"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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How do I interpret this?

NatureGuy

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I'm confused on this one. I've been seeing this woman (40's) for over a year. We haven't seen much of each other the past few months because she's been busy with school, her kids, etc. Lately she has more free time so it seems were getting connected again. She says over the phone, 'how do you label/classify our relationship'? She doesn't know by now?
' Do you ever feel like you're mad at me enough that you want to break up?' and 'what are your intentions'?
I've never heard her say these things - almost sounds like someone else.
Any ideas? How do I behave around her when I see her tommorrow?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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diablo

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Well, from her saying "'Do you ever feel like you're mad at me enough that you want to break up?" and "'how do you label/classify our relationship'" that she wants to move things to a new level - my guess would be engagement. Women at 40 realize that they aren't getting any younger, and her having children only adds to that. (I picked up on this working at my dad's law firm for a year... the secretaries would always gossip about how so-and-so went on a date with him-that-guy and how they wanted to find someone). A year is a long time... if you want her, go for it.
 

NatureGuy

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Thanks Bishop, that's what I thought too, but why now? (wait a minute, she just had her birthday two weeks ago...;) Why doesn't she just come out and say it clearly? And we still don't see each other often enough from my point of view (which I've told her) to justify such thoughts.
But now that I think of it, she called me
three times yesterday (left messages for two and we connected for one). She has never called that many times before, and I can only remember one previous time she has ever left a message.
 
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Mack Action Hero

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Mr. Bishop is dead on, she feels that biological clock ticking and apparantly sat down and did a quick reassessment of her life at some point recently.

You've been going out a good while, she needs that reassurement that the relationship is going to go somewhere.. she wants to know you're not just fooling around, otherwise she needs to ditch you and find some some other guy -- fast!

That's why she's doing it, and the reason she doesn't come out and say it is cause.. well, she's a woman. You should know by now that many women tend to hint at issues indirectly rather than come out and say what's on their mind.
 

NatureGuy

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Mr. Bishop is dead on, she feels that biological clock ticking and apparantly sat down and did a quick reassessment of her life at some point recently.
Yes, Mr. Bishop is often right on. I also think your statement above may be right on. We had not spoken to each other for a few weeks, then a week or two after her birthday went by (tick,tick,tick...) she's acting different as already described.
It shows that being patient and not acting desperate pays off.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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biker_gixxer

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"how do you label/classify our relationship"?
Like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get.

"Do you ever feel like you're mad at me enough that you want to break up?"
Not recently (with a playful giggle)

"'what are your intentions'?"
to get through this conversation


:D
 

M. Powered

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Originally posted by biker_gixxer
"how do you label/classify our relationship"?
Like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get.

"Do you ever feel like you're mad at me enough that you want to break up?"
Not recently (with a playful giggle)

"'what are your intentions'?"
to get through this conversation


:D
C+F at work!
 

NatureGuy

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Hey, those are funny. But not useful to me in this situation.
 

OddTech

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NG, we're just having a little laugh. hehe.

But seriously, what do YOU want. Time for you to have a little assessment as well. Because sooner or later, the same questions will come up from her. Better stay sharp and ready. My guess is you have to choose between walking away or being committed to her. There's not much in between.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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