"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
How do you react to patronizing people
- Thread starter st_99
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
nothing to be gained here from confrontation.
a patronizing action is a passive aggressive action and is thus covert. Used mainly by women and feminized men. If you act overly you will be labeled the bad guy...if this is done by a boss or superior act nice to his/her face while looking for new employment.
and i wonder if there is even any point in calling out a women on this type of behavior or just clown them right back..not sure.
the patronizing action is 2 hairs short of outright contempt....and prolonged contempt from a woman towards a man for most of recorded history would have been met by a severe beating and ostracizing.st_99 said:
If a woman is indeed patronizing you she has no respect for you as a human being let alone a man...she has a vested ego investment in your perceived inferiority at this point....you can clown her surely, but realize that the well has been poisoned and the water is no longer fit to drink.
I think how you respond to this depends a lot on the environment you're in.
I'm a pretty direct person. If I feel someone is doing this to me, I'll nip it in the bud by pulling the person aside and make steely eye contact while looking for resolution/answers for their behavior.
If it occurs in the workplace, you have to be careful with this approach. People that patronize usually live in glass houses which makes them painfully susceptible to those who defend themselves. The downside is, if you're perceived as "defending yourself", subconsciously they know they've won the little passive-aggressive war they've waged against you.
I've found the best way to deal with this in the majority of cases is to confidently laugh and give off the impression the person is joking with you. It makes you look good, and completely offsets the b!tchery coming from the other person to the point where it's unlikely they'll toy with you again.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
I've found that a great move in the verbal defense war is the boring response tactic. You can use it in very different circumstances. By being mundane, boring (ie not giving a fvck what they have to say) you can ward off these attacks without attacking back, thus getting sucked into their frame. You go neither up nor down. Your boss says, "Why can't you be more like Frankie over there?"....You: "Well, Lumberg, he's very highly skilled in the foreign languages of Tutankhamen rabble rabble rabble it really doesn't matter etc etct etc"........The attacker loses interest since they failed to rile you up.
Now, you could always try the witty way and give them a one liner, but I'm not really a witty guy so I typically lose that battle.
An attacker and a patronizer are a little bit different, but you can still work it the same way. Their intent is to get a reaction covertly instead of overtly. I'd need an example of what they say to really gauge it, but I would suspect this technique would work in your situation too. Just basically show no emotion, and don't really pay attention to them, while calling them on their bullcrap. So in other words, be boring, but give them an overt response showing that you did in fact recognize their BS and you won't tolerate it. The key is staying calm though.