How should a cold approach look?

[Clockwerk50]

Ok, so your goal requires you to be more discerning, and you believe the women you'd meet out in the bars or on the street would not measure up to the caliber of woman you want. That is fine.

Still, like @Plinco said above, just because it doesn't work for YOU, considering YOUR GOALS, does not mean it doesn't work, period.



That said, this is one of the wildest takes I've seen on a seduction forum...

You must have missed @corrector’s comment about escorts where he said they “require game, probably more game than what you need to get free women.”

My week from Online dating apps - LRs

I'll add hobbies, interests, gym time, hanging with guys time, and studying and/or working. OP is playing a dangerous game by spending so much time immersed in OLD apps and going out with women that chew up his time and money, especially at age 42. I'll say it for the N’th time: Women should...

www.sosuave.net

 

[Cheeky_James]

I feel the need to say a few words, since I am an active cold approacher myself, and I can see how great this thing could be, yet some of you talk against it.

The main thing for many guys is to conquer their fear of talking to a unknown woman that they find attractive. It took me years to get over it. But then, when I finally started taking real action, I became so much more confident and free. It's like you grow wings.

This act of going in, starting a conversation, and being honest about your intent, I believe, is the right thing to do. It's natural, "manly", feels good, spikes up your dopamine, adrenaline, testosterone, mood, etc.

So one of the main goals of cold approaching is to be able to go up to a woman and know how to start a conversation without being a creep or weirdo about it.

If done right, this usually makes the day for the woman, she feels great and flattered about it, and for you - actually it can change your life, since you are able to meet any women at any place.

Not to mention that these type of social skills transfer to other fields, and can also help you network and meet important people (especially if you are introverted by nature, which I believe most of the cold approachers actually are).

Of course there is a dark side to this game. Your ego gets crushed - well, this is actually a good thing, and needed for any real personal growth. You can suck at it, and feel worthless. Most guys probably try it out for a little bit, and then give up after a few rejections.

But besides that, when you understand the power that this skill has, and the amazing opportunities and life moments that it can create, I think there is something very beautiful about it.

And about the main question of this thread - "How should it look?" - well, you find what works for you. Check out Sasha Daygame, check out RSD Tyler's stuff, check out The London Daygame Model (Tom Torero, Nick Krauser), check out TheNaturalLifestyles (although James' game recently has been very weak from what I saw on the videos). All of these guys have infields on the internet.

Go out and try stuff. Find your way. Or just go and say "hello, I thought you look nice, so I came to meet you". Simple as that. Deliver it without rushing your words, by keeping your eye contact, and having a slight smirk / smiling with your eyes. This can do wonders, if the energy (vibe) behind it is right, and you look well-kept.

idk guys. I think this showing direct intent in day game cold approaching is pretty flat .

It seems to break all known “rules” of seducfion also.
-Openers like “I thought you looked nice /cute” are pretty uninspired for a start.
-there’s no expression or conveyance of personality off the opener.
- directly expressing intent is the opposite of flirting.
-the guy puts himself in pursuer mode (not good)
- kills the mystery and building of sexual tension
- the guy misses a chance to really turn a woman on more subtly , indirectly with subtext (womens language is indirect btw)
- there is no sexy ‘story’ /narrative for the woman to latch onto . Women love a sexy narrative or sexy scenario.

so lotsa strong reasons there against this.

And I think it mainly ‘feels good’ for the dude approaching.

it’s all reducing odds considerably.

And all the infield of those guys mentioned Sasha .Tyler , and the London DayGamers are frankly .. sh1t. So..?

I viewed a video of Steve Jabba recently , he was basically pvssy-begging a chick all the way up the street. And these guys seem to zone in on foreign chciks especially. Krauser used to beat the streets of Eastern Europe for example.

does not compute.

as for needing ‘Game ‘ with escorts…
Just a very big LOL at that.
That’s cash in exchange for sex and by far the simplest way to get laid.
I gather in the USA it’s more expensive and a bit dodgier, but regardless, you don’t have to Game/Seduce an escort . At all , afaik,

 

[characternote]

idk guys. I think this showing direct intent cold approach is pretty flat .

I have absolutely no problem with guys being direct, because I think it's all essentially more or less irrelevant over a decent sample size (i.e, direct and indirect will both work just fine if you open a girl who thinks you're hot, and both will fail if you open a girl who would swipe left hard on you if it was tinder). however, personally, I tend to open more indirect and try to slowly flirt and make it more fun and have her guessing a little bit etc. More like how I imagine you do things based on your posts.

