"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
How do you react to patronizing people
- Thread starter st_99
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
nothing to be gained here from confrontation.
a patronizing action is a passive aggressive action and is thus covert. Used mainly by women and feminized men. If you act overly you will be labeled the bad guy...if this is done by a boss or superior act nice to his/her face while looking for new employment.
and i wonder if there is even any point in calling out a women on this type of behavior or just clown them right back..not sure.
the patronizing action is 2 hairs short of outright contempt....and prolonged contempt from a woman towards a man for most of recorded history would have been met by a severe beating and ostracizing.st_99 said:
If a woman is indeed patronizing you she has no respect for you as a human being let alone a man...she has a vested ego investment in your perceived inferiority at this point....you can clown her surely, but realize that the well has been poisoned and the water is no longer fit to drink.
I think how you respond to this depends a lot on the environment you're in.
I'm a pretty direct person. If I feel someone is doing this to me, I'll nip it in the bud by pulling the person aside and make steely eye contact while looking for resolution/answers for their behavior.
If it occurs in the workplace, you have to be careful with this approach. People that patronize usually live in glass houses which makes them painfully susceptible to those who defend themselves. The downside is, if you're perceived as "defending yourself", subconsciously they know they've won the little passive-aggressive war they've waged against you.
I've found the best way to deal with this in the majority of cases is to confidently laugh and give off the impression the person is joking with you. It makes you look good, and completely offsets the b!tchery coming from the other person to the point where it's unlikely they'll toy with you again.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
I've found that a great move in the verbal defense war is the boring response tactic. You can use it in very different circumstances. By being mundane, boring (ie not giving a fvck what they have to say) you can ward off these attacks without attacking back, thus getting sucked into their frame. You go neither up nor down. Your boss says, "Why can't you be more like Frankie over there?"....You: "Well, Lumberg, he's very highly skilled in the foreign languages of Tutankhamen rabble rabble rabble it really doesn't matter etc etct etc"........The attacker loses interest since they failed to rile you up.
Now, you could always try the witty way and give them a one liner, but I'm not really a witty guy so I typically lose that battle.
An attacker and a patronizer are a little bit different, but you can still work it the same way. Their intent is to get a reaction covertly instead of overtly. I'd need an example of what they say to really gauge it, but I would suspect this technique would work in your situation too. Just basically show no emotion, and don't really pay attention to them, while calling them on their bullcrap. So in other words, be boring, but give them an overt response showing that you did in fact recognize their BS and you won't tolerate it. The key is staying calm though.