"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
How do you go about trying to date a "baby mama"
- Thread starter Jayness
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
HeyPachuco!
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2009
- Messages
- 618
- Reaction score
- 12
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
HeyPachuco!
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2009
- Messages
- 618
- Reaction score
- 12
Productive - apologies.r0cky said:
jdollarthegreat
Don Juan
katatonia said:
I don't think its all about sex all the time but I have to agree with this one. Don't get involved with it, its not a good look know what i'm sayin
if she is constantly talking about her 'baby daddy'. Red flag.
if she is openly admits to needing a father for her child. Red flag.
if she is trying to get you meet her child and spend time with the child right off the bat. Flag on the play.
if she says these words "me and my child are a package deal". Flag.
if she's always griping about how her 'baby daddy' doesn't take care of his child. Flag.
if she's always broke. Or asks you for money, or ask you to buy things for her kid. Flag.
if she ever ask you to babysit. Nuclear Red Flag. :nono: Eject immediately and don't look back.
Some other tips....
1. You are her vacation from the messed up life she's in. Keep it that way. You don't date vacations, and you don't go on them every day...you just enjoy them when you can.
2. You play the role of the swuave player with a heart of gold, but you don't get sucked into her life. The point of 1. is to take her out of her life, let her enjoy life like it was before she got knocked up.
3. You do not spend time with her child. I repeat, you do not spend time with her child. You do not grow attached, you do not think of 'being a family'. You especially don't do this inside of the first year or two of knowing her.
4. You will have other girls. She expects you to have other girls. She knows her market value is low, and if she's the only girl on your radar then your market value is lower than hers, instant power shift.
5. You will not become needy or clingy. Her children will always be ahead of you so becoming needy or clingy will be even worse than with a childless woman. It's the quickest way to ruin.
6. You will not see her on a regular basis. i.e. several times a week. You will put her in the rotation of once, maybe twice a week.
7. You will not take her out on expensive dates. You may take her to the movies or some applebees type place every now and then, but there should be at least a 3-1 or 4-1 ratio. For every 3 times she just comes over and "watches a movie" you MIGHT take her out on a real date.
These have been some of my lessons I have learned from experience. take what you find useful, discard the rest. Good luck.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
2crudedudes
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2009
- Messages
- 283
- Reaction score
- 6
Really dude, you don't want to date her. You really should just bone her as much as you can/want, but never treat her like a girlfriend.
Women carry enough baggage in their lives. Single mothers carry this x10.
BlackJackal
Master Don Juan
Oh this is simple, you DONT. It's not worth it man. Sex is cool but a real relationship with her and her kids will take away more than you expect to earn. Even if she is a good person, she messed up and is now at a disadvantage. Trust when I say she will eventually want you to step up to the plate if you wish to continue seeing her. It's called bait and switch.Jayness said:
Move along son and find a non single mother.
CarlitosWay
Master Don Juan
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
drewsg
Don Juan
thiskatatonia said:
i've seen it a hundred times and personally got LJBF'd by this girl who's jealous ass baby daddy walkd back into the picture when he noticed i was hanging out with his ex
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.