But as I say, i've no issue at all if people tell me direct is the way to go. I mean, it certainly saves time!

I viewed a video of Steve Jabba recently , he was basically ***** begging a chick all the way up the street. And these guys seem to zone in on foreign chciks especially. Krauser used to beat the streets of Eastern Europe for example.

Every few weeks someone tells me that krauser is like teh gofather of game, but man, when I watch his infields, I find them painful.
This kind of thing:

As for Jabba. He seemed to get laid a fair bit back when he was young and fairly handsome from what I understand. But, shock horror, now that he has lost his looks, got fat, lost hair, went grey, got wrinkles etc, he's invisible to the hot young ones and he's more or less gone blackpill. He's even making vids promoting pay for play in Thailand etc. Always makes me laugh taht over a long enough timeline, everyone goes a bit blackpill lol. Back when Jabba was decent looking, he said looks didn't mean much and it was all about his 'game'. Now he's lost his looks, he realises his 'game' doesn't work haha. This has been teh case for a good number of 'coaches' in fact.

 

[Cheeky_James]

@characternote

totally re Krauser and Jabba. lol.

I reviewed Krausers video course DayGame overkill and thr infields ages back. It was..ok at best. Still a lot of cringe. But he had to relocate to Eastern Europe to do his street pickups was the main takeaway for me.

- edit: I just watched that Krauser video. His body language is so nervous on the open .. he looks to be sh1tting his pants tbh.
( this is not good , obviously)

this is a good study of body language actually, and the signals going back and forth,

Towards the end .he’s got her squared up with her back against the window, she looks pretty uncomfortable , probably intimidated and is keen to detach and get away. Pretty clear signals going on there, he’s failing and from early on too.

 

[zekko]

Me: I think you look cute. Do you wanna get to know eachother?
And then wait for a response.

This seems to be an often recommended line, or some variation of it.
On the other hand, it's often said that you shouldn't give a compliment that isn't earned. And it's often said that you shouldn't compliment a woman on her looks, but if you do find something about her clothes - something about some choice she's made as opposed to a direct comment on her body.

Of course, some people see "cute" as being a backhanded compliment, so they think it's okay. Makes the girl wonder how the guy means it, or some women see it as even mildly insulting. In a "why doesn't he just say I'm beautiful or whatever" way.

I'm not making a critique here, I'm just wondering how people square all these contradictions. Tyler from RSD used to say something along the line that pickup was full of contradictions - the skill was in getting a feel for what will work in what situation with what girl. Reading the target and such.

 

[Plinco]

I feel the need to say a few words, since I am an active cold approacher myself, and I can see how great this thing could be, yet some of you talk against it.

The main thing for many guys is to conquer their fear of talking to a unknown woman that they find attractive. It took me years to get over it. But then, when I finally started taking real action, I became so much more confident and free. It's like you grow wings.

This act of going in, starting a conversation, and being honest about your intent, I believe, is the right thing to do. It's natural, "manly", feels good, spikes up your dopamine, adrenaline, testosterone, mood, etc.

So one of the main goals of cold approaching is to be able to go up to a woman and know how to start a conversation without being a creep or weirdo about it.

If done right, this usually makes the day for the woman, she feels great and flattered about it, and for you - actually it can change your life, since you are able to meet any women at any place.

Not to mention that these type of social skills transfer to other fields, and can also help you network and meet important people (especially if you are introverted by nature, which I believe most of the cold approachers actually are).

Of course there is a dark side to this game. Your ego gets crushed - well, this is actually a good thing, and needed for any real personal growth. You can suck at it, and feel worthless. Most guys probably try it out for a little bit, and then give up after a few rejections.

But besides that, when you understand the power that this skill has, and the amazing opportunities and life moments that it can create, I think there is something very beautiful about it.

And about the main question of this thread - "How should it look?" - well, you find what works for you. Check out Sasha Daygame, check out RSD Tyler's stuff, check out The London Daygame Model (Tom Torero, Nick Krauser), check out TheNaturalLifestyles (although James' game recently has been very weak from what I saw on the videos). All of these guys have infields on the internet.

Go out and try stuff. Find your way. Or just go and say "hello, I thought you look nice, so I came to meet you". Simple as that. Deliver it without rushing your words, by keeping your eye contact, and having a slight smirk / smiling with your eyes. This can do wonders, if the energy (vibe) behind it is right, and you look well-kept.

