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How confident are you when it comes to sex, and why or why not?

Hal9000

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I'm very confident and that's based on feedback from approximately 60 women I've been with over the last 2-3 years. I can assure you when I was married and never getting any I had zero confidence in that area. Getting my body in great shape was a big confidence boost. Also I'm pretty kinky (which women love) and that makes things very exciting for women as I hear all about the other boring, bad in bed guys they've been with. I got into swinging as a Bull for a while and got comfortable having sex in front of others, being filmed, group sex, BD$M, etc so now when I'm with a regular woman there's nothing she can throw at me I can't handle and give back to her. Women love a confident, experienced, take charge man in bed and will do just about anything you want once you establish yourself as being in charge. But technique is important also. You've got to be a great kisser, really enjoy going down on a woman, be able to get and stay hard and then know how to use it. I'm not particularly well endowed but I can go for as long as she needs me too and thats another thing women always complain about a lack of men being able to do, so stop jerking off so much.
 

mrgoodstuff

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^This.

I have a gentle nature, but I don’t think women actually like that. When I force myself to be more aggressive/rough, they prefer it.

Have never gone down so I have no opinion on that.
"Never gone down", there are alot of manosphere and some "pimp" types who agree with your position. I have another position on that, but it's personal.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I'm very confident and that's based on feedback from approximately 60 women I've been with over the last 2-3 years. I can assure you when I was married and never getting any I had zero confidence in that area. Getting my body in great shape was a big confidence boost. Also I'm pretty kinky (which women love) and that makes things very exciting for women as I hear all about the other boring, bad in bed guys they've been with. I got into swinging as a Bull for a while and got comfortable having sex in front of others, being filmed, group sex, BD$M, etc so now when I'm with a regular woman there's nothing she can throw at me I can't handle and give back to her. Women love a confident, experienced, take charge man in bed and will do just about anything you want once you establish yourself as being in charge. But technique is important also. You've got to be a great kisser, really enjoy going down on a woman, be able to get and stay hard and then know how to use it. I'm not particularly well endowed but I can go for as long as she needs me too and thats another thing women always complain about a lack of men being able to do, so stop jerking off so much.
Did that confidence in that "swinger realm" translate into the rest of your life?
 

mrgoodstuff

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In my experience of sex into the triple digits of different women, I focus on making sure I am pleased. Back in beta days I always used to try to please the woman. Sex is a woman giving themselves to you and instinctively that is how they view it. Be as rough and controlling as you want (obviously don’t be too violent).

How she rates your sex is like everything else purely a function of her interest level. I’ve had what I thought was embarrassing short sex and the woman convulsing and saying it was mind blowing. I’ve also had marathon sex and women not care for it. It is all her interest level. How she feels about you she takes into the bedroom.
Sometimes marathon sex IS for YOU...
 

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mrgoodstuff

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for me nah. I’m good and bored at 15 minutes
We are wired differently and it's okay. For myself, the marathon was about what i wanted to do with it. The entire process is exciting and invigorating. It's babes who want to speed you up, so they can feel like they make everyone bust in 2 minutes.
 

EyeBRollin

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We are wired differently and it's okay. For myself, the marathon was about what i wanted to do with it. The entire process is exciting and invigorating. It's babes who want to speed you up, so they can feel like they make everyone bust in 2 minutes.
Yeah I’ve met a few braggers they think it is a badge of honor if they can make you bust quick.
 

Hal9000

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We are wired differently and it's okay. For myself, the marathon was about what i wanted to do with it. The entire process is exciting and invigorating. It's babes who want to speed you up, so they can feel like they make everyone bust in 2 minutes.
This is definitely a thing with women. If they knew you'd been with a lot of other women (and in the swinging world word traveled fast) they would want to outdo the other girls, whether it was giving the best BJ or trying to get you off fastest or just flat out being the sluttiest or least inhibited. Women are very competitive once they decide you are worth their time.
 

zinc4

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I used to be great. But now the older i get i tend to view sex as a chore unless im super attracted to the girl or in sync with her. The more women you have been with the harder it gets for one to keep you hard. I especially hate it when one wants to ride me on top like hard. I go soft quick and just throw her off me. So anyways i dont care about sex that much anymore. Id rather just do it myself with my hand while she kisses me tbh. Lol. Used to be an animal in the bedroom though but now its just like well ive seen it and done it all its not that special really. Takes a lot to keep me hard.
 

Lookatu

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I used to be great. But now the older i get i tend to view sex as a chore unless im super attracted to the girl or in sync with her. The more women you have been with the harder it gets for one to keep you hard. I especially hate it when one wants to ride me on top like hard. I go soft quick and just throw her off me. So anyways i dont care about sex that much anymore. Id rather just do it myself with my hand while she kisses me tbh. Lol. Used to be an animal in the bedroom though but now its just like well ive seen it and done it all its not that special really. Takes a lot to keep me hard.
Maybe you need to find someone you can connect with outside of just being physical. Girls that I'm only attracted to physically often fizzle fast and the sex does start feeling like work if I haven't dumped them yet. But sex does feel better and doesn't feel like a chore with someone you can actually connect with both mentally and physically.
 

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r4zorsharp

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again, thanks everyone for the honesty. these types of discussions give great insight. from my own experience, ive heard women deal with all type of sexual situations, from embarrassingly bad to amazingly good.

from what i've heard from many women, rough sex isn't what every woman likes. infact, many of womens most uncomfortable experiences are with a guy who was "too rough" and didn't understand that the girl was not feeling pleasure at all. not every woman wants to feel like a **** doll. respect a woman in bed, and know what she wants, and gauge her pleasure levels.. because not all girls will be bold enough to tell you in the midst of sex that they are not enjoying it.. they will often settle until its over and then never talk to you again or might still talk to you because they want to know if you actually see them as a person or jsut an object

and frankly, if you go too rough with a girl who is not enjoying it, you deserve to get punched in the face or get your ass kicked completely. and i mean that and say that because i've heard from far too many girls about guys who were that way and really hurt the girl without realizing it.
 
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