Aspiring_DJ
Don Juan
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I need to create a new social circle from scratchh and dont know what to do. I am a junior in college and everyone seems to have their groups already.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
how do u create a social circle from scratch?
- Thread starter Aspiring_DJ
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
The more you talk to people, the more chances you have of getting invited somewhere. Also, get a social job. That is a great way to make new connections.
Don't be afraid to go out on the town alone. You will meet new ppl that way. And invite ppl! Random ppl you make conversation with, say "I was thinking about going to XYZ tonight, want to meet me up there?"
The key is to make yourself available. To people, to opportunity.
Don't be afraid to go out on the town alone. You will meet new ppl that way. And invite ppl! Random ppl you make conversation with, say "I was thinking about going to XYZ tonight, want to meet me up there?"
The key is to make yourself available. To people, to opportunity.
iqqi
Master Don Juan
I am assuming OP is on the younger side.brett012 said:
Waiting tables is #1, absolutely. Bartending. Working at a club (door guy or bouncer).
Working at a clothing store in the mall, or one of those kiosks.
Work on campus.
If you can get a job as a promoter at a local club, (or even an "internship" i.e. pass out flyers and promote online in exchange for free passes and a small tab at the bar), you are GOLD.
This is something I've been thinking over myself. I decided to volunteer for the red cross and/or amnesty international if I can: doing good feels good, I dunno why people don't do it more! It's almost selfish XD
Also, I stuck up some ads to offer to teach people english... Well I'm in Spain see.
Also, I stuck up some ads to offer to teach people english... Well I'm in Spain see.
Poonani Maker
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2007
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Well, iqqi has some great advice. Try meetup.com too.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
The easiest way to make a social circle, or get into one is to join a sports team around campus. You can do one of two things; if you don't have a team, either make one on your own ( this'll prove you got balls to initiate), or join a team that needs a ringer in whatever sport. If you are any good, teams will be in line trying to recruit you One you prove you can carry your weight, have some fun, suddenly you'll start going out to celebrate victories, and meeting new people. In two years, I joined two different teams and made good friends with very established social circles that I otherwise would not have.
Other things I did was get jobs at the recreation dept. I reffed on some nights, which not only broke the tedium of my work, but it opened up a new group of people I otherwise would not have met in my major. When you are in school as long as I was , social circles come and go. You have to learn how to become a focal point for a group of people for a common interest, and naturally people will percolate into your life.
One you prove you can carry your weight, have some fun, suddenly you'll start going out to celebrate victories, and meeting new people. In two years, I joined two different teams and made good friends with very established social circles that I otherwise would not have. Other things I did was get jobs at the recreation dept. I reffed on some nights, which not only broke the tedium of my work, but it opened up a new group of people I otherwise would not have met in my major. When you are in school as long as I was , social circles come and go. You have to learn how to become a focal point for a group of people for a common interest, and naturally people will percolate into your life.