You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Practically never. The first meeting either happens at my place or we just go have a walk. Sometimes, I go by myself to have a tea at a place I like and I invite her out for tea. But I would go there anyways even alone so she just tags along.
In the 10+ years I've been dating women, I have never gone out for drinks. When I do buy beer or wine, I make sure to serve it at my place, where logistics are in my favor ; ]
this ........or out then "back to yours for drinks".................sex on the first date so she becomes emotionally attached to ya