How is it possible for gay guys to find a man extremely attractive, yet the ladies largely view him as invisible?

[GoodMan32]

You are visiting escorts which means you are used to having allot of options with women who like you enough to take your money. You had dinner with escorts off the clock (ie which at this point, they are not working, they are dealing with you in an organic social level as they did not charge you for that). If you are seeing escorts, then you should not use that as excuse as you are not too creepy for a women to deal with you that way.

Have you ever been rejected by an escort? Has an escort ever told you that you were a freaky creep and she did not want your money or to have anything to do with you? Your visits with the escorts are not healing you from the trauma you experienced in High School? They are women too right? They are supposed to fix those issues. Are you picking the right types of escorts that are providing therapy for these insecurities and past?

With your living arrangements right now, you were taking a break from seeing them for a while. Do you think that has gotten to your head to make you a bit more cynical/bitter since you have not had female contact with them in a while?

While it's true they were off the clock at dinner, it's highly unlikely they would have accepted a dinner date with me via traditional dating. Even if they don't charge me for their time at dinner, the fact still remains they met me through their business. As an analogy, think of a business owner giving a loyal customer a coupon for a free item (because he/she has gotten plenty of business from the customer to begin with...and has every reason to expect continued business, therefore he/she can afford to give away the occassional free item to that customer)

Don't get me wrong; the fact they don't charge me for their time at dinner helps my self-esteem to some degree (just not as much as you might think)

It's certainly possible having to take a break from female contact could make me more bitter.

 

[GoodMan32]

How is that an analogy though? You did not use the same sex with a woman. (ie if a woman refused to get attention from much younger man, she might at least be flattered to get attention from another woman). The issue is women have way too many options not to get attention from someone from the opposite sex period, whereas we as (incel) guys, don't get any attention from women at all, no matter what their age is. But it is still not the same thing.

Let me try a more meta example for you. You know about UFOs and grey aliens. You know the three foot tall critters with almond shaped eyes and a bulbus head. . Would you be flattered by their attention if it was sexual? Again, we can all agree there are limits. Someone who is bi-curious has different limits to someone who is just straight.

Ok, you make a good point. In the analogy about a straight woman getting attention from a guy younger than she'd like, at least he's from her preferred gender (whereas a gay guy giving me attention isn't even my preferred gender)

No, I wouldn't be flattered by sexual attention from an alien.

 

[Ricky]

I am pretty charismatic and have run with a big and diverse crowd over the years.

I get hit on by gay men way less than women and both are rare.

The times i've been hit it on by gay men, they liked my charisma in the group and decided to take a chance that i played for their team, or if i was dressed a little metro back in the day maybe it gave a mixed signal.

I'm surprised by how many people dislike gay men on this thread though. You could probably learn how to be more interesting from several of them. Stereotypical as it may be, they tend to be a lot more up on things that are of interest to straight women. Theater, the arts, etc. You could definitely up your class and Cassanova skills with the ladies if you have a few more gay friends. Plus most women aren't as homophobic as men (let's face it a decent number of women are bi).

I bet everyone could improve their looks a point or so on the scale if they consulted with a fashionable gay friend haha. Thats a stereotype of course, but since most heterosexual men nowadays are slobs.. (i am a former slob but reformed by many girlfriends and a wife with the sense to push me in the right direction).

 

[Bigpapa]

Based on my small stature, I'd guess the gays I get attention from want me to be the bottom.

In fact, one gay guy asked me specific questions about my cornhole.

You have your answer here

women are not sexually attracted to guys who gay guys perceive as passive

maximum they would just say “ he is cute “ but not in a sexual way

You need to manly up and not look/ give the vibes of some passive gay guy

 

[corrector]

You have your answer here

women are not sexually attracted to guys who gay guys perceive as passive

maximum they would just say “ he is cute “ but not in a sexual way

You need to manly up and not look/ give the vibes of some passive gay guy

Yeah, definitely avoid prison.

 

[HaleyBaron]

This thread went on a lot longer than it should.


How is it possible for gay guys to find a man extremely attractive, yet the ladies largely view him as invisible?

Neither of these two are connected the way you think they are. A man can be attractive to men and women. He can also be attractive to neither. There is no link here, so the discussion can't lead anywhere except to the obvious about gay intentions.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

This thread went on a lot longer than it should.


How is it possible for gay guys to find a man extremely attractive, yet the ladies largely view him as invisible?

Neither of these two are connected the way you think they are. A man can be attractive to men and women. He can also be attractive to neither. There is no link here, so the discussion can't lead anywhere except to the obvious about gay intentions.

Having both women and men (straight & gay) compliment my looks. I must assume there is some overlap.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Having both women and men (straight & gay) compliment my looks. I must assume there is some overlap.

