"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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how often do you call a gf?

rocco

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this is sort of a relationship question..

how often should a guy call a gf? I mostly call people when I want to hangout, but my gf likes to talk on the phone a lot. how often should i call?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Fumbduck

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Girls are different; and a g/f in particular may be glued to the phone (if you two live farther than a few minutes drive away). She may want to talk on the phone every day just to hear about how your day went, and talk about her issues, thoughts, feelings.

If you want the relationship, you're going to have to get used to talking on the phone- make it fun, if you're doing it right (and have an interesting girl), time spent talking on the phone will seem like nothing.
 

ready123

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I talk to my girl every day. Sometimes I call, sometimes she calls

why does it matter?
 

rocco

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i dunno, maybe im still getting used to the whole new relationship thing.. ive improved on attracting more women, getting laid more often these days.. all that pua stuff.. but after that.. it seems like the pua community dont cover that as much ..
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ready123

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whats your definition of a relationship?

is it a girl you're exclusive with, a girl you're seeing, an f-buddy?
 

DoctorLW

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I talk to my gilfriend over AIM almost every day. It's nice because you can do other things on the computer while you talk, and a 10 minute phone conversation can stretch out to about 40 minutes over the internet. A lot easier to keep things fun and interesting that way.

As far as phone calls go, I generally don't call except for really important stuff or when I'm completely wasted... I'm almost guaranteed to give her a drunk dial right before I pass out.
 

rocco

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ready123 said:
whats your definition of a relationship?

is it a girl you're exclusive with, a girl you're seeing, an f-buddy?
with her its semi-exclusive.. like that's where the direction is headed, although i think we both have been seeing other people, atleast I know I have been.
 

rocco

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DoctorLW said:
I talk to my gilfriend over AIM almost every day. It's nice because you can do other things on the computer while you talk, and a 10 minute phone conversation can stretch out to about 40 minutes over the internet. A lot easier to keep things fun and interesting that way.

As far as phone calls go, I generally don't call except for really important stuff or when I'm completely wasted... I'm almost guaranteed to give her a drunk dial right before I pass out.
that sounds cool thing you got going there
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Vendetta081789

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I generally tend to call every 3 days or so. If they complain a little, good. That just means they want you. If they complain a lot, call a little more. Not too much or you are too easy to attain. When the relationship escalates to something exclusive, move to calling her a little more frequently, but no more than she calls you.
 

WC2

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rocco said:
with her its semi-exclusive.. like that's where the direction is headed, although i think we both have been seeing other people, atleast I know I have been.
I hope you haven't got thinking onto the LTR track just yet. If she is still seeing other people, you're in a bad zone. Unless she has popped the question to you and you shot her down, she's not interested enough to date you if she can't dedicate herself to just you. Once she starts doing this, then consider a relationship. I don't care if you're hooking up with other women too.. if she really does like you she will either pop the question or stop hooking up with others.

As for phone calls to the GF? Some guys on the board will tell you 4 - 5 times a week MAX. I somewhat disagree.. I've talked to my girlfriends everyday. What's more important than amount of calls is who makes the call and what the conversation consists off. Make sure phone calls don't get boring.. keep them fresh and new if you're going to be talking everyday. Let her call you more than you call her. As a man, I don't require to hear my woman's voice everyday, but she may require to hear yours. Let her request it from you.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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Don't talk on the phone for a long time and all the time. It gets old and boring. She should be the one calling you most the time. That shows her interest level in her. My girlfriend calls or sends a text msg to me everyday I don't have to call her.
 

DonJaunStupidity

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rocco said:
this is sort of a relationship question..

how often should a guy call a gf? I mostly call people when I want to hangout, but my gf likes to talk on the phone a lot. how often should i call?
let her call you.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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john paul

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I dont call mine unless im coming to pick her up or something. Never called her before just to chat.

But then again I usually get a chance to see her at school every day.
 
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