Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

how far to go during push/pull

bumblebee

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 11, 2007
Messages
13
Reaction score
0
im in college and displayed some interest in this girl (known her for like 5 weeks), but when she started giving me the LJBF vibe, i started not caring as much and invested a lot less energy in her. 3 weeks later, i think i have been getting some IOIs..though not obvious ones...it's a hunch. accidental push/pull here?

would it be accurate to say that you question things she does when she interacts with you and think whether or not she does that with her normal friends. if it seems as though she went out of her way (let's say she randomly called one night and asked if i wanted a snack that she can bring over to my place)...its an IOI? she has called me up to play tennis and for random visits at my place. i dont call her anymore.

anyway, i think im gonna ask her out to lunch at school next week and then do some kino. should i ask her on a date then or should i push her a little more and ask her out later that week (pull).
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

MotownMack

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2008
Messages
373
Reaction score
11
I'm just curious what does IOI mean?

Indicator of interest.

My initial two thoughts are

1) Why ask for something that sounds like a date if she's hanging with you anyway, and risk her declining or putting up her b1tch shield? IMO, it's too your advantage to develop some attraction when she isn't expecting it.

2) It was a short post, but it sounds like you are the express train to "friendszone" (best not to be aboard when it pulls in). And you absolutely will be if in the context of these meetings, you keep hanging out with her, but are not moving things forward and you allow her to get too comfortable with you.
 

bumblebee

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 11, 2007
Messages
13
Reaction score
0
how am i going into the friendzone if i dont even initiate most of the stuff we end up doing? doesnt that mean she has some kind of interest if shes the one contacting me? im confused. i thought i was doing ok, we havent hung out THAT much one on one. usually its just casual stuff chit chat after class with some of our other classmates.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Top