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How to deal with getting old?

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Its weird because alot of days ill look in the mirror and I dont even know who I am or why I am here? Whats the purpose of all of this if we are all gonna be dead one day. I totally understand why all of you promote lifting weights and improving yourselves because I have done all that in my 20s and 30s but now im looking at the big picture and im realizing theres no future for all of us. Even the most strongest bodybuilders and people that lifted weights when I was a kid are all mostly hunched over and looking terrible now. One bad thing about getting older is theres never anybody to tell you everything will be ok like when your a kid. You realize nobody has the answers to the big questions in life. This life is one huge mystery.
 
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I'm the same age, but I've never given it a single thought to be honest. The problem isn't your age, but your insecurity about it and your negative, disempowering mindset.

I'm of the firm belief I'm getting better and better with age, and still feel like I'm in my 20s. I'm still relentlessly pursuing my goals and passions in life, and still approach girls much younger than me (direct and in person... absolutely NO dating sites or apps). I'm very much in my prime....in fact it may still be yet to come, and I definitely haven't peaked yet.

Change your mindset, OP. What you believe becomes your reality. Don't even think about age, just live your life to the full and don't give it a thought. Age is merely a number, end of.
I couldnt agree more with you that what you believe becomes your reality. Great point
 

EyeOnThePrize

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You make a great point about not knowing what is beyond my senses but how can we experience life without a body and there is zero proof of a soul throughout human history.
You or I or even the collective human consciousness does not have the capacity to understand this universe completely, or even come close. That is, the universe is more complex and weird than you can possibly imagine. With big questions like other life in the universe, souls, etc, it's extremely naive to think because we don't have a record that it must not exist. We don't even have a reliable way to save records. Most human knowledge has been lost through the ages. For anything over a couple thousand years old we only have what little was passed down through spoken language and stone tablets.

You are the culmination of a multi-million year evolutionary project. Your brain is the most efficient and powerful parallel computer on the planet, and we hardly understand it. You have a cat's brain worth of neurons in your stomach. There are many documented effects that show you can't stop sensing an illusion, even if you know it's an illusion(such as the McGurk effect). There is iron at the center of every one of your blood cells, which carries oxygen to every inch of your body with every breath. The only way iron forms in the universe is through supernovas. You are quite literally a walking marvel, and you think too little of yourself. You are the most adaptable animal in existence.

It's an absolute privilege to be a part of this experience, whether it's the only thing there is or not. The only limitation in this life is your imagination. Mental energy can transform/move instantly, or it can take a lifetime. That's why some people can have a life altering experience and change overnight, while others struggle with their dramas to their death.

I believe many people are too scared to accept how much power they really have in this life, so they make up dramas in their mind of limitations, then cling to believing those dramas out of fear or shame. They have a hard time grasping how much influence they have, over themselves and their environment.

Mentality is a self fulfilling prophecy. Mental stress can induce ulcers or orgasms, and it's entirely in your control. The first step to achieving anything is holding the belief that it's possible, and everything else falls into place. Death is inevitable, but you're free to act as if you're 20 until it comes. Focus on what's in your control.

Trust completely in your ability to overcome obstacles. Trust completely in your ability to self love. Bask in that feeling of trust. That trust is a keystone to your uninhibited creativity manifesting in this life.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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Its weird because alot of days ill look in the mirror and I dont even know who I am or why I am here? Whats the purpose of all of this if we are all gonna be dead one day. I totally understand why all of you promote lifting weights and improving yourselves because I have done all that in my 20s and 30s but now im looking at the big picture and im realizing theres no future for all of us. Even the most strongest bodybuilders and people that lifted weights when I was a kid are all mostly hunched over and looking terrible now. One bad thing about getting older is theres never anybody to tell you everything will be ok like when your a kid. You realize nobody has the answers to the big questions in life. This life is one huge mystery.
You can train for longevity, something most bodybuilders don't do. There are 90+ y/o men that can deadlift 400+ pounds. There are 90+ y/o men that are more flexible than small children. Some of the oldest living people smoke a cigar every day. You're actively trying to convince yourself of this narrative of doom and gloom, ask yourself why. You underestimate the infinite array of experiences available to you, and to break the spell all you have to do is explore and try.

