"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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How do you answer "Why are you so busy? What are you doing?"

Likeathink

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I'm trying to detach myself from a oneitis and haven't started yet but will have other girls to go on dates with soon. I would like to hook up w/ her if this happens to make her jealous and come back to me, but first how to answer this question smoothly?

Oneitis has been wondering lately if I've been mad at her, and why I stopped calling her.

How do you men tell them that you're busy?
Especially if they want to know what you've been doing, etc?

I don't think I can just keep saying

"I'm just busy."
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Francisco d'Anconia

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"I've been busy plotting to overthrow the government."

"I've been busy trying to find out how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie-roll center of a Tootsie-Pop."

"I'm been busy trying to find Jesu...." Nahhhh...
 
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Francisco d'Anconia said:
"I've been busy plotting to overthrow the government."

"I've been busy trying to find out how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie-roll center of a Tootsie-Pop."

"I'm been busy trying to find Jesu...." Nahhhh...
LOL.. when are you going to write that book Francisco?
 

Latinoman

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Bible_Belt said:
Hanging out with the guys, having a martial arts class, working out, doing family stuff
Maybe he should tell them the TRUTH. And if the truth SUCKS...then maybe he should focus on improving his life FIRST...before even attempting to date a woman.

Personally...if he has Oneitis...the best thing he can do is AVOID her.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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PhatE1vis

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Keep it vague. I'm busy with work. Busy with personal stuff. Just busy. You don't need to explain, especially if your goal is to make her jealous (which I don't advise, but understand). Not knowing the details will make her think about it more.
 

wjh

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How about you just drop her and not worry about it?

You're playing games so she can come back to you?

Weak.
 

Bible_Belt

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Hanging out with the guys, having a martial arts class, working out, doing family stuff

Latinoman said:
Maybe he should tell them the TRUTH. And if the truth SUCKS...then maybe he should focus on improving his life FIRST...before even attempting to date a woman.

Personally...if he has Oneitis...the best thing he can do is AVOID her.

You're right. That's what I tell one girl when I'm off with another girl, which is what he should be doing.
 
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Come on guys the goal of a text message is to make her laugh and raise her interest level. Just sending "I'm busy" is boring as hell. Look at what Francisco posted

Francisco d'Anconia said:
"I've been busy plotting to overthrow the government."

"I've been busy trying to find out how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie-roll center of a Tootsie-Pop."

"I'm been busy trying to find Jesu...." Nahhhh...
Now that is PIMP and it makes her laugh and she STILL doesn't know what we are doing.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Adam007

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Well some of the excuses - sorry - causes might be too much work, too much trivia, too many priorities, too many emails, too many meetings too much of everything!
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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It may help to know why she's asking.
 
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