"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How should I end it?

S

stuka1939

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I am 31 and already hung out with this 23 year old three times. I was not too attracted to her from the beginning, but she was decent and I figured maybe I could "hook up" with her.

The problem is, she lives at home and so do I. She is also not that type of girl (so it seems). This girl seems alot more into me than vice versa, which makes me uncomfortable (I would rather be the one getting dumped).

I am supposed to go to this bar with her tomorrow night and will probably still go.

Should I end it on myspace, in person (tomorrow night) ignore her calls, or end it on the phone?

I kind of feel ignoring her and the myspace thing is the cowards way out...but I have only been out with her a few times.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Phyzzle

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stuka1939 said:
She is also not that type of girl (so it seems).
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There's an easy out. Just start pushing her hard for more physical stuff. "Put out or I will have to move on." If she obliges, it's what you wanted anyways, right?
 
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stuka1939

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Phyzzle said:
There's an easy out. Just start pushing her hard for more physical stuff. "Put out or I will have to move on." If she obliges, it's what you wanted anyways, right?
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I couldn't do that, that is borderline coercion/sexual assault.
 
F

Faded Image

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What part of Jersey are you from?
 
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stuka1939

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Faded Image said:
What part of Jersey are you from?
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Central.

Too late, I told her on myspace It would be best to not see each other. I figure after only three dates, I don't OWE her a face to face talk or phonecall.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Chrispy

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It's too late to answer, but I bet if you acted AFC she'd have ended it by the 4th date :)
 
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