Your purpose is to simply experience and grow. In which direction you grow and how you feel about it, is completely up to you. Rejoice in the infinite options and the keen senses you're blessed with to experience it all. Whatever you continually think plays the largest part in your world. This world is too vast and too much fun to sit around actively frustrating yourself. In fact you can see death like the vikings did, as valhalla, something glorious. You can choose to see every mistake, every misstep, as a direction, and rejoice in the ability to recognize these as insights. You can choose to identify with nothing, or everything.

The point is it all starts with you. I can describe the door, show it to you, but ultimately you must be the one to walk through it, there is no other way.
 

oc16

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Come on man, 40 ain't bad at all. Don't let yourself become fat is the best advice.

Women don't get turned off by some gray hairs or crows feet. It actually helps you look distinguished.

Remember female attraction does not work the same. Yes, men are turned off by wrinkles and gray hair in women since "youth" is our main trigger to be attracted to females.
 

Grinderman

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They told me that you can have the best body but our faces get old so I figure theres no point in working out anymore.
Exercise is a great way to combat anxiety and depression, give you a more positive outlook and put a spring back in your step.....
many ways to exercise, you don't have to be a bodybuilder...............cardio and bodyweight exercises, take up a martial art (you are socializing / mixing with other men at same time). It's not all about looking in the mirror. Exercise makes you feel better mentally and physically....NOW.........which is basically all we have.

Its weird because alot of days ill look in the mirror and I dont even know who I am or why I am here?
There's your adventure right there.....go and figure it out and enjoy the process.

Whats the purpose of all of this if we are all gonna be dead one day.
This is some nihilistic thinking. This a great excuse / get out clause to not fully take part in life. Would you prefer to live forever? There would be no urgency to do anything!

Understand there are kids in hospitals with cancer right now.............you got to show appreciation for what you have right now......no matter how harsh or cruel life may seem / is. Life is full of suffering, this can't be denied, but there is also joy to be found and beauty all around.

Allan Watts talks about never losing your sense of wonder.....we are still part of some strange mystery on a rock spinning around the universe......
 

OldComeBacker

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younger women will expect that you have NO problems and are able to lead them. younger guys can get away with floating around.
This has been my observation. I have felt zero disadvantage due to my looks. In fact, I have less gray and fewer wrinkles and better physique than a lot of guys 10 years younger. Women mostly are skeptical of other "baggage" that comes with age. For example, going through a divorce left me at a low point starting over. A 25 year-old woman may be turned off by the pitfalls that come with that but she'll date an aimless 21 year-old dude or whatever. Even if I'm more physically attractive. If you are 40-50 and have your stuff together and basically just look like you haven't given up on life like most older guys (graying, thinning, wrinkles, normal aging is whatever, but don't be some slob with ****ie-do disease), you should have a lot of opportunities.
 

MoMoses

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Hi,
I just turned 40 about a month ago. I did extremely well with women in my 20s all the way up to age 39. I have noticed for the past year that I fail alot more at getting womens numbers then when I used to. People in public refer to me as "sir" now which makes me feel really old. Is there any point in working out or doing activities anymore if people are gonna look at me as an old man? Even if you workout at this age, you are still gonna have an old face. Its depressing to say the least. Are there any guys on this forum that are in there 40s and beyond that are actually getting women in there 20s and lower 30s without having to pay for it? I feel like I cant reverse this. I feel like it was just yesterday when I was in my 20s and now im 40. Time is going by so fast and its scaring me. Any advice guys?
I turned 40 a few of months ago and my story's completely different.

I struggled with women when I was in my 20s. I wasn't ugly and girls liked me as a friend (well wasn't that sweet of them?). I had no game, no balls and was more of a "fisher" rather then a "hunter". I slept with 4 women in 10 years with a dry spell between 2005 and 2008. Let that sink in for a minute.

