how long to wait after 1st date?

[Mr.Fantastic]

just wondering how long to wait after the 1st date...took her out on monday, im thinking next week? is that too long? can't go for weekend right? i need to be 'busy' then....?

 

[md3sign]

I found that a week works best - it gives her enough time to think about you and miss you a bit. If she offers to hang out before then it might be a good idea to refuse. I haven't dated as much as some people have though, so I'm not sure.

 

[medicinemc2]

Really depends on the kind of girl. If the girl is a HB9 or above then I definetely wait a week even week and a half in some cases. Those girls are use to getting a call the next day and the last thing you want to do is come out like a chump. However, if the girl is like HB8 and doesn't seem ****y, then I usually wait until the following weekend. If I saw her on Monday, then I would probably let Fri and Sat pass and call her on Sunday. Sunday's tend to be a more neutral and chill day, so it's a perfect chance to take her to something low key and really get to know her.

 

[edmond]

The sooner the better, if she likes you she will be eager to see you again and if she is not keen, then move on.

 

[Mr.Fantastic]

ok, so i am hearing conflicting information here...a week? sooner the better?...

heres what has happened so far:

A day went by and then she text me, said she had fun and wished me a good day.

So i text back, said i had a good time aswell, and asked if she wanted to do something else together real soon...

she text back and said she would 'love to' and that perhaps we could check out some live music.

so i said yeah, ill check whos playing, and thats where we left it.

today is thursday and we first went out on monday..

when should i call her? and when should the date be when i call her? medicinemc2, you seem to be suggesting sunday...is that like call her on the day to meet later that day? Anyone else have any thoughts?

 

[Mr.Fantastic]

out of interest...is there any flexible rules on the amount of time to wait between dates?

 

[blinkwatt]

All that "wait 2,3 days is bull". DO WHAT YOU WANT! In my personal expierences if they like you they dont care when you call.

Look she already said she would 'love to' hang out again,WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?Just remember you had a life before her that you must still attend to.

 

[kyphan]

One rule of thumb is to always call the next day if you're interested in another date, at least for the first month of dating.

Another is to only call on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

Another is four days. But never on a Friday or Saturday.

Another is a week, no matter what.

Confusing? That's because you're not using your gut, you're thinking too damn hard about doing the "right" thing. Your gut will tell you the answer, my friend.

 

[jcap]

making people wait does not increase interest level
either you increase it during the date
or you just did a ****ty job

seeing as she loves to
you did a good job
so you can call whenever you like
you can call the next day
whatever
all the same ****

if you saw a porsche you'd really like to own
you wouldn't do a waiting thing with the dealer would you?
you'd want it immediately
but if it was a hyundai, you'd probably take 2-3 months off waiting for teh employee discount.

ok

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I'd call her just to say hi and propose something for next week. Skipping the weekend altogether is good with someone you just meet. She'll begin wondering why you don't ever suggest doing something on the weekend. That's a good thing, it'll give her something to wonder about.

 

[Sean O]

If she offers to hang out before then it might be a good idea to refuse.

No, that's a bad idea. If the chick actually goes out of her way to try to see you, SHE WANTS YOU!!! Capitalize on that sh1t, man!

All that "wait 2,3 days is bull". DO WHAT YOU WANT! In my personal expierences if they like you they dont care when you call.

Look she already said she would 'love to' hang out again,WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?Just remember you had a life before her that you must still attend to.

Definitely, man. If you've got an empty spot in your schedule, there's no reason to not use that time for dating!

That's because you're not using your gut, you're thinking too damn hard about doing the "right" thing. Your gut will tell you the answer, my friend.

Very true. These "rules" on when to call are yet another way in which the DJ Bible gives OVERCOMPENSATING advice to help rAFCs get rid of AFC habits and character traits. The problem is that most rAFCs end up taking this kind of advice too seriously, and as a result, we get questions like yours, Mr. Fantastic.

making people wait does not increase interest level. either you increase it during the date or you just did a ****ty job

Skipping the weekend altogether is good with someone you just meet. She'll begin wondering why you don't ever suggest doing something on the weekend. That's a good thing, it'll give her something to wonder about.

This is also true, but in this case I wouldn't bother. As I, and a few others, have said already: this girl is clearly interested in you. No reason to start playing unnecessary games.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

This is also true, but in this case I wouldn't bother. As I, and a few others, have said already: this girl is clearly interested in you. No reason to start playing unnecessary games.

I would agree with you if it were established that truly interested and not just curious. Usually, a woman who is truly interested will ask you out on a weekend, in instances like that I would definitely accept. If she's playing the game of waiting to see what the guy will do, I say spend time with her during the week since she hasn't established herself as LT material. A woman who has stepped up and established (qualified) herself wins the honor of hanging out on the weekend. Make them earn it.

 

[Ace of Flames]

You guys call again after the date...?

^joke^

Nah, but seriously, they usually call me, or else we see each other in person anyway. I'm not much of a phone person.

 

[Sean O]

If she's playing the game of waiting to see what the guy will do, I say spend time with her during the week since she hasn't established herself as LT material. A woman who has stepped up and established (qualified) herself wins the honor of hanging out on the weekend. Make them earn it.

Couldn't have put it better myself. Always remember that YOU are the prize to be won, NOT the girl.