oldmanofthesea
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2018
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- 1,600
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- Age
- 48
Curious how you guys in LTRs or marriages handle this.
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Because we bought it before we married, she could afford it and we had about the same amount of equity. Just made it cleaner to split the house and the mortgage in case our relationship didn't work out. She didn't own a house or apartment before we met, she lived with her mother and saved a lot of money. She moved into my apartment which I had a mortgage on and I kept 100% of it, so she took some of the other expenses and kept saving a lot. When we bought the house together it didn't impact her finances much, the money she used to save anyways is now used to pay her part of the mortgage.She sounds like a keeper... and low drama.
If you make much more than her, out of curiosity, why did you two decide to split the mortgage evenly 50/50?
Things like this must be ironed out in the prenup. And correct, that is not an equitable split. If I make $100K and wifey makes $150K, she should be paying 50% more. Etch that in stone.She sounds like a keeper... and low drama.
If you make much more than her, out of curiosity, why did you two decide to split the mortgage evenly 50/50?
Yes. And that is why we have to get her interest level to 100%... to the point where she is pressing us for marriage. That is the most favorable negotiating position.@EyeBRollin I agree with you 100%, and the same the other way around. If I make 50% more, I should pay 50% more. Basically, everyone should feel the same amount of load that is proportioned to their income level. And I agree that this should all be ironed out in a pre-nup but many women respond poorly to those. They start playing this, "Gosh it sounds like you are talking about you vs me instead of us together," game, but you know who generally benefits from vagueness if a divorce ends up happening.
That’s exactly where I am with the girl I’ve been dating for a year now. She has been pushing to move in together and also to get married. But when that equitable split conversation comes up, she gets upset and that’s a huge red flag to me. So I tell her we can keep it how it is. The worst part for me is that I truly thinks she believes she wants what is fair and isn’t looking to live high on my money. But her actions say otherwise. And when someone believes they aren’t doing what they are actually doing, you can’t even have a conversation with them about it. It’s like arguing with a flat-earther. Oh well. On the plus side, I am making wise decisions about my own future.Yes. And that is why we have to get her interest level to 100%... to the point where she is pressing us for marriage. That is the most favorable negotiating position.
“We’re going to have an equitable split in our marriage.”
“But that doesn’t sound right.. I don’t want-“
“It’s cool then, let’s just keep our relationship the way it is.”
I hate how you can't REASON with women. It's so frustrating. They simply cannot SEE logic. It's so maddening, and makes me always throw my hands up in the air and say "I give up." It's like WHAT PLANET ARE YOU ON!?That’s exactly where I am with the girl I’ve been dating for a year now. She has been pushing to move in together and also to get married. But when that equitable split conversation comes up, she gets upset and that’s a huge red flag to me. So I tell her we can keep it how it is. The worst part for me is that I truly thinks she believes she wants what is fair and isn’t looking to live high on my money. But her actions say otherwise. And when someone believes they aren’t doing what they are actually doing, you can’t even have a conversation with them about it. It’s like arguing with a flat-earther. Oh well. On the plus side, I am making wise decisions about my own future.
Additionally I pay everything related to the car, so in the big picture I pay more than her in the household. It has to be that way to afford the things we want. Would be kinda dumb to hold back on buying things because she can't pay exactly 50% of everything since she has a lower income.@Serenity That makes sense - especially given that you both could afford it and did it before the relationship. Makes things very simple.
That's technically true, however, she does care about all the expensive things money can buy her though. Caring about money is your concern, making sure she always has some to spend.since she "didn't care about money" (classic statement from entitled women).