How is it possible for gay guys to find a man extremely attractive, yet the ladies largely view him as invisible?

[Hamurabimbi]

Maybe I'm a special case in the sense that my attention from the ladies is severely lacking.

Women find 80% of men unattractive.
You are not a Special Case.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yet visible to gay guys.

Because they don't care about any of that. Gay guys are like the sluttiest women you would ever find.

 

[sevbucmash]

has hinted at being a top.

They must see a virgin and you and are eager to pop that cherry.

 

[corrector]

Maybe I'm a special case in the sense that my attention from the ladies is severely lacking.

Again, just to mention for the record, I'm a similar case as yours, if not worst, and I'm not going to dig attention from gay guys, and actually feel repusled by it. People who are good with women on here are replused by that. People, such as myself, are also repulsed by it.

I get your justification however, of using escorts, because of lack of attention from women because at least it's related to women. If you are not gay, which you've maintained, then it's an interesting you would like their attention.

 

[sevbucmash]

Again, just to mention for the record, I'm a similar case as yours, if not worst, and I'm not going to dig attention from gay guys, and actually feel repusled by it. People who are good with women on here are replused by that. People, such as myself, are also repulsed by it.

It sounds like you're expressing some strong feelings about the dynamics of attraction and attention. It's completely valid to feel repulsed by certain types of attention if they don't align with your identity or preferences. If you're not gay, obviously you don't want attention from gay people.

 

[corrector]

If you're not gay, obviously you don't want attention from gay people.

Exactly.

 

[GoodMan32]

Women find 80% of men unattractive.
You are not a Special Case.

The 80% thing is true.

The vast majority of men, when they were in high school, however, weren't viewed as the freak of the school/a freaky creep no girl would possibly want.

Because they don't care about any of that. Gay guys are like the sluttiest women you would ever find.

What a curse that I was born straight. If only I were born gay, I'd be slaying.

Again, just to mention for the record, I'm a similar case as yours, if not worst, and I'm not going to dig attention from gay guys, and actually feel repusled by it. People who are good with women on here are replused by that. People, such as myself, are also repulsed by it.

I get your justification however, of using escorts, because of lack of attention from women because at least it's related to women. If you are not gay, which you've maintained, then it's an interesting you would like their attention.

We have a lot in common, no doubt.

The fact you didn't have the experience of being viewed by your female classmates as a freaky creep no girls would possibly want in high school (because you had no female classmates) likely makes a difference, however.

 

[GoodMan32]

It sounds like you're expressing some strong feelings about the dynamics of attraction and attention. It's completely valid to feel repulsed by certain types of attention if they don't align with your identity or preferences. If you're not gay, obviously you don't want attention from gay people.

I don't necessarily want attention from gay guys. But I get attention from gay guys whether I like it or not.

I'm flattered by the attention.

As an analogy, even if a woman refuses to get with a much younger man, she might at least be flattered to get attention from much younger men.

 

[Gamisch]

You can keep saying that you're straight, but straight men don't feel flattered by attention from gay men and/or unattractive women.

Apart from loving attention from gay men, the whole defeminising language of using 'broads' and 'gals' and an abhorrence towards fertile females also shows significant sexual ambivalence towards the opposite sex.

I've seen threads being closed for less than this..I think everything that needed to be yold is said, and OP gotta take it to R/ by-curious now .

What more can we say?

 

[GoodMan32]

You can keep saying that you're straight, but straight men don't feel flattered by attention from gay men and/or unattractive women.

Apart from loving attention from gay men, the whole defeminising language of using 'broads' and 'gals' and an abhorrence towards fertile females also shows significant sexual ambivalence towards the opposite sex.

Or...drumroll...my abhorrence toward getting with a fertile woman stems from my phobia of pregnancy

I find fertile-aged gals plenty attractive. I just don't want to get with one (for fertility reasons)

 

[GoodMan32]

I've seen threads being closed for less than this..I think everything that needed to be yold is said, and OP gotta take it to R/ by-curious now .

What more can we say?

Umm, but I'm not bicurious.

