"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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how far to go during push/pull

B

bumblebee

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im in college and displayed some interest in this girl (known her for like 5 weeks), but when she started giving me the LJBF vibe, i started not caring as much and invested a lot less energy in her. 3 weeks later, i think i have been getting some IOIs..though not obvious ones...it's a hunch. accidental push/pull here?

would it be accurate to say that you question things she does when she interacts with you and think whether or not she does that with her normal friends. if it seems as though she went out of her way (let's say she randomly called one night and asked if i wanted a snack that she can bring over to my place)...its an IOI? she has called me up to play tennis and for random visits at my place. i dont call her anymore.

anyway, i think im gonna ask her out to lunch at school next week and then do some kino. should i ask her on a date then or should i push her a little more and ask her out later that week (pull).
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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M

MotownMack

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I'm just curious what does IOI mean?

Indicator of interest.

My initial two thoughts are

1) Why ask for something that sounds like a date if she's hanging with you anyway, and risk her declining or putting up her b1tch shield? IMO, it's too your advantage to develop some attraction when she isn't expecting it.

2) It was a short post, but it sounds like you are the express train to "friendszone" (best not to be aboard when it pulls in). And you absolutely will be if in the context of these meetings, you keep hanging out with her, but are not moving things forward and you allow her to get too comfortable with you.
 
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bumblebee

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how am i going into the friendzone if i dont even initiate most of the stuff we end up doing? doesnt that mean she has some kind of interest if shes the one contacting me? im confused. i thought i was doing ok, we havent hung out THAT much one on one. usually its just casual stuff chit chat after class with some of our other classmates.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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