"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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How do I interpret this?

NatureGuy

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I'm confused on this one. I've been seeing this woman (40's) for over a year. We haven't seen much of each other the past few months because she's been busy with school, her kids, etc. Lately she has more free time so it seems were getting connected again. She says over the phone, 'how do you label/classify our relationship'? She doesn't know by now?
' Do you ever feel like you're mad at me enough that you want to break up?' and 'what are your intentions'?
I've never heard her say these things - almost sounds like someone else.
Any ideas? How do I behave around her when I see her tommorrow?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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diablo

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Well, from her saying "'Do you ever feel like you're mad at me enough that you want to break up?" and "'how do you label/classify our relationship'" that she wants to move things to a new level - my guess would be engagement. Women at 40 realize that they aren't getting any younger, and her having children only adds to that. (I picked up on this working at my dad's law firm for a year... the secretaries would always gossip about how so-and-so went on a date with him-that-guy and how they wanted to find someone). A year is a long time... if you want her, go for it.
 

NatureGuy

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Thanks Bishop, that's what I thought too, but why now? (wait a minute, she just had her birthday two weeks ago...;) Why doesn't she just come out and say it clearly? And we still don't see each other often enough from my point of view (which I've told her) to justify such thoughts.
But now that I think of it, she called me
three times yesterday (left messages for two and we connected for one). She has never called that many times before, and I can only remember one previous time she has ever left a message.
 
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Mack Action Hero

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Mr. Bishop is dead on, she feels that biological clock ticking and apparantly sat down and did a quick reassessment of her life at some point recently.

You've been going out a good while, she needs that reassurement that the relationship is going to go somewhere.. she wants to know you're not just fooling around, otherwise she needs to ditch you and find some some other guy -- fast!

That's why she's doing it, and the reason she doesn't come out and say it is cause.. well, she's a woman. You should know by now that many women tend to hint at issues indirectly rather than come out and say what's on their mind.
 

NatureGuy

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Mr. Bishop is dead on, she feels that biological clock ticking and apparantly sat down and did a quick reassessment of her life at some point recently.
Yes, Mr. Bishop is often right on. I also think your statement above may be right on. We had not spoken to each other for a few weeks, then a week or two after her birthday went by (tick,tick,tick...) she's acting different as already described.
It shows that being patient and not acting desperate pays off.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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biker_gixxer

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"how do you label/classify our relationship"?
Like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get.

"Do you ever feel like you're mad at me enough that you want to break up?"
Not recently (with a playful giggle)

"'what are your intentions'?"
to get through this conversation


:D
 

M. Powered

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Originally posted by biker_gixxer
"how do you label/classify our relationship"?
Like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get.

"Do you ever feel like you're mad at me enough that you want to break up?"
Not recently (with a playful giggle)

"'what are your intentions'?"
to get through this conversation


:D
C+F at work!
 

NatureGuy

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Hey, those are funny. But not useful to me in this situation.
 

OddTech

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NG, we're just having a little laugh. hehe.

But seriously, what do YOU want. Time for you to have a little assessment as well. Because sooner or later, the same questions will come up from her. Better stay sharp and ready. My guess is you have to choose between walking away or being committed to her. There's not much in between.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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