When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Practically never. The first meeting either happens at my place or we just go have a walk. Sometimes, I go by myself to have a tea at a place I like and I invite her out for tea. But I would go there anyways even alone so she just tags along.
In the 10+ years I've been dating women, I have never gone out for drinks. When I do buy beer or wine, I make sure to serve it at my place, where logistics are in my favor ; ]
this ........or out then "back to yours for drinks".................sex on the first date so she becomes emotionally attached to ya