"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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How long seeing before you become "exclusive"

PRMoon

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I'm curious how long you guys will see a girl or girls usually before you decide to go exclusive? I know, for some of you, when it rains, it pours so often when you meet a girl you like to spend time with, you'll end up meeting two or three more that you're equally attracted to and potentially end up seeing them as well. The downside is you can only juggle for so long before things start getting stressful and you have to make cuts. Obviously it's much easier to make this decision if you meet one girl and no one else because you will default to exclusive sooner or later. How long do you linger in that limbo of seeing each other or make some cuts to your roster as the case maybe, and become exclusive with women, typically?

Annndd discuss.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Docs

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Exclusive...when I know I'm not going to be short changed out of the deal. Including cuddle time, kissing, sex, Me Time and the like.

If I'm going to be short changed on any of those, then she hasn't met the requirements.
 

PRMoon

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okay docs although i'm some what uncomfortable with "cuddle time" lets say you're seeing several girls who provide you with each of these hypotheically. Criteria met yada yada, usually when do you start making cuts.

Honestly I'm a good spot with several girls and I'm going to have to make cuts sooner or later. When do you narrow the playing field?
 

CLOONEY

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Become exclusive when you want to become exclusive with one. You choose when it becomes exclusive.

I usually make it a couple of months after I meet a girl, if I really think she could be long term material.
 

KillaCam

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Whenever I tell her she's mine ;)
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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PRMoon

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When I choose?! That could get pricy for me! Not that I pay for a ton of stuff for these girls, they pay for stuff too, but i mean with my time as well as money. I get done seeing one I have a date with the other the same night or the day after. If one sleeps over, one wants to go to lunch. It's crazy.

Ah well, i guess there's no easy anwser other then ride it out and pick one circa jan or feb i guess.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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CLOONEY said:
Become exclusive when you want to become exclusive with one. You choose when it becomes exclusive.

I usually make it a couple of months after I meet a girl, if I really think she could be long term material.
It usually take me about a season before I even start thinking about long term and that doesn't happen unless she's shown that necessary things that would merit viable LTR.
 

CLOONEY

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
It usually take me about a season before I even start thinking about long term and that doesn't happen unless she's shown that necessary things that would merit viable LTR.
How long is a season? A year? No way, I can tell if the chemistry and general good vibes of a girl are there after the first few dates. A few more and I can get a general gist of her attitude and interests. And the physical attraction is instant. Has never taken me more than a couple of months to see if I really want to get to know the girl. Dating a girl for a year, can really destroy things from my experience. Can create too much insecurity and games.
 

PRMoon

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CLOONEY said:
How long is a season? A year? No way, I can tell if the chemistry and general good vibes of a girl are there after the first few dates. A few more and I can get a general gist of her attitude and interests. And the physical attraction is instant. Has never taken me more than a couple of months to see if I really want to get to know the girl. Dating a girl for a year, can really destroy things from my experience. Can create too much insecurity and games.
I've noticed in the past couple of months while seeing these girls that games with them and additional games that comes from seeing multiple women exist. Juggling I'm not very insecure about them, maybe because in the back of my mind I secretly want one of them to find someone else or leave me otherwise. On the other hand I think I'd feel a bit of remourse if I lost one of them which is the delema at hand. Seeing multiple people takes a bigger toll on the psyche and physically then having just one girl could ever have but at the same time I preach playing the field and seeing more then one person (That's a page out of RT's book as well). Where is the break point for something like that? RT says not to concider monogomy until 30 but there's no way I'll be able to keep this up for 4 years. I'll get caught or have an emotional break down with in the next 4-6 months I wager. When does an exclusive relationship with ONE girl become validaded?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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CLOONEY said:
How long is a season? A year? ...
Where the hell do you live? A season is three months, there's four of them in a year! :p If I'm still interested in a woman by the three month mark she must have something special about her that's worthwhile. Even so, it's just at that time I consider the possibility of something long term. During the next season (another three months), I start watching her long term actions.

I watch to see if the things she did to impress me during the first three months were authentic or whether she just did those things to get into my good graces. After a couple seasons you can tell a person's true nature and determine if the ratio of her positive aspects to negative merit LTR consideration.
 
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