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How do I spin this situation?

Don-wino

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Morning guys,

So I am dating this girl. Last saturday we had our third date at my house. We watched a episode of a serie. After watching the episode I gave her a massage and had sex with her. So the problem is that I like her very much now, I feel it in my body and stomach. She knows that I like her too.

Yesterday I received some texts from her that she is scared to hurt me because she thinks I like her more then she likes me She also feels some pressure she said.

Earlier that night she said she had the feeling she wanteed to see me earlier then we agreed on. Which is strange because she feels pressured.

How do I spin this situation? I want her to chase me. Instead of I chasing her.

Do you guys also have some articles that can help me to kill the feeling of infatuation. That feeling is toxic and kills my appetite.

Sincerly,

Don-Wino
 

Romanemp22

Master Don Juan
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If you feel and you are little bit too pushy, back off a bit. Don't droll over her whenever you're together, don't shower her with compliments too much. Also don't initiate texts and everything too much, let her reach out to you.
Sit back a little bit.
 

Baibars

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Morning guys,

So I am dating this girl. Last saturday we had our third date at my house. We watched a episode of a serie. After watching the episode I gave her a massage and had sex with her. So the problem is that I like her very much now, I feel it in my body and stomach. She knows that I like her too.

Yesterday I received some texts from her that she is scared to hurt me because she thinks I like her more then she likes me She also feels some pressure she said.

Earlier that night she said she had the feeling she wanteed to see me earlier then we agreed on. Which is strange because she feels pressured.

How do I spin this situation? I want her to chase me. Instead of I chasing her.

Do you guys also have some articles that can help me to kill the feeling of infatuation. That feeling is toxic and kills my appetite.

Sincerly,

Don-Wino
Why do you love her very much after 3 dates and one time sex? There is something wrong with your mindset.
This is what you do now : you don't show her that you like her so much and please dont tell her that you love her or some bs if you want to keep having sex with this girl.

You have to fix your belief System in the long run because many guys here can tell you what to do but this would only help you with the simptoms. You wanna cure the source of your neediness.
 

Don-wino

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Why do you love her very much after 3 dates and one time sex? There is something wrong with your mindset.
This is what you do now : you don't show her that you like her so much and please dont tell her that you love her or some bs if you want to keep having sex with this girl.

You have to fix your belief System in the long run because many guys here can tell you what to do but this would only help you with the simptoms. You wanna cure the source of your neediness.
Baibars, thanks for your reaction.

And your absolutly right. I need to fix soming in my mindset, I am trying to find a way how to accomplish this.

You have to fix your belief System in the long run because many guys here can tell you what to do but this would only help you with the simptoms. You wanna cure the source of your neediness.

Do you have any advice on this matter?

Nice to see you are from germany, we are like neighbours then ;)

Gruß
Don-wino
 

powersize

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Baibars, thanks for your reaction.

And your absolutly right. I need to fix soming in my mindset, I am trying to find a way how to accomplish this.

You have to fix your belief System in the long run because many guys here can tell you what to do but this would only help you with the simptoms. You wanna cure the source of your neediness.

Do you have any advice on this matter?

Nice to see you are from germany, we are like neighbours then ;)

Gruß
Don-wino

Spin more plates. More options you have - less needy you will be.
 

bat soup

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Morning guys,

So I am dating this girl. Last saturday we had our third date at my house. We watched a episode of a serie. After watching the episode I gave her a massage and had sex with her. So the problem is that I like her very much now, I feel it in my body and stomach. She knows that I like her too.

Yesterday I received some texts from her that she is scared to hurt me because she thinks I like her more then she likes me She also feels some pressure she said.

Earlier that night she said she had the feeling she wanteed to see me earlier then we agreed on. Which is strange because she feels pressured.

How do I spin this situation? I want her to chase me. Instead of I chasing her.

Do you guys also have some articles that can help me to kill the feeling of infatuation. That feeling is toxic and kills my appetite.

Sincerly,

Don-Wino
Try to distract yourself by finding other things to do. Indulge in a fun hobby like surfing, skiing etc that takes up all of your attention. Also, meet other women so that your attention is not too focused on her.
 

Baibars

Master Don Juan
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Baibars, thanks for your reaction.

And your absolutly right. I need to fix soming in my mindset, I am trying to find a way how to accomplish this.

You have to fix your belief System in the long run because many guys here can tell you what to do but this would only help you with the simptoms. You wanna cure the source of your neediness.

Do you have any advice on this matter?

Nice to see you are from germany, we are like neighbours then ;)

Gruß
Don-wino
This woman dated you because you have some qualities that she likes on you that's it. How can you catch feelings for her? Women are very pragmatic when they choose a man.
Don't believe in this disney love bullsh*t. That's far from reality.
She doesn't want you for what you are but what you can provide for her.( feelings, looks, security or anything else). You have to see it that way and act accordingly. You have to be in control. By getting needy and showing her that you care too much you do the opposite.
 

bcude

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Morning guys,

So I am dating this girl. Last saturday we had our third date at my house. We watched a episode of a serie. After watching the episode I gave her a massage and had sex with her. So the problem is that I like her very much now, I feel it in my body and stomach. She knows that I like her too.

Yesterday I received some texts from her that she is scared to hurt me because she thinks I like her more then she likes me She also feels some pressure she said.
Okay, this is a sign that the dynamic is way off. You need to back up asap since you're taking the joy out of the seduction. The woman wants to work for you and your commitment, but she's telling you she can't do that since you're doing the job for her. Think of her like a cat that you're trying to chase right now - it will want to run away even though the cat likes you, it feels that you like it abit too much and come on too strong.
How do I spin this situation? I want her to chase me. Instead of I chasing her.

