"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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How do I become compassionate again?

ethnomethodologist

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Four months ago, I didn't have the desire to rush. I cared about everybody that came my way. The women loved me for that, so did the men, and anybody I spoke to I gave them genuine attention.

These days, I feel as though talking to these people is a waste of time.

Does anybody have any recommendations on how I can get my vibe back, and how I can make people feel good about themselves again?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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ethnomethodologist

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Thanks dynamically, dynamically WHAT may I ask?

I had a major epiphany about compassion a few months ago, the concepts that were born from it were endless. I enetered flow, and the state stayed with me permanently for days on end.

I don't know where it went these days.

Thanks for the link, Vibes topic and your own should be a bunch of help. I just hope I can se in hindsight just what barrier I have put up.
 

insanity

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ethnomethodologist, i've been there too. when i first went on a big adventure by myself to see what i was made of. it's like when i returned, nobody was worth my time. it's like i could not relate to my old friends anymore. when i asked them hows life, it was the same stories. i left a boy and came back a man. i could not relate anymore.

i think your compassion problem lost, lies in the fact that people you talked to either didn't listen to you, be it advice or whatever. sometimes when people come and ask me for help and i give them advice and they don't listen....it sucks. why bother again. soon it makes you feel like that, with almost everyone. or maybe those people that you lost compassion for always came to you with there problems and soon that negative energy transfers from them to you.

maybe it's the weather. sometimes when it's cold or cloudy that just ruins my day.
 

ethnomethodologist

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It's cold and cloudy 6 out of 7 days a week:(
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

aBAzLLnA

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What helped for me to "become compassionate" unintentionally was by studying buddhism and zen. A lot of the teachings in buddhism can be applied in daily life to make things more positive.
 

ethnomethodologist

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aiight azn bawler I think I might, I've wanted to study zen for a long time now. Read so many stories about chinese philosphers, and mediatation is something I think I NEED!

My emotional lines seem so frayed as of late, I need to make them stronger. There are times I sit at work listening to the petty squabbles that I become irate very quick...
 

aBAzLLnA

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As an ethnomethodologist I'm not surprised you said "azn bawler" :), sigh, this account is sort of old and I don't play basketball anymore.

Anyway, "mediatation is something I think I NEED!", it's something everyone needs. I've been meditating for some years now and it just chills the hell out of you. Not only do you end up feeling relaxed, but people will start feeling the vibes. It's interesting, have fun with it.
 

ethnomethodologist

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Thanks, I've gone through the basics tons of times, but not until recently have I ever thought I had the need for it.
 
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