I.e fat vs skinny vs muscular,when attracting chicks? I have always been a bit fat,this has somewhat bothered me,as have 50 million other things about myself,I don't know if neurotic is the word. Anyways,any thoughts?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
How important is weight?
- Thread starter ItsOnNow
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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I like what the poster smoothguy once said and basically it was that you can usually only truly be confident in life when you are proud of the body you are in as then the confidence flows more naturally as you aren't absorbed in the inner struggle of constantly fighting insecurities about your appearance.
Strongsauce
Don Juan
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If you're only a bit fat, why not lose that little bit and see if anything is different? I bagged my first girlie after I dropped 30 lbs. It only took me about 2.5 months to do it too. Just do some cardio excercise every day for 30minutes. Start with cycling if you're not used to it, and then work your way up to running/treadmill. Oh and change your daily diet to the following and don't mess with it until you're happy with how you look:
Two eggs + dry whole grain toast in the morning
Sandwiches with either roast beef, ham, turkey, or chicken for lunch and dinner. No mayo or any miracle whip bull****. Mustard is cool. Subway pretty much has you covered if you're too lazy to buy ingredients/make sandwiches for yourself. Don't get anything bigger than a 6 in. This'll help you control your portion sizes.
Drink only water with every meal.
It'll be hell for the first few days or so but you do get used to it and its actually kinda nice because you don't have to ever think about what you want to eat. You just eat the same **** everyday so you know.
No bull****, its extreme, but it works. For losing weight anyway. Now for losing weight and gaining muscle... well that's a mystery to me.
Two eggs + dry whole grain toast in the morning
Sandwiches with either roast beef, ham, turkey, or chicken for lunch and dinner. No mayo or any miracle whip bull****. Mustard is cool. Subway pretty much has you covered if you're too lazy to buy ingredients/make sandwiches for yourself. Don't get anything bigger than a 6 in. This'll help you control your portion sizes.
Drink only water with every meal.
It'll be hell for the first few days or so but you do get used to it and its actually kinda nice because you don't have to ever think about what you want to eat. You just eat the same **** everyday so you know.
No bull****, its extreme, but it works. For losing weight anyway. Now for losing weight and gaining muscle... well that's a mystery to me.
Im starting to think about not eating for a week,I can't bring myself to do that. I can't bring myself to even try and lose the weight,cause I have felt out of it for so long. Like I am used to feeling this way,and there is no way out. Like,I am trapped in this. I had surgery a few years ago,and lost alot of weight.But gained it over time.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Strongsauce
Don Juan
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Me? 19
What the hell? That will only train your body to hold fat.ItsOnNow said:
You need to research if you really want to get in shape. If you want to become muscular so women approach you, you will need to do lots of study and hard work. It will take years.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Is it that fat is unmasculine? I have never considered or saw myself as feminine,or in touch with that side,nor have I ever been an overtly macho type either. Hell,I don't know what I am. I look at stuff like here,and plentyoffish,interesting site,and I don't know if that helps or not.
http://www.powerliftingwatch.com/node/4420
Try this, powerlifting gyms are great supportive environments, usually with big guys happy to help.
Try this, powerlifting gyms are great supportive environments, usually with big guys happy to help.
Not eating will give minor results, but your body will go into starvation mode. Meaning it will start to hoard food you give it straight to bodyfat as soon as you start eating.ItsOnNow said:
One key is to eat MANY times a day, 6,8,10+ just in smaller amounts. Your metabolism will increase instead of slowing down. Think if it as throwing bits of wood, etc into a fire, rather then a giant log. The fire will grow stronger if you feed it lightly and frequently.
Also know when NOT to take in simple carbs. In the morning, its no big deal. Noon and on ill eat anything that contains fat and protein, but very few carbs. Not against carbs, Its just knowing when to eat them. (Breakfast, and pre/post-workout)
Bullsh!t. Its not that you cant, you just wont. Make up your mind, if you want to drop weight, just start and stick to it. Consistency is the key, start and stick with it. If you wont, well then I guess you just dont want it.ItsOnNow said:
Ive thought those thoughts before, its as simple as stopping the excuses and just doing it. Its just a matter of doing it. Its going to take time, but chances are you've thought this over a long time ago. You'd be done by now if you started when you 1st thought about it, lol.
IMHO, it just sounds like all you need is a good kick in the ass. If you wont get off your ass and watch out for yourself, no one else will. If you're going to be all down, etc. Why would anyone want to be around you? Yet alone screw you... Doesnt that piss you off? Its not that fat is feminine, its just that its...fat. If you dont care how you present yourself, well, that says a lot about you. Most wont say that, but everyone judges everyone.
Drop your weight,hit the gym, do whatever it takes to get your head out of your ass and get some confidence going. Unless you dont want to? Thats something you need figure out, but it sure doesnt sound like you're happy the way things are right now. Figure out what you want, and do something about it.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
fresh_to_death
Don Juan
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Get in shape, PERIOD. I was about 227 at 5'9" a few years back(19 y/o) when I started at a job with my bro. I was chubby my whole life and I never really thought about it. Due to the physical nature of the job I decided to cut down on junk food so I could keep up with the pace at the job. Not eating healthy or anything, just cut out chips, candy bars, soda and most fast food. I ended up dropping down to about 182 pounds after a year and a half. I was still a bit over weight, but I had way more muscle and facial definition. It didn't hurt that I had sort of a baby face also.ItsOnNow said:
I swear up and down to you that chicks started coming at me left and right everywhere. I didn't have to say ****. I had girls going out of their way and saying the absolute craziest **** to open me up. You won't believe how vapid women are. I got into a lot of trouble right off the bat. They say they want nice guys and don't care what you look like.
SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET.
Just do it, man. You will gain energy as you start whipping yourself into shape. It will be rough for like a week or two, but then it's all smooth sailing. It's easy to lose the weight, it's just a ***** to keep it off.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Your charming personality and PUA skills wont make you look any better with your shirt off.
My personal opinion falls in the minority here from what I've read.ItsOnNow said:
I'd recommend you aim, first, for health. Shoot for BMI somewhere between 22-25, make sure and have plenty of aerobic exercise to offset anaerobic and strength building. I have met too many women that have overtly stated they are turned off by meatheads. If you don't know what I mean by meathead, go to your local Gold's Gym, and if you see one of those huge guys looking in the mirror at himself less than one foot from it, that's who I'm referring too.
My recommendation isn't just because that's what they're attracted to. Its because you'll feel better having a body that's working optimally - not just muscle, but also a healthy circulatory system. Healthy, high energy men have the drive and spirit to pursue women, and the stamina to have se* over, and over, and over ;-)
I'm 5'11, 165, play tennis most everynight, and just feel awesome most days. I don't feel hindered one bit because I'm not, say, 190-200 like some would recommend in our health forum.
JackPrescott
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Great advice, and I'll take it myself, for gaining muscle, just join a REAL gym, like a 24/7 or a Defined Fitness, and ask the trainers for help, they HAVE to help you, and are happy to. Start on a real basic program, and hit it hard, and you'll see results, it wont automatically gain female interest, and females are usually sexually retarded, but it's fun when a sub par specimen of a male looks on you with jealousy. Great boost for the old Ego.Strongsauce said:
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.