"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

How long seeing before you become "exclusive"

PRMoon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2003
Messages
3,739
Reaction score
41
Age
45
Location
-777-Vegas-777-
I'm curious how long you guys will see a girl or girls usually before you decide to go exclusive? I know, for some of you, when it rains, it pours so often when you meet a girl you like to spend time with, you'll end up meeting two or three more that you're equally attracted to and potentially end up seeing them as well. The downside is you can only juggle for so long before things start getting stressful and you have to make cuts. Obviously it's much easier to make this decision if you meet one girl and no one else because you will default to exclusive sooner or later. How long do you linger in that limbo of seeing each other or make some cuts to your roster as the case maybe, and become exclusive with women, typically?

Annndd discuss.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Docs

Banned
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
3,571
Reaction score
56
Location
Kingston, Can-a-duh
Exclusive...when I know I'm not going to be short changed out of the deal. Including cuddle time, kissing, sex, Me Time and the like.

If I'm going to be short changed on any of those, then she hasn't met the requirements.
 

PRMoon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2003
Messages
3,739
Reaction score
41
Age
45
Location
-777-Vegas-777-
okay docs although i'm some what uncomfortable with "cuddle time" lets say you're seeing several girls who provide you with each of these hypotheically. Criteria met yada yada, usually when do you start making cuts.

Honestly I'm a good spot with several girls and I'm going to have to make cuts sooner or later. When do you narrow the playing field?
 

CLOONEY

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 11, 2002
Messages
3,015
Reaction score
5
Become exclusive when you want to become exclusive with one. You choose when it becomes exclusive.

I usually make it a couple of months after I meet a girl, if I really think she could be long term material.
 

KillaCam

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 26, 2005
Messages
770
Reaction score
3
Whenever I tell her she's mine ;)
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

PRMoon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2003
Messages
3,739
Reaction score
41
Age
45
Location
-777-Vegas-777-
When I choose?! That could get pricy for me! Not that I pay for a ton of stuff for these girls, they pay for stuff too, but i mean with my time as well as money. I get done seeing one I have a date with the other the same night or the day after. If one sleeps over, one wants to go to lunch. It's crazy.

Ah well, i guess there's no easy anwser other then ride it out and pick one circa jan or feb i guess.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
CLOONEY said:
Become exclusive when you want to become exclusive with one. You choose when it becomes exclusive.

I usually make it a couple of months after I meet a girl, if I really think she could be long term material.
It usually take me about a season before I even start thinking about long term and that doesn't happen unless she's shown that necessary things that would merit viable LTR.
 

CLOONEY

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 11, 2002
Messages
3,015
Reaction score
5
Francisco d'Anconia said:
It usually take me about a season before I even start thinking about long term and that doesn't happen unless she's shown that necessary things that would merit viable LTR.
How long is a season? A year? No way, I can tell if the chemistry and general good vibes of a girl are there after the first few dates. A few more and I can get a general gist of her attitude and interests. And the physical attraction is instant. Has never taken me more than a couple of months to see if I really want to get to know the girl. Dating a girl for a year, can really destroy things from my experience. Can create too much insecurity and games.
 

PRMoon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2003
Messages
3,739
Reaction score
41
Age
45
Location
-777-Vegas-777-
CLOONEY said:
How long is a season? A year? No way, I can tell if the chemistry and general good vibes of a girl are there after the first few dates. A few more and I can get a general gist of her attitude and interests. And the physical attraction is instant. Has never taken me more than a couple of months to see if I really want to get to know the girl. Dating a girl for a year, can really destroy things from my experience. Can create too much insecurity and games.
I've noticed in the past couple of months while seeing these girls that games with them and additional games that comes from seeing multiple women exist. Juggling I'm not very insecure about them, maybe because in the back of my mind I secretly want one of them to find someone else or leave me otherwise. On the other hand I think I'd feel a bit of remourse if I lost one of them which is the delema at hand. Seeing multiple people takes a bigger toll on the psyche and physically then having just one girl could ever have but at the same time I preach playing the field and seeing more then one person (That's a page out of RT's book as well). Where is the break point for something like that? RT says not to concider monogomy until 30 but there's no way I'll be able to keep this up for 4 years. I'll get caught or have an emotional break down with in the next 4-6 months I wager. When does an exclusive relationship with ONE girl become validaded?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
CLOONEY said:
How long is a season? A year? ...
Where the hell do you live? A season is three months, there's four of them in a year! :p If I'm still interested in a woman by the three month mark she must have something special about her that's worthwhile. Even so, it's just at that time I consider the possibility of something long term. During the next season (another three months), I start watching her long term actions.

I watch to see if the things she did to impress me during the first three months were authentic or whether she just did those things to get into my good graces. After a couple seasons you can tell a person's true nature and determine if the ratio of her positive aspects to negative merit LTR consideration.
 
Top