"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

How should I approach this situation?

Jifto

Don Juan
Joined
May 20, 2017
Messages
108
Reaction score
70
About 6 months ago I transferred divisions at work which resulted in a promotion / moving across the country (Seattle to Boston). Before I left there was a girl that I worked with that I always thought was really attractive and had a crush on. Right before I left I started noticing that she may be interested in me. I didn't act on it, mostly because she was much younger than I am.

Last week I was back in Seattle for work and ran into her. She seemed really happy to be seeing me and showing a ton of attention. Her good friend told me that she "likes you very, very much." Right before I left she texted me that "it would be fun to get drunk together at my house the next time you're in town", we've never hung out just the two of us before. I'm going back in 2 weeks. Am I over thinking this? Is it worth asking her out when I'm back out there?

I've started to develop a little bit of oneitis since she texted that, but I need to quell that somehow as this can obviously never go anywhere...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

jaymbrs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2017
Messages
1,966
Reaction score
1,969
Age
39
About 6 months ago I transferred divisions at work which resulted in a promotion / moving across the country (Seattle to Boston). Before I left there was a girl that I worked with that I always thought was really attractive and had a crush on. Right before I left I started noticing that she may be interested in me. I didn't act on it, mostly because she was much younger than I am.

Last week I was back in Seattle for work and ran into her. She seemed really happy to be seeing me and showing a ton of attention. Her good friend told me that she "likes you very, very much." Right before I left she texted me that "it would be fun to get drunk together at my house the next time you're in town", we've never hung out just the two of us before. I'm going back in 2 weeks. Am I over thinking this? Is it worth asking her out when I'm back out there?

I've started to develop a little bit of oneitis since she texted that, but I need to quell that somehow as this can obviously never go anywhere...
You're waaaay overthinking this. This girl just wants to smash. No girl asks you to come over to get drunk with her because she sees a longterm possibility. In fact it's the opposite, especially since you no longer live there, there will be no judgement from you and you both can move on and live your lives in your different cities.
 

Augustus_McCrae

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2012
Messages
907
Reaction score
1,020
About 6 months ago I transferred divisions at work which resulted in a promotion / moving across the country (Seattle to Boston). Before I left there was a girl that I worked with that I always thought was really attractive and had a crush on. Right before I left I started noticing that she may be interested in me. I didn't act on it, mostly because she was much younger than I am.

Last week I was back in Seattle for work and ran into her. She seemed really happy to be seeing me and showing a ton of attention. Her good friend told me that she "likes you very, very much." Right before I left she texted me that "it would be fun to get drunk together at my house the next time you're in town", we've never hung out just the two of us before. I'm going back in 2 weeks. Am I over thinking this? Is it worth asking her out when I'm back out there?

I've started to develop a little bit of oneitis since she texted that, but I need to quell that somehow as this can obviously never go anywhere...
Some red flags here:

Sounds like you still work at the same company. You’ve heard the old warning about sh***ing where you eat right?

With metoo, be careful of a work fling with a “much younger” woman.

With your promotion, could you potentially be viewed as her superior or someone who could influence her career? Again, you don’t want to face some metoo bullshiz allegation down the road if she turns on you.

-Augustus-
 

marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,175
Reaction score
5,571
About 6 months ago I transferred divisions at work which resulted in a promotion / moving across the country (Seattle to Boston). Before I left there was a girl that I worked with that I always thought was really attractive and had a crush on. Right before I left I started noticing that she may be interested in me. I didn't act on it, mostly because she was much younger than I am.

Last week I was back in Seattle for work and ran into her. She seemed really happy to be seeing me and showing a ton of attention. Her good friend told me that she "likes you very, very much." Right before I left she texted me that "it would be fun to get drunk together at my house the next time you're in town", we've never hung out just the two of us before. I'm going back in 2 weeks. Am I over thinking this? Is it worth asking her out when I'm back out there?

I've started to develop a little bit of oneitis since she texted that, but I need to quell that somehow as this can obviously never go anywhere...
Let me understand this...her best friend blatantly tells you she wants to fvck you and then the woman herself tells you she wants you to come over to her house and get drunk(plausible deniability) and you still haven't figured this out yet??

Now I see why so many guys have so much trouble getting laid here. Would you like her to hold up a big flashing sign that says "Please come fvck me!" instead?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Jifto

Don Juan
Joined
May 20, 2017
Messages
108
Reaction score
70
Let me understand this...her best friend blatantly tells you she wants to fvck you and then the woman herself tells you she wants you to come over to her house and get drunk(plausible deniability) and you still haven't figured this out yet??

Now I see why so many guys have so much trouble getting laid here. Would you like her to hold up a big flashing sign that says "Please come fvck me!" instead?
That's fair, but there's a couple of details that I should add because this would be more obvious otherwise:
  • She's got a stable of orbiters, not sure what she's telling those guys
  • Not her best friend, but a friend. Not sure she knows for sure or is just speculating
  • She's too good looking for me. I hate to say that, but its true. She's a dime.
To the comments about work / reporting chain. It's complicated, but it won't be a problem.
 

marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,175
Reaction score
5,571
That's fair, but there's a couple of details that I should add because this would be more obvious otherwise:
  • She's got a stable of orbiters, not sure what she's telling those guys
  • Not her best friend, but a friend. Not sure she knows for sure or is just speculating
  • She's too good looking for me. I hate to say that, but its true. She's a dime.
To the comments about work / reporting chain. It's complicated, but it won't be a problem.
The longer you are around and know someone the less looks matter and the more she will become attracted to other things about you. It's how these fat dudes end up with dimes from their social circle because they get to know them and find other things they like about them...

And dont ever think a woman is out of your league. There are no leagues.
 
Top