Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

How has dating changed in the past 10 years?

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,068
Reaction score
10,352
1. Women are less ambitious in dating and more insecure. They are more likely to date down in the relationship context. This is annoying it narrows your options as a guy to a limited range of women that are often too attractive for stability.

4. Women's standards are obviously much higher and they are more likely to dump boyfriends for natural aging like balding. Unrealistic expectations in general.
These two statement conflict. Why date down when you have hundreds of more options than your age equivalent did in 1990? How is it possible to date down when standards are unrealistic.

2. Hypergamy is more alpha/beta style or outright polyandry than it is chasing the bigger better deal/greener grass that it was in the past. Being well rounded does not seem to be as desirable being such a market, so I think man that are above average but not very attractive are going to see the biggest decline in overall success.
Are you talking about the 5.5-7 in looks only? I've been occupying that space in looks. It's been a beast to date throughout the whole 20+ years.

7. Social circles and social scenes are no longer meat markets because the women have too much anxiety to date in the group. They're addicted to the freedom of online dating.
Your conclusion on social circles is supported by data points. Yes, I think part of why social circle formations have declined is that women have been addicted to the freedom of online dating. Online dating and getting approached by strangers are often frictionless environments for women. A woman can behave as badly as she wants to with swipe app and cold approach guys and face no consequence for it. A woman's social circle is not informed every time that she ghosts, flakes, acts rude, etc. with men where she's not socially tied to them (swipe app and strange approaches). In social circles, she'd never be able to get away with such bad behavior because she'd have to hear about it from the social circle.

I also think social circle formations are also declining because more people have weaker social ties. Social media and the internet has made us more reclusive, a trend that started with the growth of high speed internet access in the 2000s. Every relocation weakens your social circle. I've never had a good social circle due to my earlier life relocations. The guys with the best social circles are the guys who had the fortune of staying the same area from birth - high school graduation and live in that same area as adults.

How Heterosexual Couples Meet.jpg


3. The sex is just wild today. Women will do almost anything in bed.

Roosh reported that in 2018.
 

biggoal

Banned
Joined
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
3,699
Reaction score
801
Age
40
Some specifics I've seen:

1. Women are less ambitious in dating and more insecure. They are more likely to date down in the relationship context. This is annoying it narrows your options as a guy to a limited range of women that are often too attractive for stability.
2. Hypergamy is more alpha/beta style or outright polyandry than it is chasing the bigger better deal/greener grass that it was in the past. Being well rounded does not seem to be as desirable being such a market, so I think man that are above average but not very attractive are going to see the biggest decline in overall success.
3. The sex is just wild today. Women will do almost anything in bed.
4. Women's standards are obviously much higher and they are more likely to dump boyfriends for natural aging like balding. Unrealistic expectations in general.
5. Basically everyone I dated 10 years ago wanted to lock me down but now is mostly casual. I can tell that my overall value has dropped in relation to women's expectations although you wouldn't know it based on the quality of what I've dated. Just the numbers/volume. Quality has gone up in many ways.
6. Even though my value has dropped the women have gotten even better looking than what I was dating back then. This is that range I was referring to. I would prefer to have many more options bc I am not looks obsessed, but I seem priced out.
7. Social circles and social scenes are no longer meat markets because the women have too much anxiety to date in the group. They're addicted to the freedom of online dating.
8. Explosion of anxiety disorders generally.
Then why on old are so many of the women fat?
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,068
Reaction score
10,352
Read in conjunction with #2. Why *date* a risky partner when you have already slept with such a guy hundreds of times? No need to risk it.
I'm on the right track in understanding. That alpha fuccks/beta bucks or outright polyandry thing seems more like a San Francisco, Portland, Seattle thing where there are too many betas/simps. Lots of Aspie tech guys will take a polyandry beta position rather than go full incel. Ratios in all 3 of those cities stink. Lots of SJW/feminist women. Other markets might still look more for the one guy that is an upgrade over having a rotation.
 

BadBoy89

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2020
Messages
1,709
Reaction score
2,009
Just curious how dating has changed in the past 10 years?
Obviously, dating is going to be different for a man in his 20's than in his 30s and 40s.

In my experience, girls in their 20s were much much easier to sleep with than girls in their early or late 30s. I've been with divorced women in the later 30's who won't do anything and act worse than virgins. I've been out single mothers who won't do anything. When I was younger the girl's tongue would be down my throat pretty fast after one dinner. Now, I've had women say "Yes we can go out for dinner but you can't touch me." I had another girl say "Don't touch me." I touched another girl on the arm *a little* too long and she said "hey, hey, what are you doing?"

