"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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How do I maintain my frame when people are trying to get me to do things I don't want to do?

Veréngárda

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I respond with too much rage when people try to boss me. I become erratic and I NEED to hit someone/scream at them.

I want to be able to calmly "bully" people who try to control me.

And no context doesn't matter, for those of you who think that explanation matters.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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TheProspect

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If someone can anger you easily, it is because you are off balance with yourself.

Losing your composure & emotionally overreacting to others is synonymous with losing "frame"...

You can begin your work on on maintaining frame by first learning how to manage your emotions (identifying your triggers and why they exist, etc). If you are unable to effectively practice emotional self-regulation, you will always fall into the frame of others.
 

manfrombelow

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OP, if an inappropriate request from somebody could shake your core the way you described, then it's no longer their problem, but your own problem. Try to spend more time alone to investigate deep into yourself. Talk to yourself. Try to examine the root of every emotion you have had during interactions with other people. In time, you'll get to know yourself better, and control your emotions better.

This sounds hard to do I know, but as men, we must learn how to control our own emotions. I was right where you are, and just like you I had to learn this whole thing the hard way, but that's ok.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Being angry isn't necessarily a bad reaction to an unhealthy society. But you're stuck here, OP, so I would suggest meditation.

And metal guitar.

Lots of metal guitar.
 
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