say you approach a girl and she seems uninterested. As a dj, how long do you stay and try to make her interest in u or do you just eject inmediately. If so, then being a DJ is just about being able to approach many girls and finding attraction instead of creating it.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
how long do you stay?
- Thread starter david90
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Dapper Swindler
Senior Don Juan
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What harm could it cause by continuing to DJ her? Either she becomes impressed by your confidence and starts to warm up to you, or she becomes increasingly annoyed by you. If you can put up with the rejection of the latter, then I don't see any reason to eject.
Dapper Swindler
Senior Don Juan
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I think it would be AFCish to put up with sh** and not be intimidated by people. If you're putting up with her b****y behavior in a desperate attempt to get her interest then I suppose that would be AFC. But if she acts uninterested and you simply don't care what she thinks because of your confidence, then that would be fine. That makes sense to me, but I may be wrong on this one.
Donald Kaufman
Don Juan
It does depend on the situation but there is usually a warm up period. When anyone walks up to anyone there is a period of wanting to know what is going on.
Imagine if the hottest woman or the oddest woman or the most average woman in the world started talking to you. How would you respond? Somebody talks about pacing the situation. They use it for a different purpose but the idea behind it applies here.
Let her adjust to what is happening. Let her determine what you want her to think is going on. In some situations you will have to do both sides of the conversation for a while.
Because there are so many factors that contribute to how long you could spend it's hard to give a specific time answer.
I think this might be a time to fall back on the idea that you are qualifying her. Once you have gotten a feel for what she is about she has probably figured out what she needs to know about you too. If she isn't warming at this point, move on.
Unless you want a pretty face attached to what you are essentially masturbating with. In that case try some of the seriously unethical SS stuff on her and see if that works.
Imagine if the hottest woman or the oddest woman or the most average woman in the world started talking to you. How would you respond? Somebody talks about pacing the situation. They use it for a different purpose but the idea behind it applies here.
Let her adjust to what is happening. Let her determine what you want her to think is going on. In some situations you will have to do both sides of the conversation for a while.
Because there are so many factors that contribute to how long you could spend it's hard to give a specific time answer.
I think this might be a time to fall back on the idea that you are qualifying her. Once you have gotten a feel for what she is about she has probably figured out what she needs to know about you too. If she isn't warming at this point, move on.
Unless you want a pretty face attached to what you are essentially masturbating with. In that case try some of the seriously unethical SS stuff on her and see if that works.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.