I do concur that I get a rush out of cold approaching. It feels like I'm doing what I should be doing. I don't regret any of the approaches I've done so far. In my experience, most women I approach are polite and some of which are flattered. I'd say about one out of 15 or so will feel offended by my approach. In those cases I treat it as entertainment.

 

[Cheeky_James]

Here’s a mishmash of (some) better approaches from PWFs channel.

This Austin guy is very good.
Julien had skills for sure.
Marcus is hilarious ..giving the student tips as hes doing the pickup (!)

This is Todd V (Mr Technical Game) doing the direct style.( semi direct i spose)
It’s so - so imo.
This video but it highlights the problems with it and PWF points them out.

Imo, the big difference between the styles is
The better guys are
-Masculine & Hands On. Theres sexual undertones/ subtext of sex.
-have a great’ patter ‘/ banter they bring a context with some kind of story to it for the chick to work with (v important)
-they bring the right energy and “vibe” from the open, with all of these things together as a package.

 

[Plinco]

This topic has evolved into something more profound and I want to make some notes; thinking out loud. Let's do a collaboration and get to the bottom of this as best as we can.

From my observations, men and women have a type of person whom they are attracted to. Attraction is a person thing, but it is also an evaluation that has broader implications. For example, take the "post a pic of what you think is HB10" thread, you can see there that people have preferences for what they find attractive in women. The same goes for women; you can see this just by people watching and observing couples. There's also a more universal evaluation on how good looking the person is. Men and women are attracted to value, both they way the person looks but also other characteristics that align with who they are.

So the cold approach line goes like this: You approach a woman, you display your value and then she decides whether or not you are her type and good looking enough. Since the man is doing the approach, he is taking the lead, and depending on how he approaches, is either displaying high value characteristics or is displaying low value characteristics (some mix of the two). The goal here is to display high value characteristics so that the woman feels like you are capable of leading her, making her feel comfortable, etc. all of the behaviors necessary to turn a woman on sexually.

The warm approach line is a place and time where the woman already feels comfortable, and finds you attractive that she drops hints that she likes you. She is in a childish state of mind and thinks she's in the drivers seat. Since she finds the man attractive, the man can use a bit of patience (one definition of "game") to lure her into chasing him, which in turns her on even more.

My first hand experience, I have a decent amount of experience with the warm method, back when I used to have a friends/acquaintance circle, and looked better than I do now. Because of my circumstances, I have to do the cold method, and as much as I enjoy it, I'm not very good at it yet.

 

[Plinco]

The looks, game, status, money debate is misleading. The men doing well with women appear to have all of these characteristics. In other words, they all integrate together in a person. I would define game as either having high emotional intelligence, or having high self-esteem. Self-esteem, the ability to make money, status (depending on the context), all go together roughly, and has an effect on the way a person looks too; a happy, healthy person is also at least a somewhat good looking person too.

These traits all go together in an attractive person.

Take a look at your environment, it reflects your self-esteem.

Your ability to communicate expresses your emotional intelligence.

 

[Cheeky_James]

The looks, game, status, money debate is misleading. The men doing well with women appear to have all of these characteristics. In other words, they all integrate together in a person. I would define game as either having high emotional intelligence, or having high self-esteem. Self-esteem, the ability to make money, status (depending on the context), all go together roughly, and has an effect on the way a person looks too; a happy, healthy person is also at least a somewhat good looking person too.

These traits all go together in an attractive person.

Take a look at your environment, it reflects your self-esteem.

Your ability to communicate expresses your emotional intelligence.

Kinda agree. But that’s only partially what guys who are great have.
A lot of the problem with game /seduction advice (and especially Black Pill ) is that it leaves the womans pov out of the advice , sometimes completely. (!) Seduction is mutual. Not one sided.

guys who are really good understand women. Simply. They have attributes and advantages sure. But they understand women , very well, cos they’ve spent so much time w them.

so yeah, emotional intelligence and high self esteem yep .. but also other things.

A quote by the comedian Billy Crystal is very apt .
Should be written down and stuck on the wall by anyone trying to improve w women. And meditated on , daily.

quote;
“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”

The key thing is a reason.
women just want their brain engaged also before the sex.
Most will say they have to have what they call “a connection” firstly. (a womans term)

Most need this , *especially in the day time*, to move them from Objective Mode into Sexy Mode. 100%.

 

[Plinco]

guys who are really good understand women. Simply. They have attributes and advantages sure. But they understand women , very well, cos they’ve spent so much time w them.

so yeah, emotional intelligence and high self esteem yep .. but also other things.

