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How do you deal with lack of respect in relationships?

andreihaha

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For me personally it's a deal breaker.

My current experience: Been seeing some girl for 2-3 months, seemed a bit shy, maybe cold at first but she was good company.
We were supposed to meet today and she texted me something like "I don't think I can see you today any more. Talk to you soon. Hope I gave you a notice early enough."
Asked her if something happened and she didn't say a word in half a day. Saw her online on facebook tho.

What am I trying to say? If you don't feel like the girl is crazy about you really fast, you're probably wasting you time.

Curious to know what you do in these kind of situations. For me, it's a bye-bye.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Get more women in your pipeline and forget about her. Might have something to do with you or it might not. She will let you know what is going on at some point and then you can decide how to handle it from there. She may need some space for whatever reason so give it to her and focus on other women for now.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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The ones that are crazy interested immediately are usually projecting a fantasy and will grow resentful over time, but hey it's fun for a while until they get nasty.

Sounds like you've been too nice and accommodating, I would at least expect an excuse with a same day cancel. Next time she wants to hang out, reschedule. Do everything on your terms, and never make the activities you do together about her. Make it about having a good time doing something you enjoy and have the mind that she's just tagging along.

Set the vibe and see if she adds to it or works against it.

Don't think about ways to gain her respect, that's a fool's errand. Be your creative fun self and only allow her around if she acts like a teammate.
 

Barrister

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My experience with this is that if she doesn’t respect you it’s likely not ever going to be there. You can do things to make her respect you in the immediate present such as dread game, but ultimately this is a temporary thing and you’ll end up right back where you started. You may save yourself a huge headache by exiting now. This will just generate more and more problems the longer you remain.
 

17 shots

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She said she hoped she gave u an early enough notice, did she? What's your opinion on that... I'd wait and see what her response is. If she never responds to your last text, then we don't talk again. If her response is unacceptable, or she acts like nothing happened and gives no explanation, then we don't talk again

If she cares at all about you she will give you a good excuse. Now whether it's a lie or not, I wouldn't worry about it unless she was my girlfriend. Just show me enough respect to tell me a good reasonable lie. Let me know you care about saving face with me lol
 

Glassguy

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Quick update: She just sent me a text like nothing happened, ignoring my question. Nice :lol:
I don't think she was disrespectful as much as she was flaky.
Disrespect (putting you down in front of others, complaining about you to other people, talking to other guys) should be dealt with by just dumping her. That's it.

Flaky behavior is different. All women will be flaky at one point or another. Best to just act as if you don't care or didn't even notice.
 

rjc149

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The overall mindset should not be "is this disrespect?"

It should be detached, nonchalant, and unconcerned. Your mood should be steady and stable, you should convey that you can't be rattled or shaken by flip-flopping female emotions. You remain serene and unphased.

So in this case, I would not have asked her if something happened, or tried to have gotten an explanation. That's needy -- you need her explanation to feel better about the situation. You need her approval. You have submitted to her frame.

Remember, 2-3 months in, she's not your girlfriend. You should be more detached, and come off like you are vetting her and like you are ready to walk away at any moment.

My response would have been "ah, no worries. Hope everything's okay." -- then disappear. Don't contact her again.

When a woman tries to put distance between you, accept it with a shrug, and give her the distance she wants. Trust me, if you don't go chasing after her and "fighting for her" and just move on, her attraction will get spiked by your confidence and she will circle back to you.
 

bat soup

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For me personally it's a deal breaker.

My current experience: Been seeing some girl for 2-3 months, seemed a bit shy, maybe cold at first but she was good company.
We were supposed to meet today and she texted me something like "I don't think I can see you today any more. Talk to you soon. Hope I gave you a notice early enough."
Asked her if something happened and she didn't say a word in half a day. Saw her online on facebook tho.

What am I trying to say? If you don't feel like the girl is crazy about you really fast, you're probably wasting you time.