If a lot of girls are doing it maybe it's my problem. A lot of issues I run into are with girls are in the West, when I talk to girls in the East, it's much much different; almost shockingly different.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,105
Reaction score
4,853
Age
33
I've been in a relationship for almost 7 years so I'm pretty out of touch.

Just curious how dating has changed in the past 10 years?

What's your experience from dating women 10 years ago to dating women in this day and age?
Women are skiing down cawk mountain. Out getting ran through. Lining up a cuck on for when the milk goes bad.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,105
Reaction score
4,853
Age
33
I'm on the right track in understanding. That alpha fuccks/beta bucks or outright polyandry thing seems more like a San Francisco, Portland, Seattle thing where there are too many betas/simps. Lots of Aspie tech guys will take a polyandry beta position rather than go full incel. Ratios in all 3 of those cities stink. Lots of SJW/feminist women. Other markets might still look more for the one guy that is an upgrade over having a rotation.
Lulz I remember jlaix going off on portly Seattle women.
 

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,021
Reaction score
2,057
Location
Inside her mind
the biggest change is a majority of men have become simps,
and a majority of women have unknowingly become a step up from a stripper/escort,

another samll majority have actually benefited from the social media age of dating and are able to date women and men that they would have never before,
another even smaller majority of men and women are not dating at all

10 years ago if you got a girls number it was almost a 90% chance you would hook up, now its a 90% you will not.
Yup the last 10 years I've noticed #metoo and identity politics have really done a number on both men and women, to the point now that dating the average woman is like dating a dude minus a penis. It's totally bizzaro world. I've also noticed the average guy compared to 10 years ago is softer and lacks resilience and tenacity. 10 years ago you had to go outside for the most part to meet women yes online dating existed but the club/nightlife scene was an avenue to test your skills. Now in some cities, you can't even go out on a Friday or Saturday night cause covid19 killed the nightlife. It just seems so many men have given up not just on women but on life hence you see the rise of the Blackpill a depressing state for modern men. Even grown men in their 30s who would rather live at home with mom and dad than get their own apartment. The access of adult movies and now free legal Mary Jane has made both men and women lazier. Another reason why I think obesity is high cause everyone is getting high!
Our lack of formality and commitment is breeding insecurity into our relationships. “Casual” dating has become so rampant that nobody knows what they want anymore, or what works.

I look at the love of my grandparents and I see stark contrasts to how people conduct themselves in relationships today. They put a lot of work in, on the front end, and they got a LOT of life and love out of them - until death.

Dating is hard now because everyone wants it to be easy! Expect it to be work, because you are developing the most intimate, personal, and possibly the most important relationship you will ever have in your life. And if you do not look at EVERY potential date in that manner, than you will get out exactly what you put in. Nothing.

In the past People generally dated for shorter periods of time, got engaged sooner, and wed much earlier than modern counterparts. It was not uncommon for a couple to be married with children before they reached age 30. On the contrast, people will now date for MONTHS before they even make the dating exclusive. They will wait LITERAL YEARS before getting engaged. This waiting period, I believe, instills a lack of confidence into the relationship. It is like window shopping. You can only window shop for so long before it becomes obvious that you do not want the product.
This is also a major issue no one puts forth any effort. Women are "****amtized" by to many previous sexual advances. The bubblyness that you use to get from women in their 20s is already gone before they leave college nowadays. Women will now disqualify you for your politics(and other silly reasons), 10 years ago women would seldom asked me political quesitons on a first date. It was all about getting to know you, now if you say you like Trump, forget about it, 9 times out of 10 you will never see her again. At least 10 years ago a woman would tolerate your politics if you weren't obnoxious about it. Now forget it

The one aspect that has got easier, if you are man who has his stuff together. Women will be more compliant, They will even come to your spot for the first date. The truth is most men nowadays can't compete so if you have your stuff together you stand out even more. There are lot of guys out here that are losers i.e. live at their momma's house in their 30s, are broke in their 40s, suffer from ED in their 20s
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
5,189
Reaction score
7,442
Age
47
Yup the last 10 years I've noticed #metoo and identity politics have really done a number on both men and women, to the point now that dating the average woman is like dating a dude minus a penis. It's totally bizzaro world. I've also noticed the average guy compared to 10 years ago is softer and lacks resilience and tenacity. 10 years ago you had to go outside for the most part to meet women yes online dating existed but the club/nightlife scene was an avenue to test your skills. Now in some cities, you can't even go out on a Friday or Saturday night cause covid19 killed the nightlife. It just seems so many men have given up not just on women but on life hence you see the rise of the Blackpill a depressing state for modern men. Even grown men in their 30s who would rather live at home with mom and dad than get their own apartment. The access of adult movies and now free legal Mary Jane has made both men and women lazier. Another reason why I think obesity is high cause everyone is getting high!