You certainly communicate like a woman

A quote by the comedian Billy Crystal is very apt .
Should be written down and stuck on the wall by anyone trying to improve w women. And meditated on , daily.

quote;
“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”

The key thing is a reason.
women just want their brain engaged also before the sex.
Most will say they have to have what they call “a connection” firstly. (a womans term)

Most need this , *especially in the day time*, to move them from Objective Mode into Sexy Mode. 100%.

 

[Sega Genesis]

women just want their brain engaged also before the sex.

^^This is very true CJ. And their emotions.

I'm not gonna say all women cause there are women who can look at a guy and know immediately they want to f*ck him. Not sure why that is; for the friend I mentioned in a previous post, it wasn't due to attraction, it was for validation.

Other women may be more visually oriented (like most men) and can get turned on (tingles) by the mere sight of a man.

But these things aren't universally true for all women or even many - there is a saying "the largest sex organ is the brain."

This is why direct Mode One isn't the best approach imo. It does work on certain women, but certainly not all and if a man is smart he will err on the side of caution and not expect a woman to know in 3-5 seconds if she has the desire to f*ck him.

Like I told you previously, for me (and other women I associate with), yes I can find a man hot immediately but that does NOT mean I have the desire to f*ck him.

I wouldn't care if he looked like a young Brad Pitt, if my emotions don't get stirred (even a little) while interacting with him, nothing is gonna happen!

I think this is one of the biggest disconnects between men and women.

A woman's attraction is NOT the same as a man's attraction, it's just not guys. And a man expecting it to be is gonna fail him more times than not in my experience.

There are exceptions of course, but generally a 'feminine' woman's attraction takes some time to warm up and involves more than him simply standing there looking hot.

Talk to her, have a conversation, engage her emotions. She needs to feel something (emotionally) before having sex.

Like you said CJ, the greatest seducers understand women, they understand how to engage their emotions to their benefit.

If he can do that it's a win-win for both because sex with a woman whose emotions are engaged (versus her simply seeking validation or because he's good looking), makes for some incredibly HOT sex!

 

[Cheeky_James]

You certainly communicate like a woman

thanks. I’ll take that as a big compliment.

That’s a very good video btw.
Didn’t watch it all …But… a guy has to at some point escalate the sexual vibe and ‘risk sleazy /creepy’ (as 60YOC used to say in his PuA Lit.)

**Just at the right time and the right window when other things are established .**

A guy needs to have a ‘gearbox’ and work up through the gears to use a car analogy.

But it can be done quite quickly this, in NightGame.
I’ve rolled with a Quick-pull Master guy back in the day . He was a pretty Sleazy and polarising guy.

 

[Cheeky_James]

^^This is very true CJ. And their emotions.

I'm not gonna say all women cause there are women who can look at a guy and know immediately they want to f*ck him. Not sure why that is; for the friend I mentioned in a previous post, it wasn't due to attraction, it was for validation.

Other women may be more visually oriented (like most men) and can get turned on (tingles) by the mere sight of a man.

Brain, Emotions… same-same to me.
Emotions are connected to the Brain .

The women you describe above are often the Hot GlamourPusses that guys may be drooling over in clubs.
Hot bimbo types imo. Social status is big with them afaics.
IG girls, OnlyFans girls.
The super-sexies and turbo hotties.lol.

They may be ‘hot bimbos’ obsessed with hair and beauty and all things feminine. But they are not stupid.. they know their value. ! And trade it for a guys big status and the validation that comes with that.

refer to the old website ‘hotchickswithdouchebags’ for photo proof.!

like, there is ample evidence IRL of all of this.

 

[Clockwerk50]

The looks, game, status, money debate is misleading. The men doing well with women appear to have all of these characteristics. In other words, they all integrate together in a person. I would define game as either having high emotional intelligence, or having high self-esteem. Self-esteem, the ability to make money, status (depending on the context), all go together roughly, and has an effect on the way a person looks too; a happy, healthy person is also at least a somewhat good looking person too.

These traits all go together in an attractive person.

Take a look at your environment, it reflects your self-esteem.

Your ability to communicate expresses your emotional intelligence.

A little bit of a tangent here but I always found that self-esteem seemed like a softer, feminine, more abstract concept to me.

A man’s confidence is built on his factual life experience of accomplishment. Self-esteem, on the other hand, often comes more from an internal sense of value rather than something that’s been proven through real-world results.

