My Story
The early years
When I was young I tended to ace things easily. If I didn't at first, I would become obsessive/compulsive about it until I did. I loved games and was very competitive. I still made friends easily though, because I wasn't competing with them as much as with myself. Always striving to do things better. I was a brat too, always determine to do things my way. Everything to me was about perfection. Once I complete something I would look for something else to conquer. I'd say I was a male in the truest sense. I was into gadgets and the like. I tended to get bored easily. I did well in school, girls tended to like me, and would chase me around. I thought not much about it, I had it handled. My mom remarried and me my brother had a new stepdad. My whole impression of him was like "what a grouch". He never did much with us, maybe on occasion, except got on to us for everything. I know, it could have been worse. Never any fatherly advice on things, just coexistence. He was a player though, something I would understand only years later. Enough about him.
I then became a TV freak. I believe that's when I started to lose my zeal and became more distant and to myself. A fate befallen a many of us. I didn't recognized it as my first serious problem. It wasn't the TV, it was my attraction to it. Sowing seeds of AFCism.
Setting the Stage
As we grew older, we started going to church, I took it very seriously, and tried to change my bratty ways. I didn't get a good impression of women either. The Bible painted them to be very manipulative and distracting. So true and of course, a lot of people are. I lost trust in people in general. When I hit puberty, I decided to leave it up to God to bring me the woman of my dreams. Good intentions, very naive. My brother was constantly trying to mack on girls, and became fairly sucessful. He had his game, I had mine. While he was out being wild and crazy, I was at home trying to do the right thing. At least I thought. I started playing the guitar. I was going to do the rock star thing. I became pretty good. I quickly realized that I would never achieved the status I wanted because of certain physical infirminties. I was broken. I gave up on the whole idea. It just a hobbie now. I was also an avid baseball player, gave up on that too.
For the first time in my life, I was lost. Had no idea what I wanted to do. No confidence in anything. But I believe it wouldn't last, it was just a phase, and somehow things would work out...To be cont...