This is also a major issue no one puts forth any effort. Women are "****amtized" by to many previous sexual advances. The bubblyness that you use to get from women in their 20s is already gone before they leave college nowadays. Women will now disqualify you for your politics(and other silly reasons), 10 years ago women would seldom asked me political quesitons on a first date. It was all about getting to know you, now if you say you like Trump, forget about it, 9 times out of 10 you will never see her again. At least 10 years ago a woman would tolerate your politics if you weren't obnoxious about it. Now forget it

The one aspect that has got easier, if you are man who has his stuff together. Women will be more compliant, They will even come to your spot for the first date. The truth is most men nowadays can't compete so if you have your stuff together you stand out even more. There are lot of guys out here that are losers i.e. live at their momma's house in their 30s, are broke in their 40s, suffer from ED in their 20s
This one got turned on when I told her she scored extra points with her shirt. Happy Friday to everyoneScreenshot_20230724_105722_Hinge.jpg. Get out and live life this wknd. Try and Forget about the doom and gloom.
 

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,021
Reaction score
2,057
Location
Inside her mind
This one got turned on when I told her she scored extra points with her shirt. Happy Friday to everyoneView attachment 12201. Get out and live life this wknd. Try and Forget about the doom and gloom.
God lord brother handle that!!!!!

Hope she got the cakes to match lol

and you're right the doom and gloom sucks but hey I'm at the office for another 6 hours until I head out
 

Mertz09

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 11, 2024
Messages
195
Reaction score
116
I’ve been rejected for the STUPIDEST reasons that I would have NEVER been rejected for 10 or more years ago. Had one women tell me “I didn’t appreciate you trying to kiss me on the first date, we only knew each other for two hours!” I mean what the fvck? You’re 35 god damn years old and acting like a spoiled brat child. If I hadn’t tried to kiss you you’d complain I wasn’t interested or you couldn’t tell. Just dumb **** like that I didn’t have to put up with back in the day.
"Never be friends with women. If you want a friend or a companion, get a dog."
This is true; a dog will never complain if you try to kiss them on the 1st date. LOL
 

Mertz09

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 11, 2024
Messages
195
Reaction score
116
Our lack of formality and commitment is breeding insecurity into our relationships. “Casual” dating has become so rampant that nobody knows what they want anymore, or what works.

I look at the love of my grandparents and I see stark contrasts to how people conduct themselves in relationships today. They put a lot of work in, on the front end, and they got a LOT of life and love out of them - until death.

Dating is hard now because everyone wants it to be easy! Expect it to be work, because you are developing the most intimate, personal, and possibly the most important relationship you will ever have in your life. And if you do not look at EVERY potential date in that manner, than you will get out exactly what you put in. Nothing.

In the past People generally dated for shorter periods of time, got engaged sooner, and wed much earlier than modern counterparts. It was not uncommon for a couple to be married with children before they reached age 30. On the contrast, people will now date for MONTHS before they even make the dating exclusive. They will wait LITERAL YEARS before getting engaged. This waiting period, I believe, instills a lack of confidence into the relationship. It is like window shopping. You can only window shop for so long before it becomes obvious that you do not want the product.
"Dating is hard now because everyone wants it to be easy! Expect it to be work, because you are developing the most intimate, personal, and possibly the most important relationship you will ever have in your life. And if you do not look at EVERY potential date in that manner, than you will get out exactly what you put in. Nothing."

Agree; This reminds me of when I was fresh out of collage in my 20s when me and the Boys hit the bars and clubs on a regular basis.
We had a gal friend that hung out with us, (she was actually a very good dancer, C&W) She told me and a friend one night after we blew-off some chick "You know y'all, that girl may have been the best thing that could ever happen to you in your life, but you will never know now." I remember thinking that "Yeah, she may be onto something" So did I learn from that? No, I was 26 and clueless and still had a lot to learn.
 

HaleyBaron

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 25, 2021
Messages
2,257
Reaction score
1,950
"Dating is hard now because everyone wants it to be easy! Expect it to be work, because you are developing the most intimate, personal, and possibly the most important relationship you will ever have in your life. And if you do not look at EVERY potential date in that manner, than you will get out exactly what you put in. Nothing."

