How do You identify the true source of harm in a relationship?

[jhonny9546]

There's a lot of conversation around red and green flags. But what happens when both people in a relationship appear toxic? How do you recognize who is truly the source of the dysfunction?


In my experience, being in a relationship with a narcissist can lead you to adopt some of their traits, often as a defense mechanism. Even identifying red or green flags doesn’t always offer clarity in these situations.


What about you? In your own experiences, have you been able to clearly identify the toxic person in a relationship?
Can you confidently say who the unhealthy influence is?

I love how knowing more about women, seduction, and how to be a mature men light a spark on knowing relational dynamics better

 

[BaronOfHair]

But what happens when both people in a relationship appear toxic?

The collapse of any sort of relationship being the fault of only one person is more rare than a Texas State quarterback who reads above a 1st grade level. This is almost always the result of BOTH parties being troubled in some way

 

[BillyPilgrim]

LMFAO do we keep having to go over this, @jhonny9546?

To answer your question...

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Also, when you live in an idyllic climate (like the Mediterranean) where you aren't humbled by the elements and you can easily survive by picking fruits off trees or throwing a spear in the water to catch fish, narcissistic traits aren't going to be bred out by natural selection.

FFS please stop extrapolating Italian culture to the rest of the world.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You don't. You stop obsessing over things and move on.

 

[jhonny9546]

Also, when you live in an idyllic climate (like the Mediterranean) where you aren't humbled by the elements and you can easily survive by picking fruits off trees or throwing a spear in the water to catch fish, narcissistic traits aren't going to be bred out by natural selection.

FFS please stop extrapolating Italian culture to the rest of the world.

This is what you see from the outside, but the reality is very different. Salaries that have the same value as the cost of living. I said it all.

I'm not trying to extrapolate the Italian reality, rather, all women have something in common between them, whether they are American or Italian. So their brain works the same way. As for us men it's the same.

You don't.

Studying relationships is the step a man must take to better understand the dynamics between people. I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, but also friendships, work, social circles, etc.

the result of BOTH parties

In this case, however, if one person doesn't grow, and the other does, the problem is only one, not the one who has grown. But I understand what you're saying. It's still connected to the fact that one has grown and the other hasn't

 

[BaronOfHair]

In this case, however, if one person doesn't grow, and the other does, the problem is only one, not the one who has grown. But I understand what you're saying. It's still connected to the fact that one has grown and the other hasn't

One or both people's perception may be "I've grown, they haven't", just as both The Mob and the often hyper-corrupt NYPD both each considered themselves "honest", and the other "phony" and "hypocritical"

Goes without saying, the truth is often far more messy and complex than we'd prefer

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is what you see from the outside, but the reality is very different. Salaries that have the same value as the cost of living. I said it all.

I'm not trying to extrapolate the Italian reality, rather, all women have something in common between them, whether they are American or Italian. So their brain works the same way. As for us men it's the same.



Studying relationships is the step a man must take to better understand the dynamics between people. I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, but also friendships, work, social circles, etc.



In this case, however, if one person doesn't grow, and the other does, the problem is only one, not the one who has grown. But I understand what you're saying. It's still connected to the fact that one has grown and the other hasn't

Probably acting normal would go a lot farther than studying relationships

 

[jhonny9546]

Probably acting normal would go a lot farther than studying relationships

Would you define wha acting normal means?

 

[Vanderdonck]

In my experience, being in a relationship with a narcissist can lead you to adopt some of their traits, often as a defense mechanism. Even identifying red or green flags doesn’t always offer clarity in these situations.

What about you?

No. It made me more aware than ever of those traits and to look out for signs of them. Why would I adopt some bytch's toxic traits?

 

[BaronOfHair]

When all else fails, ascribe responsibility for whatever your troubled by to The Lizard People