How do i feel good again ( depression )

[Baibars]

Hi

I'm here for some time now, opened 2 threads. I read through the Forums, read books and all this stuff.

I know this girl for 6 years now and have/had oneitis for her. The " Real " relationship lasted for the first 1,5-2 years. After that i chased her while she fcked around. I also had Sex with her. Always chased my Drug . Now its another guys turn. She doesnt give a fck about me but we have to stay in contact for our childs. So no contact wasnt an Option.
The girl is a Rat. She fcks around and still says she will leave this guy because its just for fun and wants to give me a Chance. She talks to me like im a worthless piece of ****. Last time she offered me to be Plan b and wait until she leaves this guy. She argued that we could be a family again and all this **** because she knows me and my ideals. I answered that she should fck off and i never want to talk to her about anything but the kids.

But i accept all the advices and knowledge i gathered about my Situation. Accepted that i was a fool and invested time for a thing that wasnt worth it.

But the thing is, i invested that much in a Person and my life was her from 19 until now and then you realize everything, try to change everything. Go work on yourself, go workout, find a Hobby, stop chasing, be a better man ,be the price and so on. I want to be strong as possible the next years both physically and financially.

But the Feeling still stays. I know i've been an Idiot and i cant just change this in a short time. I feel so depressed. I wake up at 6 and i go to work. I dont like that job. I try to improve everything but i really feel sometimes like i just should commit suicide. The fact that i lost all my dignity and my whole time. The fact that my idealized Person is just the rule, a random b*ich.
i dont know. It's another thing if you have a girlfriend and she dumps you. I experienced that and it was not nearly as bad as i feel now.

do i need as much time to get over her as i spend by being with her or chasing her? That would be years then.

I just want to feel good again. I just dont want to Think about her and my mistakes. Is there anything else i can do?

My life now: going to work, workout,read books,i dont fap or watch porn, i dont even Drink,pick up my kids every second weekend,i live with my family (they Support me),i dont hang out with friends much.

I also tried to talk to some Girls but i stopped it because of my Depression.

 

[17 shots]

"Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness"

I heard butters say that on an episode of south park one day, it's one of the realest things I've ever heard a cartoon character say

 

[MrWood]

it takes time Sir.
it is not easy.
You might never get her out of your mind and that is OK.

in your case... you clearly see that her words do not match her actions
this is your time to move on, move forward.

it is unfortunate situation. You are a good man and now it is time for a new woman to discover and appreciate who you are.

Keep your head high, cry when you need and take a new step everyday to know you are the good man

 

[backseatjuan]

Is there anyway around Child support? If yes, do it, if no, accept it and pay it.

Other than that, I'd say forget the kid and the mother. It's not emotionally rewarding to go see your kid if you have to deal with the mother. It's the reason you stay depressed. It what holds you back.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You go seek professional help and talk to a counselor that specializes in this sort of thing.