Then I turned 30 and I got rejected by a girl I was really into. That same day I saw an ad on the Internet about a guy who claimed he could help men like me. I figured, why not give it a try.. That was day 1 as far as I'm concerned. I didn't even know I was blue pilled until then. I read lots of books (Corey Wayne, Dan Bacon, Robert Glover, etc) and started to see where I went wrong and what I had to do. I'm no natural. I had to learn this shiit.

The first few years I was still afraid to approach women, but there was this new thing called Tinder and boy did I learn how to use that one. At one point I was going into a shop with a tinder date and behind the counter there was another tinder match working.. that was awkward. Later we went to a bar and the waitress turned out to be yet another Tinder match (never went on a date with her though). I felt like Joey in Friends when he thought he slept with all the girls in New York. It became really awkward when I matched with a girl and one of her pictures was her with her two girlfriends.. I had matched with all three of them in the course of a year.

Tinder Dates helped me build up my confidence and as I grew older I started to rely on that app less and less, especially because the hot 23 yo's weren't swiping 34 yo's anymore. That was a pity. I even went as far as to lie about my age on the app. That was a new low. I started approaching girls and I learned that this was way better than Tinder. Girls that would have never swiped me to the right now gave me their number and went on dates with me.

I'm 40 now, although most girls still guess me to be 37-38. Never felt better and I noticed an odd thing. Young girls (as young as 18 ) flirt with me, but so do 45 yo's. There's a broader spectrum then when I was 30 yo. I go to the gym and this keeps me in shape. It's more natural to lead now then when I was younger and that's attractive. People take me serious when I speak up and that wasn't the case when I was 29 (granted, I had no confidence at that age, this isn't the case with most 29 yo's).

I'm still learning every day, so for me.. no, I don't feel getting older is a problem. We'll see in a few years, but my grey hair is suddenly attractive and when I was 28 I was a freak because I had grey hair, or at least I felt like a freak because of it. Which 28 yo has grey hair?? It was terrible.
 

MoMoses

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Please stop biatching about this.

A 90-year-old man thinks you're young.
Funny you'd say this. Last week I was talking to a 92 yo woman down the street and when she asked how old I was she replied.. "40? Oh sweetie you're still so young. You're in your best years. Remember that."

I had to think about that comment for the entire day because I don't feel young (nor old).. and sometimes I think I wasted my best years (25-29).

Life goes way too fast and the realisation of this is what drives me to do things I wouldn't have dared to do when I was younger. At 25 you think you still have time to do everything. There's no pressure. Turns out I needed that pressure to make things happen (women, career, health).

This is a great topic. Glad I stumbled upon this one
 

samspade

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Are there any guys on this forum that are in there 40s and beyond that are actually getting women in there 20s and lower 30s without having to pay for it?
If that's all you're worried about...yes of course. Since I turned 40 dated almost exclusively girls in their 20s, some early 30s. In fact, I spend very little "dating" time with women in my age bracket.

The point of improving yourself, even though death stalks us all, is for the sheer enjoyment of it. Why do I read a book, or watch a film, or lift weights? I like it - I like the process, the moment, and I like the results. A better me. Of course, one day I'll die. What will happen with all that stored memory and knowledge? I don't know. But I'm going to enjoy it while I'm here. I imagine everything I learn and experience gets sent back out into the universe, somehow.

As for career changes, if it's what you truly desire, go for it. No point in idling your time unsatisfied. At 42 I quit my job and went back to school in another country. I'm living better than I could have dreamed because I followed my heart. You just have to assess whether you're pursuing what you want, or just change for change's sake.

Of course, there are some adjustments to make. It's harder for me to burn body fat or build muscle. Still, I persist. On the other hand, I have so much experience with women that they're like child's play to me. My 25 year old self would be impressed.

If you're having an existential crisis, think about all the humanity that's been wasted. Babies stillborn, children dying of cancer. Teens committing suicide or dying in car wrecks. You don't think they'd trade places with you? Imagine just one ship sailing the Mediterranean in the year 1450. You think the oar-rowers got paid? They were harvested, worked like dogs, tossed overboard, and replaced. Now multiply that ship by 100,000 and you'll have maybe some idea of the lives that have gone to waste over the centuries, or at least never got the chance to mull whether to study engineering or bang a 20 year old.