Do you guys also have some articles that can help me to kill the feeling of infatuation. That feeling is toxic and kills my appetite.

Sincerly,

Don-Wino
You date her, focus on having fun, have sex and hold back your urge to pour your heart out. I know this sounds weird but we can't fight mother nature. Repeat this for a while and she'll start to pursue you more and more until she brings the question up: "so, what are we?".
Now i want to point out that it's not the end of the world to show feelings but she has to want you more than you want her, if that makes sense. Right now both of you feel that it's the other way around.
Here's the thing. You can only hold back and fake it to a point, because she'll sense your true feelings from your body language, so this brings me to the solution.

I don't know if you can kill the feeling of infatuation once it's there, but when you have (or know that you can generate) more options, you'll naturally place less value on this one girl, that's where your aim should be. This might not be a realistic in your position right now but something to aim for.
What is doable is to focus your attention on a big passion of yours. When you do that, women become secondary in a natural way which makes you more attractive in the eyes of women and you won't be infatuated with someone this early.

Viel glück!
 

Don-wino

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Try to distract yourself by finding other things to do. Indulge in a fun hobby like surfing, skiing etc that takes up all of your attention. Also, meet other women so that your attention is not too focused on her.
Thank you for your comment. I do like fitness/bodybuilding like 4 times a week. Thats my passion.
 

Don-wino

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This woman dated you because you have some qualities that she likes on you that's it. How can you catch feelings for her? Women are very pragmatic when they choose a man.
Don't believe in this disney love bullsh*t. That's far from reality.
She doesn't want you for what you are but what you can provide for her.( feelings, looks, security or anything else). You have to see it that way and act accordingly. You have to be in control. By getting needy and showing her that you care too much you do the opposite.
Thank you for opening my eyes. I am gonna take back the control, I am the man.
 

Don-wino

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Okay, this is a sign that the dynamic is way off. You need to back up asap since you're taking the joy out of the seduction. The woman wants to work for you and your commitment, but she's telling you she can't do that since you're doing the job for her. Think of her like a cat that you're trying to chase right now - it will want to run away even though the cat likes you, it feels that you like it abit too much and come on too strong.

You date her, focus on having fun, have sex and hold back your urge to pour your heart out. I know this sounds weird but we can't fight mother nature. Repeat this for a while and she'll start to pursue you more and more until she brings the question up: "so, what are we?".
Now i want to point out that it's not the end of the world to show feelings but she has to want you more than you want her, if that makes sense. Right now both of you feel that it's the other way around.
Here's the thing. You can only hold back and fake it to a point, because she'll sense your true feelings from your body language, so this brings me to the solution.

I don't know if you can kill the feeling of infatuation once it's there, but when you have (or know that you can generate) more options, you'll naturally place less value on this one girl, that's where your aim should be. This might not be a realistic in your position right now but something to aim for.
What is doable is to focus your attention on a big passion of yours. When you do that, women become secondary in a natural way which makes you more attractive in the eyes of women and you won't be infatuated with someone this early.

Viel glück!
Thank you very much for the time to reply on my thread. This helps me alot. I am gonna try to spin the situation in the way that she is gonna want me more then I her. I will also focus more on my bodybuilding and bachelor thesis.

Now i want to point out that it's not the end of the world to show feelings but she has to want you more than you want her, if that makes sense. Right now both of you feel that it's the other way around.

What would be your tactic for realise this?
 
Last edited:

Baibars

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Thank you for opening my eyes. I am gonna take back the control, I am the man.
Don't change for her, change for you and your future. Even if it doesn't work out with her you shouldn't really care. There are tons of other women out there. Your mind is playing games with you by trying to convince you that she is special bla bla. Don't fall for that.
 

Don-wino

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Don't change for her, change for you and your future. Even if it doesn't work out with her you shouldn't really care. There are tons of other women out there. Your mind is playing games with you by trying to convince you that she is special bla bla. Don't fall for that.
You are right haha thanks man!

Do you have some tips on articles which I should read on this site?

Some that can stimulate another mindset?
 

BackInTheGame78

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Morning guys,

So I am dating this girl. Last saturday we had our third date at my house. We watched a episode of a serie. After watching the episode I gave her a massage and had sex with her. So the problem is that I like her very much now, I feel it in my body and stomach. She knows that I like her too.

Yesterday I received some texts from her that she is scared to hurt me because she thinks I like her more then she likes me She also feels some pressure she said.

Earlier that night she said she had the feeling she wanteed to see me earlier then we agreed on. Which is strange because she feels pressured.

How do I spin this situation? I want her to chase me. Instead of I chasing her.

Do you guys also have some articles that can help me to kill the feeling of infatuation. That feeling is toxic and kills my appetite.

Sincerly,

Don-Wino
You need to back off...you are becoming too needy and she already knows she has you like a ball of clay in the palm of her hand.

I would stand my ground and say you can't meet up until the planned day...she is wanting to see just how eager you are to meet up and if you will jump at the chance to do so.
 

Don-wino

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You need to back off...you are becoming too needy and she already knows she has you like a ball of clay in the palm of her hand.

I would stand my ground and say you can't meet up until the planned day...she is wanting to see just how eager you are to meet up and if you will jump at the chance to do so.
Thank you for reply on this thread. I am aware that I have to back off.

I don't feel very comfortable yet dating multiple woman at the same time.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Thank you for reply on this thread. I am aware that I have to back off.

I don't feel very comfortable yet dating multiple woman at the same time.
You need to become comfortable or you will struggle with this. What aren't you comfortable with?
 
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