 

[Velasco]

I'm not gonna say all women cause there are women who can look at a guy and know immediately they want to f*ck him

Every girl (not certain girls) has guys they think are hot (8-10), attractive (6-7), unattractive (5 and below). your talking about the girls who will act on that attraction that same night. which is certain girls. certain girls will fvck guys they think are hot or attractive that same night due to numerous circumstances. whether it’s revenge motivated. they’ve been feeling neglected by their friends/boyfriend. they’re ovulating. or just bored lol. the rest of them will ask for that guys number (assuming he doesn’t do anything weird in person) and want to see them some other time. and then they’ll fvck him (again assuming he doesn’t act weird/needy/cringe thru texts that will make them not want to anymore). Even if they knew right away they thought the guy was hot, attractive or not attractive.

I wouldn't care if he looked like a young Brad Pitt, if my emotions don't get stirred (even a little) while interacting with him, nothing is gonna happen!

because game converts not attracts. if a guy that looks like young brad pitt is hot to you. then him boring u to death with his cringe and weird vibes doesn’t mean u didn’t know right away you knew if he was aesthetically pleasing or not. that’s instantaneous. all it mean is he failed to convert.

 

[Cheeky_James]

I have absolutely no problem with guys being direct, because I think it's all essentially more or less irrelevant over a decent sample size (i.e, direct and indirect will both work just fine if you open a girl who thinks you're hot, and both will fail if you open a girl who would swipe left hard on you if it was tinder). however, personally, I tend to open more indirect and try to slowly flirt and make it more fun and have her guessing a little bit etc. More like how I imagine you do things based on your posts.

But as I say, i've no issue at all if people tell me direct is the way to go. I mean, it certainly saves time!


Every few weeks someone tells me that krauser is like teh gofather of game, but man, when I watch his infields, I find them painful.
This kind of thing:

As for Jabba. He seemed to get laid a fair bit back when he was young and fairly handsome from what I understand. But, shock horror, now that he has lost his looks, got fat, lost hair, went grey, got wrinkles etc, he's invisible to the hot young ones and he's more or less gone blackpill. He's even making vids promoting pay for play in Thailand etc. Always makes me laugh taht over a long enough timeline, everyone goes a bit blackpill lol.

I think that’s ’purple pill’ right? Between red and black.
lol at Jabbas promoting.. he is giving ‘tips’ on that also?

 

[Plinco]

A little bit of a tangent here but I always found that self-esteem seemed like a softer, feminine, more abstract concept to me.

A man’s confidence is built on his factual life experience of accomplishment. Self-esteem, on the other hand, often comes more from an internal sense of value rather than something that’s been proven through real-world results.

Properly, self-esteem is based on reality. Self-esteem is based on accomplishment, however it is not stagnant. Confidence may be stagnant (the certainty that is based on experience), self-esteem must be maintain by productivity (the feeling of being worthy of living).

thanks. I’ll take that as a big compliment.

I figured you would. It's cringe for me to read because I prefer to go straight to the facts.

 

[Plinco]

There’s no set formula for “how a cold approach should look.” It’s more about putting yourself in a position to naturally interact with a woman. Your charisma and social skills carry the day and allow you to drum up a topic that has validity in the moment.

If you see a woman you want to talk to, get nearby (naturally), look at your environment and comment on something. An easy one is always what she is wearing. “You’ve got good taste. I like your <article of clothing/accessory>.” This normally gets them talking “Aww thanks! I got it at…..blah blah.” And you take off from there. You just need to get her talking and building rapport. But having good conversational skills is essential. If you act wooden or unnatural in the interaction you will always be destined to fail even if you are trying and even if you are good looking.

Wouldn't that be confusing to her if you were not being direct?

i don’t think you understood what i was saying. i said if we had this conversation 5 years ago. i would have agreed with you. because i did all that. i was that guy that a lot of the time it wasn’t until i approached a girl that i got on her radar and then she’s happy like “oh wow there’s a cute guy here! how did i not see him before!” and then i’d bang them. i’m saying today that’s not possible. because as soon as i walk into a bar or walk my way to use the restroom, i will be on just about every girls radar.

and yeah duh lol. but not always because

a lot of them do. the better looking you are the better looking the ones that do. because the ugly ones know better. at best make a throw away comment about how good looking you are and then walk away.

I remember when the user "pan87" called you out on bragging about banging a fat Indian girl. Was that true or was he full of it?

 

[Velasco]

remember when the user "pan87" called you out on bragging about banging a fat Indian girl

for some reason his posts are deleted. but yeah there never was a fat indian girl. i said the race of the girl i had banged was of indian decent and then he posted a random stockphoto of some fat indian girl on google search. because to him all indian girls are fat obviously

was he full of it?

um duh?