There's a Bob Dylan song called "My Back Pages" where he sings, "I was so much older then / I'm younger than that now." It rings true for me, I take things way less seriously than I used to. Youth is often wasted on the young, remember that.
 

Billtx49

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There's a Bob Dylan song called "My Back Pages" where he sings, "I was so much older then / I'm younger than that now." It rings true for me, I take things way less seriously than I used to. Youth is often wasted on the young, remember that.
I completely agree, a man deals with his body’s increasing age by continuing to think young, but carrying his gained knowledge with him to refine that continued youthful thinking.
As you think, so shall you become ~ written by someone very intelligent, but remembered by Billtx
 

King Lion

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There are a lot of great thoughts being shared in this thread.

So try to deal with aging the way a man should deal with everything in life - By doing the best that he can!

Be your best self and the females that can appreciate the man you are - Will - Regardless of age - Yours or theirs!
 

oc16

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I'm not sure if any of you know who "Jack O'Shea is from the "O'Shea Brothers". He is basically an Instagram/Facebook comedian who I follow. The main reason I follow him is that his girlfriend (Mikaela Pascal) in his skits (and in real life) is an absolute smokeshow. She is a ten hands down.

My point? I just found out she is around 21 and he is perhaps 45 to 46.

The guy isn't super handsome either, but he IS IN SHAPE. You can't say "well he is famous"! No, not really, he has a small online presence.

It's all about being fit for your age!
 

AureliusMaximus

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Stop complaining. Get in the gym. Being fit makes you look more attractive. Get a good haircut. Get nice clothes. You'll be able to bang down to 30 years no problem.
Exacly! I could not have said it better myself.

Get your game face on dude and stop whining. Hit the gym harder than you ever have before and you will see results. Chase your own exellence and not bi'tches. The rest will come as people notice the diffrence..
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Hi,
I just turned 40 about a month ago. I did extremely well with women in my 20s all the way up to age 39. I have noticed for the past year that I fail alot more at getting womens numbers then when I used to. People in public refer to me as "sir" now which makes me feel really old. Is there any point in working out or doing activities anymore if people are gonna look at me as an old man? Even if you workout at this age, you are still gonna have an old face. Its depressing to say the least. Are there any guys on this forum that are in there 40s and beyond that are actually getting women in there 20s and lower 30s without having to pay for it? I feel like I cant reverse this. I feel like it was just yesterday when I was in my 20s and now im 40. Time is going by so fast and its scaring me. Any advice guys?
Max mate, it's in your head. Jlaix made a vlog on getting old. The sec he thoughthe he was too old, game was rubbish. Women are ego maniacs and a lot are bigger *****s then what we found repulsive in our teens or early 20s.

What to do? Lift. Approach irl. Swipe. Keep testosterone level up. Diet. Befriend playboy and players. Before pandemic rsd free tour inner circle was great.

Aaron Clarey has a gf but at 40 says he wouldn't pursue 20 somethinga the gunpoint. Not me. Not forty but closer then 18. Stay hungry. Ie not McGregor coming off a yaght before a mega fight. You must grind harder. Go ham lifting. Clean up haircut. Style.

Find younger hungry up in comers. It's cyclical. No reason why you can't pull late 20s but late 20s is high risk m
 

AureliusMaximus

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I'm 46 and still do pretty well for myself. At 40 I was killing it.
Ye, I agrre.
"Old" is more state of mind than a reality. if you take good care of yourself then it not bigger deal. Loads of chicks want a more seasoned dude than 22-26 year old that has not got his sh'it straight yet. Actually they prefer it from my experience.


But if you think to yourself "I'm old now", then you're fu'cked because that will be your really. And as mentioned here before; if you have dad bod = you're fat AF, never hit the gym or rarely, have bad eating habits, have shi'tty clothing style, shi'tty lifestyle/friends, work that you hate etc. etc. then you really need to do something about it because nothing of that will get you into your game zone aka. reaching the full potential of you as a person.
You need to chase your own excellence and become "the greatest" as Muhammad Ali used to say.

Fun fact; Statistically you're still considered young until you hit 48 lmfao. ;):lol:;):cool:
 
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