Curious to know what you do in these kind of situations. For me, it's a bye-bye.
DTB
 

andreihaha

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I don't think she was disrespectful as much as she was flaky.
Disrespect (putting you down in front of others, complaining about you to other people, talking to other guys) should be dealt with by just dumping her. That's it.

Flaky behavior is different. All women will be flaky at one point or another. Best to just act as if you don't care or didn't even notice.
I guess your way of seeing things was more clear than mine on this one.
My ego fked me up a bit and I got angrier than I should have.

We had a talk earlier and I understood what happened. As long as you put your foot down, things work out in your favour. I doubt this will happen again and if it does, I know where the door is.

Thanks for the tips. I guess this is kinda like a support group after all:lol:
 

darksprezzatura

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I respect my time.

I don't take a woman's behaviour towards me personally.

It's just a simple algorithm.

Approach a lot of girls, take their numbers, setup concurrent dates, flake on all but the most enthusiastic qualifying one.

Rinse, wash, repeat.

Spinning plates is not putting all your eggs in the same basket.

It's a sport. You don't get too attached to one specific goal, or penalty or win or loss.

Improve your sh!t. Think long term. Big picture. Acquire social skills. Each set is practice. Catch and release. Don't get attached. This is for you.
 

Glassguy

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I guess your way of seeing things was more clear than mine on this one.
My ego fked me up a bit and I got angrier than I should have.

We had a talk earlier and I understood what happened. As long as you put your foot down, things work out in your favour. I doubt this will happen again and if it does, I know where the door is.

Thanks for the tips. I guess this is kinda like a support group after all:lol:
There are 2 categories:

1.) Typical female behavior. Flaky, flighty, etc. Laugh it off.
2.) Disrespectful behavior: eject. No time for disrespect.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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For me personally it's a deal breaker.

My current experience: Been seeing some girl for 2-3 months, seemed a bit shy, maybe cold at first but she was good company.
We were supposed to meet today and she texted me something like "I don't think I can see you today any more. Talk to you soon. Hope I gave you a notice early enough."
Asked her if something happened and she didn't say a word in half a day. Saw her online on facebook tho.

What am I trying to say? If you don't feel like the girl is crazy about you really fast, you're probably wasting you time.

Curious to know what you do in these kind of situations. For me, it's a bye-bye.
When I say, the smp is a dumpster fire, this is it.


There is no fix for her and the trash alike. She's a broken condom and or cheese burger away from expired. #next!

Allocate more time to sourcing and volume. Everything is hit and run material not play house. She's got to earn her keep just for a call back even.

Rich Coop parrots Rollo but he's bang on about burning desire or #next. a example of the following is a mid day throater in the car after getting a coffee going through the Starbucks drive through in pandemic. The opposite is the **** you spoke to and got garbage.

This is who and what she is. If she contacts you for anything but swallowing, take a huge ****, take a pic, and send it to her with the caption, "I saw something and it reminded me of you."
 

Clamslammer

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I guess your way of seeing things was more clear than mine on this one.
My ego fked me up a bit and I got angrier than I should have.

We had a talk earlier and I understood what happened. As long as you put your foot down, things work out in your favour. I doubt this will happen again and if it does, I know where the door is.

Thanks for the tips. I guess this is kinda like a support group after all:lol:
Girls are physically weak so they subconsciously know they have to test you in other ways. They don't know they are testing you because it is inate. Her canceling should do nothing to your ego, as a matter of fact her doing anything period should do nothinf to your ego. A man is supposed to be a rock, if she cancels on you just tell her - No problem! I hope everything is okay. Then you walk away and dont look back. If she wants to see you again they will reach back out.
 

Roober

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I think you first need to evaluate if this was disrespectful. Personally, I dont believe it was.

Annoying? Yes.
A sign of waning interest? Possibly.

Since you seem to be asking about this specific situation, I won't dive into disrespect too much. Although, I would say that the first step is determining if it truly disrespectful behavior.
 
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