"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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How is complimenting "needy"

rrrrr

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Can someone explain how you are "needy" and "needy for approval" when you give compliments?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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SamTheHobit

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I don't see how compliments are needy.

If anything giving complements shows you have value.
 

Starrie

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The value of compliments depends on context and frequency.

Complimenting too much is like being a clown and constantly laying on the jokes, especially via text. It's begging for a reaction and she sees that. Try attaching compliments to other things so that they aren't so glaring and 'ta-da, look at me'.

Ex:
HER: To be honest, I'm usually into men a little older than you lol.
YOU: To be honest I normally go for girls [her age range]. The conversation is just better. You look like you're [four years younger than she is], but I'll let it slide.
 

The Gambler

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Starrie said:
The value of compliments depends on context and frequency.

Complimenting too much is like being a clown and constantly laying on the jokes, especially via text. It's begging for a reaction and she sees that. Try attaching compliments to other things so that they aren't so glaring and 'ta-da, look at me'.

Ex:
HER: To be honest, I'm usually into men a little older than you lol.
YOU: To be honest I normally go for girls [her age range]. The conversation is just better. You look like you're [four years younger than she is], but I'll let it slide.

^^^^ Good stuff right here.

The older you get, the more weight compliments seem to carry.... Especially as you learn to be more subtle and observant with your compliments. Women LOVE IT when you notice small details about their appearance and personalities.

Trying to shove a rose down a woman's throat while telling her she's the finest b!tch in the club ain't the way to do it, fo' sho'.
 

Boilermaker

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Note the difference between the word

compliment

and

complement.

You guys are meaning to have an intellectual discussion. Write intellectually, then.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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cola

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Boilermaker said:
Note the difference between the word

compliment

and

complement.

You guys are meaning to have an intellectual discussion. Write intellectually, then.
Dude, they are trying to improve their game, not grammer *****ng relax.
Good post, good replies good stuff.
 

VladPatton

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Too many compliments show desperation, that you are kissing her aṣṣ, and that you want to bang her while offering dıck on a silver platter. Ease it up, reduce them, and be more detailed about them. The Gambler is right with the observatory compliments.

For example, I once complimented a chick on how her nail color matches her shirt. Bıtch, loved it, was giddy with an "oh you noticed!" vibe. Be like a spy and notice everything so you can be unique with your rare, but well chosen, compliment.
 

muscleman

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Rule of thumb:

A compliment IS needy when you expect reciprocation of any kind.

*A compliment IS NOT needy when you don't expect reciprocation of any kind.

*Caveat: too many seemingly undeserved compliments (as perceived by the receiver, not you) greatly reduces the chance of any sexually favorable actions towards you, whether that's your goal or not.

Complimenting can be a great game tool, if used properly. There's a boring, cliche way to compliment ('you look beautiful tonight') and a fun, teasing way to do it ('I like your hair, can't wait to pull it').
 

Dryden

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muscleman said:
('I like your hair, can't wait to pull it').
remembering that one lol.

now translate it to my mother tongue because my confidence is messed up (I'm way more confident in English than in Dutch at least in written language because I've read so much pua gaming stuff.)

"Ik vind je haar leuk, kan niet wachten om er aan te trekken."

Funny thing is that "trekken" alludes to masturbation as well.

Like saying to a girl. "I want to hug you all night long."

lol! maybe a bit too obvious? ;-)
 
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