"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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How long after you first meet a girl can you hug her?

iCatch

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im in high school and a lot of people hug when they see each other instead of a plain old hi. my question is how long until you first meet a girl can you start to hug her instead of saying hi and stuff? sorry i didnt post this in the high school forum, but no one hardly reads that.

EDIT: before anyone goes and says "JUST DO IT!" im not afraid of hugging, touching, kino, and all that. i just wanna know how long until it wouldnt be weird for a girl
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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AlexTheGreat

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it wont be weird for a girl when you won't feel weird doing it. whether that's 30 seconds after meeting her or 30 years, is up to your comfort level. Push your comfort zone and you'll see progress.
 

Rex Man

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Just Do It! ....oh wait.

As soon as you have any level of rapport, you should be ok to hug any chick that's not weirded out by physical contact. Just get close, open your arms, and she'll plunge into your big 'ol soft and snuggly embrace. If you feel particularly brazen I'd recommend an 'accidental' butt grab.
 
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Warrior74

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Rex Man said:
Just Do It! ....oh wait.

As soon as you have any level of rapport, you should be ok to hug any chick that's not weirded by physical contact. Just get close, open your arms, and she'll plunge into your big 'ol soft and snuggly embrace. If you feel particularly brazen I'd recommend an 'accidental' butt grab.

I agree...well maybe not about the buttgrab. depends on the girl.

but...by the time most guys are asking themselves when can theyhug her, its usually too late. (overthinking, stalling and waiting)

Do this...next time you see her. give her the one arm buddy hug. the next time after that, give her the quick two arm hug. make em quick and short. a "hi, hows it going" sort of hug. Then over time, as you talk to her and as she gets more comfortable and you see she's attracted give her a big hug. and maybe kiss. Good luck.
 

daygameguy

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iCatch said:
im in high school and a lot of people hug when they see each other instead of a plain old hi. my question is how long until you first meet a girl can you start to hug her instead of saying hi and stuff? sorry i didnt post this in the high school forum, but no one hardly reads that.

EDIT: before anyone goes and says "JUST DO IT!" im not afraid of hugging, touching, kino, and all that. i just wanna know how long until it wouldnt be weird for a girl
full frontal hug should be postponed until a little rapport is built.

sideways shoulder-to-shoulder hug is fine as soon as you open.

But none the above are hard rules you need to abide by. Improvise and be socially savvy.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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SuavePlaya

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I would hug her only when its a full moon.... Wtf kinda question is this...
 

guywhoneedshelp

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Dude, you can hug a girl within second of meeting her. If you talk to a girl for 5 minutes, and see her again the next day, you can hug her upon saying hello.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Groovy

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Are you guys ****ing serious? 5 frikin days?! You can hug her as long as you have confidence. If you're radiating positive emotional energy, people are DRAWN to you. You can feel that the convo is full of positivity, kino, and you're both comfortable with each other. sort of when you're on state! You feel like you could do ANYTHING because you're just so energetic and relaxed and positive and there's NO WAY it could go wrong!

If you're just hugging her out of the vibe, prepare yourself for an awkrard moment "OH boy I shouldn't have done this" :D

I hugged a girl that was my friends cousin and I haven't even talked to her yet. She liked me instantly... First she was like "Oh you're one of his best friends right?!", that was at the beggining in the class. then I saw her after and she was all happy to see me so I hugged her and I accidently stomped her foot, but she didn't seem to care as she was laughing all along.

I think I could pull it off with ANYONE tho, you just need the guts! 5 minutes should be enough! As long as the convo isn't full of awkrawdness and it actually going well.

Go guys! :D
 

Rounder

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Daddy The Pimp said:
It takes time . At least 3-4 days after intensively being a wuss and trying to build comfort . So , when you're her girl friend , than you can hug her .
Dude - you left out the part where you should ask first. Never ever hug or kiss a girl without asking her if it's ok!
 

daygameguy

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Rounder said:
Dude - you left out the part where you should ask first. Never ever hug or kiss a girl without asking her if it's ok!
LOL you forgot adjusting your chest so it won't "accidentally" touch hers. :crackup:
 

DonGorgon

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if a girl likes you physically she will want to hug and kiss on the first date... if you have to try then its not there.. it should be natural and spontaneous and mutual... its not about time .. its about chemistry
 

daygameguy

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DonGorgon said:
if a girl likes you physically she will want to hug and kiss on the first date... if you have to try then its not there.. it should be natural and spontaneous and mutual... its not about time .. its about chemistry
I would stay away from hugs at times when I need to sexually escalate.

I remember one night I dropped a girl off at her door after a seemingly fun date, and as we were standing at the door, and she finished opening the door, she just put her arms out to hug me, I was afraid that I was in LJBF (due to my earlier lack of chemistry or sexual escalation), but this kinda sealed it for me. So I just hugged her back, and nothing really happened after that.

This was the first girl I had a day 2 with as an aspiring PUA.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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MisterMcGee

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hugging = friendly.
side-hugs when your arm is across her back and you're holding onto her arm = sexy for the girl. Do these instead, not the one-arm or two-arm buddy hugs.
 
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