Aspiring_DJ
Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2007
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I just want to let go and not give a **** what people think or say about me. How do i do it? If you got to this stage what are some things I can tell myself?
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
How do you stop caring what people think?
- Thread starter Aspiring_DJ
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
If you care too much about what other people think, you'll never think for yourself.
If you can't think for yourself, you'll always be a follower.
If you're always a follower, you'll always care what other people think.
And so goes the vicious cycle....
If you can't think for yourself, you'll always be a follower.
If you're always a follower, you'll always care what other people think.
And so goes the vicious cycle....
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2005
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- 4,476
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Think of a time that you cared what people thought of you and you followed through on their expectations and were absolutely fvcking miserable and felt like a phony or felt like garbage for living the way they wanted you to.
Then think of a time if any where you disregarded what people thought of you and went for what you wanted and you were incredibly happy.
Basically what I'm getting at is you need to rework your pain pleasure principle that NLP talks about.
You have to associate pain to caring what people think about you and associate pleasure to walking tall and not giving a damn about what other people think of you and doing what you want.
And the best way to do this is to again think of times where caring what other people thought of you made you feel awful and really focus on the pain of this and then think of times where you went against the grain and said screw what other people think I'm doing what I want and it brought you tremendous pleasure.
The re-conditioning of your mind is what I believe you must do.
Then think of a time if any where you disregarded what people thought of you and went for what you wanted and you were incredibly happy.
Basically what I'm getting at is you need to rework your pain pleasure principle that NLP talks about.
You have to associate pain to caring what people think about you and associate pleasure to walking tall and not giving a damn about what other people think of you and doing what you want.
And the best way to do this is to again think of times where caring what other people thought of you made you feel awful and really focus on the pain of this and then think of times where you went against the grain and said screw what other people think I'm doing what I want and it brought you tremendous pleasure.
The re-conditioning of your mind is what I believe you must do.
Why you care what people say about you. Like pook says you are a man and men don't care what others think this is female thinking. Why let someones comment define you? They know nothing about you and what you have done in your life why take what they say seriously. The only comments that hurt most people is what they think is true what someone said about them. Start by working on your inner game the more you love yourself the more people's comments are a joke no phase. Take it easy
Beautiful bro.PHAT Rabbit said:It really comes down to mastering your fear of being alone ("If I screw this up I will lose this person's friendship"), but once you have a lot of options - you are less invested in each interaction. Eventually you'll interact with less "care" about what the other person thinks and find that this approach is actually better in the long run.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
Keep convincing yourself, and you shall become.