The overlap stops at the fact of the orientation of the person. You can't compare a gay person's measurement of attraction to a non-gay person. Nor is a gay man and a woman comparable. Different brains, different genders.

It is like saying why do gay men like certain ice creams compared to the general female's taste in the same ice cream flavor. There's literally no connection of comparison.

 

[GoodMan32]

I'm not surprised by the homophobic members. Most of them probably imagine gay men prowling nightspots for vulnerable young men to subvert them to the dark side. In my experience, if the circumstances are in their favour, gay men tend to approach bolder, but as most of them know how violent the homophobic respond, they take rejection way more mature than women.

Finally we agree on something: A woman takes rejection much worse than a man does.

You have your answer here

women are not sexually attracted to guys who gay guys perceive as passive

maximum they would just say “ he is cute “ but not in a sexual way

You need to manly up and not look/ give the vibes of some passive gay guy

I get called cute a lot. Interestingly, the last woman I had non-escort sex with described me as cute. So did the woman who took my v-card (she was also a non-escort). My point: It's possible to get cooch from a woman who describes you as cute.

My perceived manliness level is all over the place. Even though a fair share of gay guys view me as a passive bottom, the general population mistakes me for a cop relatively often (cops are the epitome of manliness)

 

[GoodMan32]

Older women might be.


I'm sure he can get some senior citizen to let him watch her pee

Hmm, I'm intrigued to hear older women might not disqualify me based on submissiveness (and even more intrigued at the idea of watching a senior citizen woman pee)

Yeah, definitely avoid prison.

On that general topic, here's one double standard that pisses me off:

If a beautiful feminine tiny White woman commits a crime, the general public (in many cases, even the judge) says "There's no way we can incarcerate her. She'll never make it behind bars."

Yet men like me aren't given the same leeway. Even though we also could never make it behind bars (and we'd have to go to the more terrifying version of incarceration: a male facility)

 

[Hamurabimbi]

(and even more intrigued at the idea of watching a senior citizen woman pee)

 

[GoodMan32]

I suggest you volunteer at hospital wards for senior citizens. They may even demand that you sit around and watch them not fall from their bedpans and soil their bed. That way you can be a service sub and still get your jollies.

I'm not sure that's my cup of tea.

Senior citizen starts at 55. I'm attracted to plenty of 55 year olds.

On the other hand, it sounds like you're talking about 80+ year olds. That's too old for me.

 

[GoodMan32]

You certainly like to coquettishly parade your phobia around. But all your meowing about nubile fertile women is a smoke screen, because you can easily get a vasectomy.

Every time you mention 'fertile/fertility' or anything relating to the possibility of childbirth, it's just an excuse so you can be semi-publicly repulsed by this
View attachment 13689

While telling everyone how flattered you are to get compliments from
View attachment 13688

We're not judging, but like we suspected: you're on the wrong forum. I'm sure there's a SuavePillowBiters forum.

I meant to address these images.

Yeah, I'd be flattered to get attention from the gay man.

That being said, I'm totally attracted to the woman. Even if I wouldn't dare to insert myself (because she looks young enough to be dangerously fertile), I'd enjoy getting attention from her. And unlike with the gay man, I'd be glad to go beyond mere attention (just because I wouldn't have sex with a fertile woman doesn't mean I wouldn't mess around with her)

 

[Bigpapa]

My perceived manliness level is all over the place. Even though a fair share of gay guys view me as a passive bottom, the general population mistakes me for a cop relatively often (cops are the epitome of manliness)

Na man, cops are not the epitome of manliness. They are the epitome of a guy being seen as a weasel

absolutely no one likes cops or view them in a positive light, not even cops themselves

the epitome of manliness for guys in uniform are the firefighters

 

[GoodMan32]

Na man, cops are not the epitome of manliness. They are the epitome of a guy being seen as a weasel

absolutely no one likes cops or view them in a positive light, not even cops themselves

the epitome of manliness for guys in uniform are the firefighters

There's a lot of anti-cop sentiment, no doubt. That being said, at a store I worked at in the past, some of the female employees got a wide-on when hot young cops would come in as customers (One female employee was undocumented. You'd think she'd hate cops. Yet even she couldn't help but be attracted to cops)

I've also seen female employees at a cafe (I was there as a customer) flirt with cop customers.

 

[Bigpapa]

There's a lot of anti-cop sentiment, no doubt. That being said, at a store I worked at in the past, some of the female employees got a wide-on when hot young cops would come in as customers (One female employee was undocumented. You'd think she'd hate cops. Yet even she couldn't help but be attracted to cops)

I've also seen female employees at a cafe (I was there as a customer) flirt with cop customers.

Talking about exceptions does not mean that this is the norm

there are everywhere exceptions of rules, but you can not draw any conclusions more than that

But look man…you can believe whatever you like