Nothing productive has ever come out of your encounters with her.Have I done the right thing letting her go??
I,m full doubts, but i don't understand why
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
That's because she WAS fine about it and wanted to leave.This morning I told her it is over.. and she needs to leave.. she seemed fine about it, and seems like she wanted to leave anyway.
I agree with you.. she wanted to leave, but here is the thing.. I wanted her to leave too.. i was sick of all the BS the disrespect, the fallouts every other month..That's because she WAS fine about it and wanted to leave.
When a woman wants out of a relationship but doesn't want to do the breakup herself. She will manufacture a fight to push you to do it. That way, she appears blameless in the whole thing.
For a codependent like yourself, you are a prime target. Not only because she can manipulate you easily but with a fickle mind like yours, you will constantly second guess your choice which will have you crawling back to her again. It's a vicious cycle. One that can be easily broken if you just take the advice given to you.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
If you try to communicate and the woman is bad at it or shuts down, thats a big sign that she isn't ready to grow up = next!
Hopefully "pack your chit and leave," are the last words you ever speak to her. That is all she deserves.The last couple of weeks I was serious about asking her to leave.. she told me this morning she wanted to go home, I told her straight that is totally fine, i don't want her here any longer either..
She wanted a long goodbye BS so told her no need for that, pack your chit and leave
Well i have blocked her on whatsapp, got a couple of text off her today.. just ignored them, didn't even bother readingHopefully "pack your chit and leave," are the last words you ever speak to her. That is all she deserves.
Man sorry you have to go through this. I'm sure this time you mean it. It really was a waste and a drain on your life.Well i have blocked her on whatsapp, got a couple of text off her today.. just ignored them, didn't even bother reading
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Man sorry you have to go through this. I'm sure this time you mean it. It really was a waste and a drain on your life.
Thanks man.. here is the thing, every couple or LTR has occasional arguments.. but when it comes to disrespect, I can't let her get away with that..Man sorry you have to go through this. I'm sure this time you mean it. It really was a waste and a drain on your life.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.