"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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How long after you first meet a girl can you hug her?

iCatch

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im in high school and a lot of people hug when they see each other instead of a plain old hi. my question is how long until you first meet a girl can you start to hug her instead of saying hi and stuff? sorry i didnt post this in the high school forum, but no one hardly reads that.

EDIT: before anyone goes and says "JUST DO IT!" im not afraid of hugging, touching, kino, and all that. i just wanna know how long until it wouldnt be weird for a girl
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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AlexTheGreat

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it wont be weird for a girl when you won't feel weird doing it. whether that's 30 seconds after meeting her or 30 years, is up to your comfort level. Push your comfort zone and you'll see progress.
 

Rex Man

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Just Do It! ....oh wait.

As soon as you have any level of rapport, you should be ok to hug any chick that's not weirded out by physical contact. Just get close, open your arms, and she'll plunge into your big 'ol soft and snuggly embrace. If you feel particularly brazen I'd recommend an 'accidental' butt grab.
 
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Warrior74

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Rex Man said:
Just Do It! ....oh wait.

As soon as you have any level of rapport, you should be ok to hug any chick that's not weirded by physical contact. Just get close, open your arms, and she'll plunge into your big 'ol soft and snuggly embrace. If you feel particularly brazen I'd recommend an 'accidental' butt grab.

I agree...well maybe not about the buttgrab. depends on the girl.

but...by the time most guys are asking themselves when can theyhug her, its usually too late. (overthinking, stalling and waiting)

Do this...next time you see her. give her the one arm buddy hug. the next time after that, give her the quick two arm hug. make em quick and short. a "hi, hows it going" sort of hug. Then over time, as you talk to her and as she gets more comfortable and you see she's attracted give her a big hug. and maybe kiss. Good luck.
 

daygameguy

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iCatch said:
im in high school and a lot of people hug when they see each other instead of a plain old hi. my question is how long until you first meet a girl can you start to hug her instead of saying hi and stuff? sorry i didnt post this in the high school forum, but no one hardly reads that.

EDIT: before anyone goes and says "JUST DO IT!" im not afraid of hugging, touching, kino, and all that. i just wanna know how long until it wouldnt be weird for a girl
full frontal hug should be postponed until a little rapport is built.

sideways shoulder-to-shoulder hug is fine as soon as you open.

But none the above are hard rules you need to abide by. Improvise and be socially savvy.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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SuavePlaya

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I would hug her only when its a full moon.... Wtf kinda question is this...
 

guywhoneedshelp

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Dude, you can hug a girl within second of meeting her. If you talk to a girl for 5 minutes, and see her again the next day, you can hug her upon saying hello.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Groovy

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Are you guys ****ing serious? 5 frikin days?! You can hug her as long as you have confidence. If you're radiating positive emotional energy, people are DRAWN to you. You can feel that the convo is full of positivity, kino, and you're both comfortable with each other. sort of when you're on state! You feel like you could do ANYTHING because you're just so energetic and relaxed and positive and there's NO WAY it could go wrong!

If you're just hugging her out of the vibe, prepare yourself for an awkrard moment "OH boy I shouldn't have done this" :D

I hugged a girl that was my friends cousin and I haven't even talked to her yet. She liked me instantly... First she was like "Oh you're one of his best friends right?!", that was at the beggining in the class. then I saw her after and she was all happy to see me so I hugged her and I accidently stomped her foot, but she didn't seem to care as she was laughing all along.

I think I could pull it off with ANYONE tho, you just need the guts! 5 minutes should be enough! As long as the convo isn't full of awkrawdness and it actually going well.

Go guys! :D
 

Rounder

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Daddy The Pimp said:
It takes time . At least 3-4 days after intensively being a wuss and trying to build comfort . So , when you're her girl friend , than you can hug her .
Dude - you left out the part where you should ask first. Never ever hug or kiss a girl without asking her if it's ok!
 

daygameguy

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Rounder said:
Dude - you left out the part where you should ask first. Never ever hug or kiss a girl without asking her if it's ok!
LOL you forgot adjusting your chest so it won't "accidentally" touch hers. :crackup:
 

DonGorgon

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if a girl likes you physically she will want to hug and kiss on the first date... if you have to try then its not there.. it should be natural and spontaneous and mutual... its not about time .. its about chemistry
 

daygameguy

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DonGorgon said:
if a girl likes you physically she will want to hug and kiss on the first date... if you have to try then its not there.. it should be natural and spontaneous and mutual... its not about time .. its about chemistry
I would stay away from hugs at times when I need to sexually escalate.

I remember one night I dropped a girl off at her door after a seemingly fun date, and as we were standing at the door, and she finished opening the door, she just put her arms out to hug me, I was afraid that I was in LJBF (due to my earlier lack of chemistry or sexual escalation), but this kinda sealed it for me. So I just hugged her back, and nothing really happened after that.

This was the first girl I had a day 2 with as an aspiring PUA.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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MisterMcGee

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hugging = friendly.
side-hugs when your arm is across her back and you're holding onto her arm = sexy for the girl. Do these instead, not the one-arm or two-arm buddy hugs.
 
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