 

[Gamisch]

Umm, but I'm not bicurious.

What more you wanna know?

Yes, men are sluts, both gay and straight men thus man /man attention is easier to obtain than female /male attention. Surprisingly you didn't know that..

What more you wanna know? How will this help you to get laid with WOMEN? Seems to me it actually pushes you away even further.

I don't condone violence but I seriously know dudes who will fight another man if the make sexual remarks out of nowhere. This will not help you improve with the ladies..

 

[GoodMan32]

What more you wanna know?

Yes, men are sluts, both gay and straight men thus man /man attention is easier to obtain than female /male attention. Surprisingly you didn't know that..

What more you wanna know? How will this help you to get laid with WOMEN? Seems to me it actually pushes you away even further.

I don't condone violence but I seriously know dudes who will fight another man if the make sexual remarks out of nowhere. This will not help you improve with the ladies..

It's been proposed in the thread that I come across as a submissive bottom (which would explain why gay guys are extremely into me, yet straight gals aren't)

When I first started the thread, my logic was "Gay guys treat me like I'm a Chad. Since Chads are one demographic the ladies will make the first move on, how come I get hardly any attention from the ladies?"

I'm beginning to see why the ladies don't make a move on me. Gay guys don't necessarily view me as a Chad; they have other reasons they like me.

 

[Gamisch]

It's been proposed in the thread that I come across as a submissive bottom (which would explain why gay guys are extremely into me, yet straight gals aren't)

When I first started the thread, my logic was "Gay guys treat me like I'm a Chad. Since Chads are one demographic the ladies will make the first move on, how come I get hardly any attention from the ladies?"

I'm beginning to see why the ladies don't make a move on me. Gay guys don't necessarily view me as a Chad; they have other reasons they like me.

So you answered your own question...

I've been approached by plenty of women, and let me tell you; it's a stupid game to play. You'll get lazy and rob yourself from the experience of actually growing a pair.

Your ONLY option is to radically change your image. Don't count on women approaching you/ don't hold your breath on it. It's still rare.

What you can do however, is work on shyte that needs work so you can increase the amount of attention you'll get. That advice is for both men and women.

 

[GoodMan32]

So you answered your own question...

I've been approached by plenty of women, and let me tell you; it's a stupid game to play. You'll get lazy and rob yourself from the experience of actually growing a pair.

Your ONLY option is to radically change your image. Don't count on women approaching you/ don't hold your breath on it. It's still rare.

What you can do however, is work on shyte that needs work so you can increase the amount of attention you'll get. That advice is for both men and women.

If I were to start approaching gals, one of 3 outcomes could happen:

A] I end up being surprised (in a good way) by having pretty good luck with the ladies

B] I end up having no luck with the ladies, thus killing my self-esteem even more

C] I end up having a tiny amount of luck (but get rejected the vast majority of the time). It's questionable as to whether this would really help in the end.

A is the best case scenario. Based on past experience, however, B or C are more likely.

 

[Gamisch]

If I were to start approaching gals, one of 3 outcomes could happen:

A] I end up being surprised (in a good way) by having pretty good luck with the ladies

B] I end up having no luck with the ladies, thus killing my self-esteem even more

C] I end up having a tiny amount of luck (but get rejected the vast majority of the time). It's questionable as to whether this would really help in the end.

A is the best case scenario. Based on past experience, however, B or C are more likely.

If you keep doing what you're doing( definition of insanity) you will also end up with B and C anyway.

Seems like you got something to lose still. Your self esteem?

That shows you are actually quite the egocentric person. Your pride is more important to you than your pleasure . Even if you end up being alone and miserable..

By the way STOP saying galls. It's women/ girls/ females/or ladies. Plenty of choices to pick from.

 

[corrector]

The fact you didn't have the experience of being viewed by your female classmates as a freaky creep no girls would possibly want in high school (because you had no female classmates) likely makes a difference, however.

You are visiting escorts which means you are used to having allot of options with women who like you enough to take your money. You had dinner with escorts off the clock (ie which at this point, they are not working, they are dealing with you in an organic social level as they did not charge you for that). If you are seeing escorts, then you should not use that as excuse as you are not too creepy for a women to deal with you that way.

