You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I agree. It would make laying them easier but I wouldn't feel right leading them on. Hell, a guy could say that he wanted to marry them just to get some. I guess it all depends on how desperate a guy may be to get laid.Rex Man said:It's all good. Just don't say you're getting into a relationship with 'em.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
3rd that... agreed.Francisco d'Anconia said:I agree. It would make laying them easier but I wouldn't feel right leading them on.
Just dont f@ck anyone you wouldnt date for a whileZero Hero said:What are your guys thoughts about ****ing women who think that you want a relationship with them even though you just want to **** them? Is this a no-no?
Nothin wrong with it cause thats what I do. I'm always honest with my intentions, just for the sake of respect. Respect is everything and even love cant exist without it. So they love me anyway. Most dont like it though but thats their problem. I wouldn't say I'm a player though. More like a negotiater of the sort.Zero Hero said:What are your guys thoughts about ****ing women who think that you want a relationship with them even though you just want to **** them? Is this a no-no?
I know thats right.:rockon:DarkLight said:3rd that... agreed.
Plus... no need to create future possibilities of chaos for your life.
Being a man of truth is power.
They'll be that much more attracted to you, if your solid.
Ya, a few might pass... but that happens for other reasons, just as naturally. Might as well walk your walk, and let it bring its rewards, minus the BS.
In the long haul, it will only serve to internalize much of the DJ perspective, thus strengthen you as a man. This can only attract more women.
Peace'
Very true, but if I'm going to put a down payment on a car I'm definitely going to drive her around the block a couple of times to make sure she rides well.SharinganUser said:I don't bang anyone that I wouldn't consider being in a LTR with. I think that would make any "accidents" easier to handle.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Very true. An added benefit is understanding that you don't need to bed every woman to validate yourself. It feels good being able to walk away without feeling that you've lost out on something. It actually makes you feel like you've gained something new.DarkLight said:...Being a man of truth is power.
They'll be that much more attracted to you, if your solid.
Ya, a few might pass... but that happens for other reasons, just as naturally. Might as well walk your walk, and let it bring its rewards, minus the BS.
..
PRMoon said:Okay.
Well I'm doing that now so I guess my awnser is yes. I'm "seeing" a girl right now who's attactive an all but I'm really just in it for the sex i suppose. I don't see our relationship going anywhere cause I'm just not that into her. She buys me dinner all the time too so I guess that's a bonus. Ultimately though I'm gonna stop calling her sooner or later.
I guess that's part of being a player. I have enough options where I could give a crap if how attracted she is to me or how much she wants me. I'm in it for the sex and when it's over (I dump her, she catches me out with someone else, is she dumps me etc etc) I won't feel too bad. As a player I know there are thousands of other girls around (hell there are at least a few hundred at my job) that I'd be interested in more then just for the sex, so who cares about this one?
Well said... and oh so true.Francisco d'Anconia said:Very true. An added benefit is understanding that you don't need to bed every woman to validate yourself. It feels good being able to walk away without feeling that you've lost out on something. It actually makes you feel like you've gained something new.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.