Agree; This reminds me of when I was fresh out of collage in my 20s when me and the Boys hit the bars and clubs on a regular basis.
We had a gal friend that hung out with us, (she was actually a very good dancer, C&W) She told me and a friend one night after we blew-off some chick "You know y'all, that girl may have been the best thing that could ever happen to you in your life, but you will never know now." I remember thinking that "Yeah, she may be onto something" So did I learn from that? No, I was 26 and clueless and still had a lot to learn.
"At least we know it ain't you."

Would have been my response.
 

Ricky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2002
Messages
3,914
Reaction score
702
Age
50
Interesting thread
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,614
Reaction score
6,452
Age
55
Another thing I've noticed Men have no standards in 2024, this girl is hard 3-4 yet half of the men in this picture are Chad's or Chad lites lmfaoo
Yikes indeed. Those are not Chads or Chad lites. Well the dude in the lower right corner is a handsome guy. The rest are average at best.
 

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,021
Reaction score
2,057
Location
Inside her mind
Another thing I've noticed is Money matters a lot more. With Social media putting a spotlight on traveling and "Soft life" etc a lot of women now are seeing how the top 10% of women live i.e. fancy dining, and traveling. etc I'm not saying money matters for every woman but there is a group of women (the smokeshows, the plain janes, basic chicks who come from the burbs etc) women who come from a background of money or have their own money may entertain a broke guy for a fling but they won't take him seriously. A lot of women make more money than they were making 10 years ago, especially pretty women. Money matters especially if you're a guy 30+ some women may disqualify you just because you don't make enough. Money also is becoming a bigger issue since covid19 things have become more expensive.

Yikes indeed. Those are not Chads or Chad lites. Well the dude in the lower right corner is a handsome guy. The rest are average at best.
These guys would be above average(minus one or two) in Wisconsin not sure where they are from but if they are dealing with that, the state of dating is bad. 20 years ago this chick would have been with a guy her looks-matched and been happy
 

Giovanni SouthSide

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2022
Messages
561
Reaction score
687
Age
33
Location
Tijuana, Mexico
We live in a consumer society, and we literally now also consume people.

Dating is now an industry in of its self, and partners go out of fashion no different to last years clothing fashion trend.

The dating game is completely alien to how it used to be. Simply being not bad looking, a half decent job and no cheating vibes (you used to be a 9/10 at one time with these features) just doesn't cut it anymore.

Social media fundamentally altered the landscape when it took off big (combined with smartphones) in the early-mid 2010s. These technologies allowed for the creation of new virtual social networks and low-cost, instantaneous means to status signal. Social circles, which had been hollowed and dried out, suddenly became much more rigid and clearly defined. As an end result, the “lone wolf” can no longer sneak around in the shadows. He is quickly sussed out as not belonging to the pack.
 

Ricky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2002
Messages
3,914
Reaction score
702
Age
50
Here is something i am noticing from alot of people… both men and women

Relationships are accelerating in speed. Its as if people are desperately throwing themselves into new ones and all timetables are sped up

i am not just talking about sex, its normal to want that quickly, but i mean the speed at which people get in super deep with someone new.

i see it with almost all my women friends and alot of guy friends. Maybe its a reaction to market forces and all the competition out there.

You barely know someone from online then next thing you know they are talking about moving in together or more.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
12,068
Reaction score
10,352
Money matters especially if you're a guy 30+ some women may disqualify you just because you don't make enough.
We have a thread that was popular in 2023 here about how men in the high five figures/low six figures ($75k-125k annual salary) are getting crapped on in the dating market. There are a good portion men in their 30s/early 40s in that salary range. That salary range is most US cities makes you semi-successful.


To get an age gap of 10+ years, a man needs money. Men often need money to attract and retain similarly aged women in their 30s/40s.

Another thing I've noticed Men have no standards in 2024, this girl is hard 3-4 yet half of the men in this picture are Chad's or Chad lites lmfaoo
Those are not Chads or Chad lites. Well the dude in the lower right corner is a handsome guy. The rest are average at best.
These guys would be above average(minus one or two) in Wisconsin not sure where they are from but if they are dealing with that, the state of dating is bad. 20 years ago this chick would have been with a guy her looks-matched and been happy
@Solomon is correct that the woman is below average in looks. He called her 3-4 range which is about correct. If she's a below average woman, her looks match should be a below average man. I thought those men were at least average and there were some slightly above average men in there. She was doing quite well for a below average looking woman in terms of quantity and quality.
 
Top