"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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How do I become compassionate again?

ethnomethodologist

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Four months ago, I didn't have the desire to rush. I cared about everybody that came my way. The women loved me for that, so did the men, and anybody I spoke to I gave them genuine attention.

These days, I feel as though talking to these people is a waste of time.

Does anybody have any recommendations on how I can get my vibe back, and how I can make people feel good about themselves again?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ethnomethodologist

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Thanks dynamically, dynamically WHAT may I ask?

I had a major epiphany about compassion a few months ago, the concepts that were born from it were endless. I enetered flow, and the state stayed with me permanently for days on end.

I don't know where it went these days.

Thanks for the link, Vibes topic and your own should be a bunch of help. I just hope I can se in hindsight just what barrier I have put up.
 

insanity

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ethnomethodologist, i've been there too. when i first went on a big adventure by myself to see what i was made of. it's like when i returned, nobody was worth my time. it's like i could not relate to my old friends anymore. when i asked them hows life, it was the same stories. i left a boy and came back a man. i could not relate anymore.

i think your compassion problem lost, lies in the fact that people you talked to either didn't listen to you, be it advice or whatever. sometimes when people come and ask me for help and i give them advice and they don't listen....it sucks. why bother again. soon it makes you feel like that, with almost everyone. or maybe those people that you lost compassion for always came to you with there problems and soon that negative energy transfers from them to you.

maybe it's the weather. sometimes when it's cold or cloudy that just ruins my day.
 

ethnomethodologist

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It's cold and cloudy 6 out of 7 days a week:(
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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aBAzLLnA

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What helped for me to "become compassionate" unintentionally was by studying buddhism and zen. A lot of the teachings in buddhism can be applied in daily life to make things more positive.
 

ethnomethodologist

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aiight azn bawler I think I might, I've wanted to study zen for a long time now. Read so many stories about chinese philosphers, and mediatation is something I think I NEED!

My emotional lines seem so frayed as of late, I need to make them stronger. There are times I sit at work listening to the petty squabbles that I become irate very quick...
 

aBAzLLnA

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As an ethnomethodologist I'm not surprised you said "azn bawler" :), sigh, this account is sort of old and I don't play basketball anymore.

Anyway, "mediatation is something I think I NEED!", it's something everyone needs. I've been meditating for some years now and it just chills the hell out of you. Not only do you end up feeling relaxed, but people will start feeling the vibes. It's interesting, have fun with it.
 

ethnomethodologist

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Thanks, I've gone through the basics tons of times, but not until recently have I ever thought I had the need for it.
 
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