Have you ever been rejected by an escort? Has an escort ever told you that you were a freaky creep and she did not want your money or to have anything to do with you? Your visits with the escorts are not healing you from the trauma you experienced in High School? They are women too right? They are supposed to fix those issues. Are you picking the right types of escorts that are providing therapy for these insecurities and past?

With your living arrangements right now, you were taking a break from seeing them for a while. Do you think that has gotten to your head to make you a bit more cynical/bitter since you have not had female contact with them in a while?

 

[corrector]

As an analogy, even if a woman refuses to get with a much younger man, she might at least be flattered to get attention from much younger men.

How is that an analogy though? You did not use the same sex with a woman. (ie if a woman refused to get attention from much younger man, she might at least be flattered to get attention from another woman). The issue is women have way too many options not to get attention from someone from the opposite sex period, whereas we as (incel) guys, don't get any attention from women at all, no matter what their age is. But it is still not the same thing.

Let me try a more meta example for you. You know about UFOs and grey aliens. You know the three foot tall critters with almond shaped eyes and a bulbus head. . Would you be flattered by their attention if it was sexual? Again, we can all agree there are limits. Someone who is bi-curious has different limits to someone who is just straight.

 

[GoodMan32]

If you keep doing what you're doing( definition of insanity) you will also end up with B and C anyway.

Seems like you got something to lose still. Your self esteem?

That shows you are actually quite the egocentric person. Your pride is more important to you than your pleasure . Even if you end up being alone and miserable..

By the way STOP saying galls. It's women/ girls/ females/or ladies. Plenty of choices to pick from.

Sheesh. Some take issue with the word broads; some take issue with the word gals.

I hate the word women. I've been told the term females is demeaning. The term girls doesn't sound right unless she's below 30. I guess that only leaves the term ladies.

Anyway, to address the rest of your post, yeah, my self-esteem is extremely important to me. My self-esteem is already at sea level as it is. If I take any more blows to my self-esteem, I'm going to need New Orleans levees for my self-esteem.

In the song "If I Surrender" by The Color Fred, he has a line "They took from you all they could get; you hold on tight to what is left." That line sums up my attitude toward my self-esteem.

Yeah, using my current strategy, I end up alone and miserable. Yet if I were to try more (but ultimately fail) with the ladies, I'd still be alone and miserable...and I'd have even lower self-esteem than I currently do (In other words, I'd be even worse off)

I've mentioned on the forum before that I have a flirtatious reportoire with a woman in her 60s who works for a different company in my office building. I mentioned to her once (when discussing the general topic of dating) there's a school of thought that says you can get over a fear of rejection by getting rejected a lot. She said it's just as likely getting rejected a lot could make one hate rejection even more.

 

[Gamisch]

Sheesh. Some take issue with the word broads; some take issue with the word gals.

I hate the word women. I've been told the term females is demeaning. The term girls doesn't sound right unless she's below 30. I guess that only leaves the term ladies.

Anyway, to address the rest of your post, yeah, my self-esteem is extremely important to me. My self-esteem is already at sea level as it is. If I take any more blows to my self-esteem, I'm going to need New Orleans levees for my self-esteem.

In the song "If I Surrender" by The Color Fred, he has a line "They took from you all they could get; you hold on tight to what is left." That line sums up my attitude toward my self-esteem.

Yeah, using my current strategy, I end up alone and miserable. Yet if I were to try more (but ultimately fail) with the ladies, I'd still be alone and miserable...and I'd have even lower self-esteem than I currently do (In other words, I'd be even worse off)

I've mentioned on the forum before that I have a flirtatious reportoire with a woman in her 60s who works for a different company in my office building. I mentioned to her once (when discussing the general topic of dating) there's a school of thought that says you can get over a fear of rejection by getting rejected a lot. She said it's just as likely getting rejected a lot could make one hate rejection even more.

You rather take advice from ONE 60y.o woman than from 20 dudes who are actually out there in the trenches?

Close this thread mods. It's ugly at best.