"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
How do you go about trying to date a "baby mama"
- Thread starter Jayness
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
HeyPachuco!
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2009
- Messages
- 618
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- 12
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
HeyPachuco!
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2009
- Messages
- 618
- Reaction score
- 12
Productive - apologies.r0cky said:
jdollarthegreat
Don Juan
katatonia said:
I don't think its all about sex all the time but I have to agree with this one. Don't get involved with it, its not a good look know what i'm sayin
if she is constantly talking about her 'baby daddy'. Red flag.
if she is openly admits to needing a father for her child. Red flag.
if she is trying to get you meet her child and spend time with the child right off the bat. Flag on the play.
if she says these words "me and my child are a package deal". Flag.
if she's always griping about how her 'baby daddy' doesn't take care of his child. Flag.
if she's always broke. Or asks you for money, or ask you to buy things for her kid. Flag.
if she ever ask you to babysit. Nuclear Red Flag. :nono: Eject immediately and don't look back.
Some other tips....
1. You are her vacation from the messed up life she's in. Keep it that way. You don't date vacations, and you don't go on them every day...you just enjoy them when you can.
2. You play the role of the swuave player with a heart of gold, but you don't get sucked into her life. The point of 1. is to take her out of her life, let her enjoy life like it was before she got knocked up.
3. You do not spend time with her child. I repeat, you do not spend time with her child. You do not grow attached, you do not think of 'being a family'. You especially don't do this inside of the first year or two of knowing her.
4. You will have other girls. She expects you to have other girls. She knows her market value is low, and if she's the only girl on your radar then your market value is lower than hers, instant power shift.
5. You will not become needy or clingy. Her children will always be ahead of you so becoming needy or clingy will be even worse than with a childless woman. It's the quickest way to ruin.
6. You will not see her on a regular basis. i.e. several times a week. You will put her in the rotation of once, maybe twice a week.
7. You will not take her out on expensive dates. You may take her to the movies or some applebees type place every now and then, but there should be at least a 3-1 or 4-1 ratio. For every 3 times she just comes over and "watches a movie" you MIGHT take her out on a real date.
These have been some of my lessons I have learned from experience. take what you find useful, discard the rest. Good luck.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
2crudedudes
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2009
- Messages
- 283
- Reaction score
- 6
Really dude, you don't want to date her. You really should just bone her as much as you can/want, but never treat her like a girlfriend.
Women carry enough baggage in their lives. Single mothers carry this x10.
BlackJackal
Master Don Juan
Oh this is simple, you DONT. It's not worth it man. Sex is cool but a real relationship with her and her kids will take away more than you expect to earn. Even if she is a good person, she messed up and is now at a disadvantage. Trust when I say she will eventually want you to step up to the plate if you wish to continue seeing her. It's called bait and switch.Jayness said:
Move along son and find a non single mother.
CarlitosWay
Master Don Juan
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
drewsg
Don Juan
thiskatatonia said:
i've seen it a hundred times and personally got LJBF'd by this girl who's jealous ass baby daddy walkd back into the picture when he noticed i was hanging out with his ex
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.